Debbie’s review of All Fours > Likes and Comments

Oh, my. What will you think of this, I wonder...?

Liking it, with reservations. A section needed shortening. And as I thought, a little too porny for me. The tampon scene was a thousand on the yuck scale! Still, love her off-kilter viewpoint. Probably a 4.

Yeah, this leaked over into “ick” a lot, but it didn’t feel gratuitous to me. I was surprised by how brave and authentic and unique it all felt, by I also could not think of a reader to recommend it to.

Great review, Debbie! My main takeaway from this is that you and your daughter came together and shared an experience, and that is priceless.

Oh this made me laugh. I'm a menopausal woman and I would prefer non graphic sex esp if I'm reading it with my daughter. This would just be uncomfortable - more for her than me. You know, July just didn't work for me before and I don't think she would work for me with this one, so a hard pass from me. Glad you did some mother daughter bonding because that is fun! Fair review, Debbie.

Debbie, what a terrific, honest, relatable, funny review. You were so open! She’s a tough one to love, even though I’m one who found it refreshing. Hey, some things you gotta try once, right? There’s nothing like this. You loved the hotel room, right?

This isn't a book for me, but I noticed and liked the way you reviewed it, giving enough information to relay the flavor of the book while disguising all the plot points.

I hauled out my Debbie-inspired pogo stick for this one, but I totally understand why not everyone was as jazzed by it as I was! I love that you read this with your daughter. I wonder what my 21 year old daughter would think of me reading this?! :D You've written an excellent review as always :)

Terrific review Debbie, fun that you read this with your daughter, even if it was not a book you loved.

I love engaging reviews for 3-star novels. I had a blast reading yours. I've never read July, but this one is on my TBR because of Candi's enticing review. You've piqued my interest with the motel room! My daughter is in her mid-30s...I think she'd feel the same way your daughter does about it. 😄

What a brilliant review Debster - such a shame you wanted to be "Matchy-Match" with your daughter (did you make that phrase up on the spot??) - but I'm with you, I think some of this sounds a little too much!! A shame that tampon scene is forever imprinted into your memory. Looks like the pogo-stick stays in the cupboard for this one, however, it sounds like you at least had some juicy stuff to talk to your duaghter about - great review as usual, you gave me a few laughs again 😂🤗🎈

Jennifer wrote: "Yeah, this leaked over into “ick” a lot, but it didn’t feel gratuitous to me. I was surprised by how brave and authentic and unique it all felt, by I also could not think of a reader to recommend i..."

Oh I hate not to be all matchy-match with you, too, Jennifer! We have such similar taste. I can see what you mean when you say July is “brave and authentic and unique.” I do like her style and insights. I guess this prune is just a prude! My daughter was shocked that I complained about the sex, since there weren’t many graphic descriptions of people actually having sex. She associates graphic sex with Henry Miller books, and barely noticed the sex in All Fours! She thought it was light on sex, in fact! Fascinating!

Angela wrote: "Great review, Debbie! My main takeaway from this is that you and your daughter came together and shared an experience, and that is priceless."

Thanks, Angela! This is true—doing a buddy read with my daughter was priceless! (I realized when I reread my review that I didn’t say it was a buddy read; it was not a book we read side by side! Not sure if people knew what I meant, but just in case, I edited my review to clarify. I can’t imagine sitting right next to her and reading it!)

Canadian Jen wrote: "Oh this made me laugh. I'm a menopausal woman and I would prefer non graphic sex esp if I'm reading it with my daughter. This would just be uncomfortable - more for her than me. You know, July just..."

Thanks, Jen! It was fun to read about a woman having a mid-life crisis involving sex instead of the usual story of a man having one. Ha, yeah, if you haven’t liked her other books, you would probably hate this one! I’m sure not running to read her other books, I guarantee you! Read my comment to Angela—I worry I implied that my daughter and I read the book side by side. It was actually a buddy read, so there was at least physical distance between us, lol! I edited my review to clarify this.

Jennifer wrote: "Debbie, what a terrific, honest, relatable, funny review. You were so open! She’s a tough one to love, even though I’m one who found it refreshing. Hey, some things you gotta try once, right? There..."

Jennifer—oops, I answered you earlier, too. Yes yes yes to loving the motel room! That was the highlight of the book to me. I wanted the book to continue on with creative ideas like we saw with the hotel room, but that didn’t happen—so that was a letdown.

Btw, i mentioned in some comment that my daughter Jess is going to a performance piece by July in November, here in Seattle. She just discovered that it will have something interactive to do with the book There, There by Tommy Orange. So now we’re doing another buddy read!

Left Coast Justin wrote: "This isn't a book for me, but I noticed and liked the way you reviewed it, giving enough information to relay the flavor of the book while disguising all the plot points."

Thanks so much, Justin! I’m fascinated that both Jennifer and Candi loved the book, because we all have similar tastes. Taste is a weird thing, hard to understand!

This is a balanced and generous review of an icky book you did not love, Debbie. It is clearly not a book for me. I love knowing you read this with your daughter and discussed it with her. Priceless! I laughed reading your review and enjoyed it. Thank you, Debbie.

Ah, you and your buoyant reviews are back in a big way! I thoroughly enjoyed this one. Candi and Jennifer's reviews had me picking this one up and reading excerpts. That was enough to let me know that it wasn't for me. Bravo for actually discussing this one with your daughter. Interesting how you two viewed the sex in this one so differently.

Candi wrote: "I hauled out my Debbie-inspired pogo stick for this one, but I totally understand why not everyone was as jazzed by it as I was! I love that you read this with your daughter. I wonder what my 21 ye..."

Thanks, Candi! Glad that it was a pogo-stick worthy read for you! 5-star reads are scrumptiousI I fully expected to love this since both you and Jennifer did. And now my daughter, who is over the moon about it. Taste is a tricky thing! Yeah, keep imagining reading this with your daughter and it will crack you up! It’s very hard (and weird, to say the least) to tell your daughter that you think a book has too many masturbation scenes—and she disagrees! Very atypical mother-daughter conversation, lol!

Karen wrote: "Terrific review Debbie, fun that you read this with your daughter, even if it was not a book you loved."

Thanks so much, Karen! Yeah, it was certainly something to share a book so raunchy with my daughter! A new experience for me, that’s for sure!

Oh, that’s interesting that you’re reading There, There with your daughter next. I look forward to reading what you think. I think it’s understandable that this didn’t hit home for you and that you didn’t love spending time with the main character. She’s not really likable, although I did find her sympathetic. The whole fantasy-hotel room was just such a unique way to express that desire to create a perfect “you” space, I couldn’t get enough of it. I found the sex explicit, by the way, and I think lots of people will be made uncomfortable. It’s almost a test of how close the reader is willing to get.

K wrote: "I love engaging reviews for 3-star novels. I had a blast reading yours. I've never read July, but this one is on my TBR because of Candi's enticing review. You've piqued my interest with the motel ..."

Thanks so much, K! Will be interesting to see what you think. Ha, I’m glad I was the prude, not my daughter. I think it’s easier for her to think of me as a prude than a mom who loves to read about sex!

Debbie,
I have suspected that this is not the book for me, and your review has confirmed it! There are several loaded topics that you have handled beautifully here, much better than I would have, for sure.
I think it's pretty hilarious that you read this with you daughter. Did y'all get in there, and discuss all of the nitty-gritty?!

Wonderful, funny and candid review, Debbie! How engaging and rewarding to buddy-read and discuss your different reading experiences with your daughter - if there is anything I could appreciate about this novel, it is how it sparks discussion and openness on things we would maybe not so easily talk about without this novel as a starting point.

Mark wrote: "What a brilliant review Debster - such a shame you wanted to be "Matchy-Match" with your daughter (did you make that phrase up on the spot??) - but I'm with you, I think some of this sounds a littl..."

Thanks so much, Markady Mark! Lol, doesn’t every one want to be matchy-match with their kids? (Ha, don’t remember when I came up with matchy-match, but it works). The eternal need to please them and to be in the “in” crowd! But dammit, lol, I just couldn’t agree with her that the mega-sex was okay with me. Several antsy, weird, and blushable discussions between mother and daughter! Weirdly, she didn’t think there was too much sex, which floored me—because there was! Mama knows best! But in truth, I’d rather she think I’m a prune-y prude than an over-sexed senior!

Laysee wrote: "This is a balanced and generous review of an icky book you did not love, Debbie. It is clearly not a book for me. I love knowing you read this with your daughter and discussed it with her. Priceles..."

Thanks so much, Laysee! It was quite an experience reading it with my daughter! There was no tip-toeing around the porno elephant in the room, so we had some funny and weird conversations!

Lisa wrote: "Ah, you and your buoyant reviews are back in a big way! I thoroughly enjoyed this one. Candi and Jennifer's reviews had me picking this one up and reading excerpts. That was enough to let me know t..."

Thanks so much, Lisa! Yeah, I can’t see you liking this one. Good that you had a lot of input so you could make a good decision about whether or not to read it. Yes, it is completely weird that my daughter and I viewed sex in the book so differently. I’m really glad it went down the way it did, though. I would much rather she think her mom is a prude than a sex-lovin’ antique!

Jennifer wrote: "Oh, that’s interesting that you’re reading There, There with your daughter next. I look forward to reading what you think. I think it’s understandable that this didn’t hit home for you and that you..."

Ha, yes, I guess I didn’t want to get that close, lol! The character not being likable played into it, I know. If you’re not crazy about someone and they start talking sex, it just makes your opinion of them worse, and I think that’s what happened here. The character talked sex a lot.
Thanks for confirming that the sex is explicit. I don’t get why Jess thought it wasn’t!
Just started it, but liking There, There!

Another great review, Debbie. My cousin asked me about reviewers that I like on Goodreads and I told her of you. I’m sharing this one with her.

I get the impression that Miranda July so deeply needs acceptance that she shoves people into immersion to get an immediate reaction and appease her worse anxiety of just not knowing. She’d rather be rejected for her unique flavor and know it right away.

Julie wrote: "Debbie,
I have suspected that this is not the book for me, and your review has confirmed it! There are several loaded topics that you have handled beautifully here, much better than I would have, f..."

Thanks, Julie! Ha, well, we didn’t really get down to discussing who put what body part where, but we did argue about whether there were too many mentions of masturbation. And believe me, even saying the word “masturbation” to your kid is a cringe-able event!

Ilse wrote: "Wonderful, funny and candid review, Debbie! How engaging and rewarding to buddy-read and discuss your different reading experiences with your daughter - if there is anything I could appreciate abou..."

Thanks so much, Ilse! I agree—what a great way to spark a discussion about hard subjects! Don’t you just love how a book can do that? I’ll alway remember and love that my daughter and I did a buddy read of this book!

Christine wrote: "Another great review, Debbie. My cousin asked me about reviewers that I like on Goodreads and I told her of you. I’m sharing this one with her."

Wow, Christine, you made my day. What a huge compliment! Thank you thank you thank you!

Yes. It was Judy Blume who introduced that word over here, to my girls, and, I must admit, as sassy and chatty as I can be, that topic snuffed out my light pretty quickly. Cringeworthy, I tell you!

Jennifer wrote: "I get the impression that Miranda July so deeply needs acceptance that she shoves people into immersion to get an immediate reaction and appease her worse anxiety of just not knowing. She’d rather ..."

This is so damn insightful, Jennifer! Just wow. I can understand that technique for protecting yourself from negative feedback, makes me appreciate July and her book more. I think I’ve done the same thing in my past now and then. “Here I am, take me or leave me, and get your criticism over with!”

😁It's a no for me, Debbie. I've considered this novel because of the reviews, but I'm so old that the sex scenes and fantasies would likely bore me. I loved your clever review!

Julie wrote: "Yes. It was Judy Blume who introduced that word over here, to my girls, and, I must admit, as sassy and chatty as I can be, that topic snuffed out my light pretty quickly. Cringeworthy, I tell you!"

Julie—ha! Yes, it is NOT a comfortable conversation to have with your kids. Shuts us Chatty Cathys right up, lol!

Carol wrote: "😁It's a no for me, Debbie. I've considered this novel because of the reviews, but I'm so old that the sex scenes and fantasies would likely bore me. I loved your clever review!"

Thanks, Carol! Yes, boredom was a part of my reaction to the sex scenes and sex chatter. We old farts have no hormones left, lol!

Debbie wrote: "Jennifer wrote: "I get the impression that Miranda July so deeply needs acceptance that she shoves people into immersion to get an immediate reaction and appease her worse anxiety of just not knowi..."

Yes, exactly, it releases anxiety. And she seems to focus on fringe sexual expression as her realm of "Know-it-now."

Okay, I put it on my list, then read your review and suspect I'd agree with you. I am not drawn to this kind of voice. Probably just not my thing so I'm taking it off my TBR list Thanks, Debbie.

Betsy wrote: "Okay, I put it on my list, then read your review and suspect I'd agree with you. I am not drawn to this kind of voice. Probably just not my thing so I'm taking it off my TBR list Thanks, Debbie."

Betsy, I think you’re smart to take this out of your pile. I mentioned in my year-end summary that I think it’s a generational thing. Two people on GR with similar tastes as mine loved the book, and they are both in their 50s. I liked parts of it (some of July’s philosophy, but definitely not all), but mostly because I wanted to be like my daughter, lol!