Jenn’s review of Horny: Sex Without Scruples > Likes and Comments
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Fair enough - I appreciate the direct response. Our book club had a fantastic discussion about the book, and I will share these comments with them. I’ve also corrected the “unnamed charity” in my review to RAINN.
Thanks for the follow-up—and I’m glad to hear your book club had a good discussion. That actually means a lot, because I went into this project fully aware that a certain segment of readers was going to push back hard on the tone, the frankness, and the subject matter. Honestly, that was part of the calculation—you can’t write about sex, power, predation, and social hypocrisy without getting a few thrown tomatoes along the way.
I also have to say, your comment about me overusing “Here’s the thing,” “Here’s the kicker,” and “Here’s the truth” genuinely cracked me up, because you’re right. I wrote the book the same way I talk—unfiltered, conversational, and real—and sometimes that means certain verbal habits show up on the page. I left it in intentionally, even if it drives a few readers nuts.
One thing worth mentioning is how much research went into Horny. Before I wrote a single chapter, I spent years talking to people—men and women—about dating, intimacy, boundary-breaking, and the darker side of the sexual economy. Election polls make national predictions based on samples of roughly 1,000 people with a 3–4% margin of error. I interviewed roughly 800 people in total (more men than women), and in addition to that, I had a front-row seat to a world most people never see when I owned the massage parlors. The stories, the patterns, the contradictions, the coping mechanisms—there were times the reality was so absurd and disturbing that satire almost felt like the only way to write about it.
So yes, the book reads loud, messy, opinionated, and sometimes abrasive—because the world it’s describing is exactly that. I knew it wasn’t going to land the same way for everyone, and that’s okay. The fact that it sparked conversation instead of silence tells me it did what it was supposed to do.
Thanks again for engaging directly—that kind of dialogue is rare and appreciated.
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Fair enough - I appreciate the direct response. Our book club had a fantastic discussion about the book, and I will share these comments with them. I’ve also corrected the “unnamed charity” in my review to RAINN.
Thanks for the follow-up—and I’m glad to hear your book club had a good discussion. That actually means a lot, because I went into this project fully aware that a certain segment of readers was going to push back hard on the tone, the frankness, and the subject matter. Honestly, that was part of the calculation—you can’t write about sex, power, predation, and social hypocrisy without getting a few thrown tomatoes along the way.I also have to say, your comment about me overusing “Here’s the thing,” “Here’s the kicker,” and “Here’s the truth” genuinely cracked me up, because you’re right. I wrote the book the same way I talk—unfiltered, conversational, and real—and sometimes that means certain verbal habits show up on the page. I left it in intentionally, even if it drives a few readers nuts.
One thing worth mentioning is how much research went into Horny. Before I wrote a single chapter, I spent years talking to people—men and women—about dating, intimacy, boundary-breaking, and the darker side of the sexual economy. Election polls make national predictions based on samples of roughly 1,000 people with a 3–4% margin of error. I interviewed roughly 800 people in total (more men than women), and in addition to that, I had a front-row seat to a world most people never see when I owned the massage parlors. The stories, the patterns, the contradictions, the coping mechanisms—there were times the reality was so absurd and disturbing that satire almost felt like the only way to write about it.
So yes, the book reads loud, messy, opinionated, and sometimes abrasive—because the world it’s describing is exactly that. I knew it wasn’t going to land the same way for everyone, and that’s okay. The fact that it sparked conversation instead of silence tells me it did what it was supposed to do.
Thanks again for engaging directly—that kind of dialogue is rare and appreciated.
One quick clarification on the charity: it isn’t unnamed. It’s RAINN, and it’s named on page 4 of the book. $1 per copy goes to support survivors of sexual assault. And regarding the tagline you mentioned—“a book about flirting, dating, intimacy, relationships, and overstepping boundaries”—that’s accurate in the context of the book, because Horny shows what happens when those things go wrong. The book isn’t a how-to guide for dating or intimacy; it’s about what happens when people overstep boundaries sexually, emotionally, and relationally. The flirting/dating/relationship framework is the entry point, and the darker material shows the consequences when those boundaries get violated, broken, or exploited.
As for the stylistic choices (self-quotes, headers, similes, “here’s the thing/kicker/truth,” and the titles/quotes at the start of paragraphs), those are intentional. The self-quotes and paragraph headers function the same way a comedian uses a setup line—they frame the beat before the punchline or analysis. It’s a stylistic choice, not a proofreading error. Horny isn’t meant to be a dating or intimacy guide, or a polite memoir for Sunday brunch. It’s a satirical social memoir about sex, power, predators, hypocrisy, trafficking, exploitation, and the absurdity wrapped around all of it. Satire uses exaggeration on purpose—that’s the point, not the mistake.
You called it mansplaining—that tends to happen when a writer dissects systems (sexual economies, power structures, subcultures, etc.) in a blunt first-person voice. Fair enough, I definitely explain things loudly and without apology. But the targets aren’t women or LGBTQ people—the targets are predators, power abuse, and the markets that enable exploitation.
You mentioned it felt homophobic or misogynistic. I take that seriously, so I’ll say this plainly: I’m not hostile toward LGBTQ people or women, and that’s not the engine of this book. The book condemns exploitation, trafficking, coercion, hypocrisy, and predation. A lot of the stories involve real gay friends, sex workers, massage businesses, and scenes I’ve actually been around. The humor punches upward at abusers and institutions, not downward at victims.
And you’re right about one thing—the book deals heavily with sexual addiction, trafficking, abusers, enablers, and the darker side of the sex economy. That’s intentional. The humor is the scalpel; the subject matter is the tumor.
I appreciate that you read it through, found parts funny, and explained what didn’t work for you. Satire is polarizing by nature, and honest reactions like yours do help the right readers find the book.