Lately, I’ve found myself thinking a lot about how modern life shapes us in ways we barely notice. Not the dramatic dystopian stuff we see in fiction, but the subtle pressures that guide how we behave, what we value, and even who we think we are.
Things like:
The pressure to appear “fine” even when we’re quietly falling apart
The way social media curates our personalities for us
The constant need for validation — likes, comments, confirmation
Financial strain that forces us into roles we never chose
The numbness that comes from constant digital noise
The fear of stepping out of the identity we’ve carefully constructed
When does the performance become the person?
And if we did stop performing, who would we actually be?
These questions ended up forming the backbone of my recent novel, because they’re questions I think many of us ask in private moments — even if we rarely say them aloud. The idea that someone could be living a “successful” life on the surface while feeling disconnected, anxious, or unsure of their own direction… feels incredibly universal right now.
I’m curious how other readers and writers feel about this:
Do you ever catch yourself living a version of your life that doesn’t feel truly yours?
Is it something we can break out of — or is it just part of the structure of modern society?
And, maybe most importantly:
If the systems around us shape our beliefs, our habits, and our sense of meaning…
how much control do we actually have?
Would love to hear your thoughts. As someone who writes about these themes, I find the real-world experiences just as powerful as the fictional ones.
Things like:
The pressure to appear “fine” even when we’re quietly falling apart
The way social media curates our personalities for us
The constant need for validation — likes, comments, confirmation
Financial strain that forces us into roles we never chose
The numbness that comes from constant digital noise
The fear of stepping out of the identity we’ve carefully constructed
When does the performance become the person?
And if we did stop performing, who would we actually be?
These questions ended up forming the backbone of my recent novel, because they’re questions I think many of us ask in private moments — even if we rarely say them aloud. The idea that someone could be living a “successful” life on the surface while feeling disconnected, anxious, or unsure of their own direction… feels incredibly universal right now.
I’m curious how other readers and writers feel about this:
Do you ever catch yourself living a version of your life that doesn’t feel truly yours?
Is it something we can break out of — or is it just part of the structure of modern society?
And, maybe most importantly:
If the systems around us shape our beliefs, our habits, and our sense of meaning…
how much control do we actually have?
Would love to hear your thoughts.
As someone who writes about these themes, I find the real-world experiences just as powerful as the fictional ones.