Amy’s review of Winter Love > Likes and Comments
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Also Han Suyin - has Chinese origins. When you wrote "lesbian relationships in girls schools as unremarkable..." I also thought that in cultures outside of Western there are often strong female-female relationships which may or may-not be sexual. I learnt in relation to students from a variety of countries that in cultures and societies where there is a strong split in male/female types, separation by work, by activity, by roles - there is often same gender bonding in other areas. We often regard hetero or homo-sexual couples from the perspective of Western culture and give it meaning specific to the wider cultural context. For example young men in Pakistan were, probably still are forbidden to have any contact whatsoever with young women, and consequently quite often have strong bonds with other young men - to the point where is there is a great deal of emotional - and I'm not sure to what extent physical connection, but there is a lot of touching - seen simply as comradely. And I think similar closeness in cultures where women are often isolated in terms of work and time spent together - I think there are quite close physical connections between women - again I don't know if they tip into sexual connection - shortage of knowledge/research - difficulty in assessing people's private lives?
Laura wrote: "Also Han Suyin - has Chinese origins. When you wrote "lesbian relationships in girls schools as unremarkable..." I also thought that in cultures outside of Western there are often strong female-fem..."
That's so interesting to consider, Laura! I was uncertain what to make of Han Suyin's heritage in relation to this story, and you make a great case for the influence of her experience with homosociality in a more gender-segregated culture. But this is true of historical western cultures, too--I'm thinking of all those debates about Lincoln sharing a bed with his best friend, Boston marriages, and other 19th-c examples. We seem to lack a vocabulary for intense same-sex intimacy that may involve physical affection and even romance, without literal sex. (Also thinking of modern-day "shipping" culture, memes like "fellas is it gay to...," and general suspicion that all fictional characters are at least a little bit gay. I plead guilty to that last one.) What I think is interesting about Winter Love is that the girl coupling gets a pass even if it's romantic or sexual, because it's considered training wheels for a heterosexual relationship. This lines up with accounts in DH Lawrence, Virginia Woolf, Muriel Spark, Mary McCarthy, etc. So that's the long way of saying I totally agree that a Chinese writer might have a lot more familiarity with this sort of thing, and that there's more fluidity and nuance in the friendship-romance-sex continuum than we really have words for (even now, I think). But in this book anyway, Suyin makes it clear that the girl couples she's talking about are romantic, exclusive, and sometimes sexual.
Yes - I was thinking along those lines also - "girl coupling gets a pass ... because it's considered training wheels for heterosexual (marriage)..." That's v much visible in 19th - as say Victorian - British literature. I was thinking of - The Picnic at Hanging Rock - but plenty of others if I start scratching my head
And yes - I really like your observation - "We seem to lack a vocabulary for intense same-sex intimacy - physical affection, romance, without literal sex." Elena Ferrante's novels.
And yes - "homosociality in more hender-segregated cultures. ... true of historical western cultures." I was thinking of Antonia White's novels featuring Clara Batchelor.
And - Han Suyin - a comparable might be Rumer Godden - who grew up in India but sent "home" to Britain. It's a long time since I've read Han Suyin's - A Many Splendoured Thing.
It's a very big topic and immensely interesting - and I'm thinking now of the Japanese fiction I've read - again often strong relationships between women - romantic yes, but again not necessarily sexual.
I'll have to think more. It's very good of you to respond in detail - and so interesting to see many of my own thoughts expressed so well. :)
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Laura
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Jan 12, 2026 10:06AM
Also Han Suyin - has Chinese origins. When you wrote "lesbian relationships in girls schools as unremarkable..." I also thought that in cultures outside of Western there are often strong female-female relationships which may or may-not be sexual. I learnt in relation to students from a variety of countries that in cultures and societies where there is a strong split in male/female types, separation by work, by activity, by roles - there is often same gender bonding in other areas. We often regard hetero or homo-sexual couples from the perspective of Western culture and give it meaning specific to the wider cultural context. For example young men in Pakistan were, probably still are forbidden to have any contact whatsoever with young women, and consequently quite often have strong bonds with other young men - to the point where is there is a great deal of emotional - and I'm not sure to what extent physical connection, but there is a lot of touching - seen simply as comradely. And I think similar closeness in cultures where women are often isolated in terms of work and time spent together - I think there are quite close physical connections between women - again I don't know if they tip into sexual connection - shortage of knowledge/research - difficulty in assessing people's private lives?
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Laura wrote: "Also Han Suyin - has Chinese origins. When you wrote "lesbian relationships in girls schools as unremarkable..." I also thought that in cultures outside of Western there are often strong female-fem..."That's so interesting to consider, Laura! I was uncertain what to make of Han Suyin's heritage in relation to this story, and you make a great case for the influence of her experience with homosociality in a more gender-segregated culture. But this is true of historical western cultures, too--I'm thinking of all those debates about Lincoln sharing a bed with his best friend, Boston marriages, and other 19th-c examples. We seem to lack a vocabulary for intense same-sex intimacy that may involve physical affection and even romance, without literal sex. (Also thinking of modern-day "shipping" culture, memes like "fellas is it gay to...," and general suspicion that all fictional characters are at least a little bit gay. I plead guilty to that last one.) What I think is interesting about Winter Love is that the girl coupling gets a pass even if it's romantic or sexual, because it's considered training wheels for a heterosexual relationship. This lines up with accounts in DH Lawrence, Virginia Woolf, Muriel Spark, Mary McCarthy, etc. So that's the long way of saying I totally agree that a Chinese writer might have a lot more familiarity with this sort of thing, and that there's more fluidity and nuance in the friendship-romance-sex continuum than we really have words for (even now, I think). But in this book anyway, Suyin makes it clear that the girl couples she's talking about are romantic, exclusive, and sometimes sexual.
Yes - I was thinking along those lines also - "girl coupling gets a pass ... because it's considered training wheels for heterosexual (marriage)..." That's v much visible in 19th - as say Victorian - British literature. I was thinking of - The Picnic at Hanging Rock - but plenty of others if I start scratching my head And yes - I really like your observation - "We seem to lack a vocabulary for intense same-sex intimacy - physical affection, romance, without literal sex." Elena Ferrante's novels.
And yes - "homosociality in more hender-segregated cultures. ... true of historical western cultures." I was thinking of Antonia White's novels featuring Clara Batchelor.
And - Han Suyin - a comparable might be Rumer Godden - who grew up in India but sent "home" to Britain. It's a long time since I've read Han Suyin's - A Many Splendoured Thing.
It's a very big topic and immensely interesting - and I'm thinking now of the Japanese fiction I've read - again often strong relationships between women - romantic yes, but again not necessarily sexual.
I'll have to think more. It's very good of you to respond in detail - and so interesting to see many of my own thoughts expressed so well. :)
