TJ’s review of All About Love: New Visions > Likes and Comments
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This is exactly how I felt about the book - and now I feel like I don't need to write my own review. Thank you!
You make some very good points. I enjoyed many parts of the book, but couldn't get on board with everything she had to say.
Yes! There were some gems but the writing was mostly irritating.
Welp, this review says it all. Only thing for me to add is that, as an atheist, there was also a lot of spiritual/divine talk that detracted from the experience for me, as well. Though she never speaks overtly of any one religious tradition, it's clear that her Christian upbringing influences her way of speaking, which made certain of her leaps in logic inaccessible to me. I stopped reading at the last chapter because it got a bit tedious to wade through.
I am usually on board with hooks and almost felt guilty for giving only 2 stars. I am in agreement with this review and Lindsay's sentiments as well.
I was surprised by some of the more preachy undertones throughout the book. One stand out passage was in the chapter on greed. Here, she describes a president "seducing a young woman ...for the satisfaction of hedonistic pleasure," then goes on to talk about this same woman as "manipulating facts and details .... Prostituting herself for her story." I felt like I was listening to a sermon on sin and not reading a known scholar on feminist theory and thought.
Needless to say, she lost me with this book. I had a hard time finishing it.
Great review! I completely agree. I also had trouble keeping my head in it. My mind kept wandering uncontrollably! Made it hard for me to get through.
I agree this was a bizarre read. Sometimes like an algorithmic mashup of bell hooks and love. She doesn’t address the most beautiful thing about love which is that it evolved and exists and provides fundamental structure for our conscious experience.
Wow. I could not have said it better myself! Also agree with Lindsay.
Wow. I had a very different experience. I found it very insightful. Especially the parts about love being a choice and that it is a myth that we fall in love and don’t have a choice. I recently had that exact experience. I’m a lesbian and though bell is not I found so much truth in her words that resonate with me and my experiences. I really loved how she demystified love and destroys the fairytale that many of us still seek love from. It’s a hard read if you are not open to challenging your ideas about love. My mom is 64 I bought her a copy and she too has found the book very insightful. She’s still learning about love. Best of luck to you all.
Been reading this and got to the chapter on commitment and was curious about how she came up with the title because the chapter spoke mostly of self-love. A lot of anecdotal evidence for her theories and borrowing entire ideas from other authors. I’m going to finish it but I just thought it kind of strange. It’s my first Bell Hooks book though so I’m unfamiliar with her writing style.
Well. After reading several comments on this book I conclude that I don't need an author or anyone for that matter to incite their views of love mixed with a sermon and manipulation. Thanks, everyone!
I entirely agree! to see so many I people I know/follow who are also LGBT and anti-capitalists really liking this book definitely gave me high hopes, but a lot of the time white reading this, felt like this really wasn't written for people like me. Disappointing especially when there are definitely still useful parts in there.
I just finished this book and was trying to vocalize my frustration with it to my boyfriend..this review sums it up better than I could!
I am about halfway through and while I agree that there are some striking insights here, there is so much I’m finding problematic. The lens is totally heterosexist—and I’m a straight cis female. I’m also pretty disturbed by her harsh assessments of Nicole Simpson and Monica Lewinsky. They have me questioning whether I should just abandon the book.
Totally Kristen! I drew a little angry face in the book next to the bit about Monica Lewinsky, so horrible!
10000% ty for articulating so perfectly what I was struggling with, myself.
In many ways, I saw the discomfort as a positive. I think if we frame this book not as an authoritative guide on how to love, but rather as hooks states it, as a meditation, it prompts us to think critically and question the meaning for ourselves. If I was uncomfortable, I realized it was because it made me question something that I long held as a fundamental truth, and made me reconcile with that. Love that.
Meditating on love through her lens provides us with a tool to meditate on love through our lens. Hooks obviously did the job. Y’all are meditating and responding.
Thank you! You just saved me from reading this book. 🙏
Completely agree and well said! I felt this way reading it too.
maybe i missed it but i also found that even though the statement that "love and abuse cannot coexist" is powerful, she never provides us with a definition of abuse that would make this statement really helpful? she gives a few examples throughout the book (like spanking kids, etc) but even some of these aren't things that people would intuitively call "abuse" imo.
Wow, thank you for this comment! You articulated perfectly what I was thinking, but didn’t quite have the words for.
SAME! I am considering dnf'ing it bc it makes my brain heavy trying to separate the gold from the poop
The idea that love and abuse can't co-exist overlooks that fact that people are fallible. I don't condone abuse but I just can't agree with this.
I totally agree! I feel that some statements are out of reality, The reading was important at some points and pretty upseting at others.
hooks is breaking down social theory behind gender binary relationships derived from her experiences in mainly Black culture and heterosexual culture. Just because you don’t fit the phenotype or generation does not mean there are not valuable insights from what is an inherently gender critical view of relationships.
yup. and not just this, many of her books have the same issues. she couldn't forsee what capitalism and dystopia will do to the world few decades down the line. despite being on the same page with feminism and love, there's no groundbreaking discovery for a 20 year old me reading it in the year 2022. the work is a bit obsolete.
Same - I had to dig for the gems. It truly felt disjointed.
This is exactly what I would have written. I *wanted* to like this book so much.
One thing to note, Hooks's parents worked as a janitor and a maid, so I don't think it's fair to say that she doesn't have a grasp of what a working class life looks like.
yes yes yes !! I’m not even done with the book yet but I have noticed the aspect of barely acknowledging lgbtq+ relationships
Yes! I think I wrote a similar note in the margins of the page where she talked about having two homes. So unaware it was painful.
So, what’s an alternative read? Any recommendations?
Yes I never like rich people including writers and artists whose work we support on our blue collar salaries holding forth from their vacation homes about work and loving it. Yes the working classes have an intelligentsia from which you come professor hooks!
Yeah the two houses was so funny to me like what 😭
Wait, what's wrong with the phrase hedonistic pleasure
I really wanted to love this book but I fully agree with your review.
This is EXACTLY how I felt about this book
I think it’s totally ok for someone to talk about their two homes - she’s from a poor working class background and has worked hard for her money. Why shouldn’t she be able to share that? Not being able to share your achievements as a (Black) woman is also rooted in racism and sexism, so I was delighted that she talked about this so openly and matter of factly, as she should be allowed to.
+1 to Dina
This reads more like a dissertation and I didn’t open it expecting to agree with everything, nor did I pick up this book expecting it to give me some life changing insight. It’s a critical thinking essay on the topic. If anything I think it encourages debate and critical thinking.
With that said I wasn’t Blown away by this books it’s not the alchemist for me, but it was an important read and I would recommend it to every soul who is willing to think critically on the topic.
yeah i’m ngl i was confused in the part where she mentioned work; like i thought it was going to go in an anti capitalist direction and it just was lacklustre ? but i did enjoy a lot of the book though and as you mentioned there are several gems that should be expended on
@Dina agree with you. Having two homes doesn’t mean she lives in a mansion…
Very much agree with this review. I wrote down some of the highlights, but there were some moments that felt pretentious
This resonates so well, I had trouble putting my thoughts into words and this mirrors it so much.
So well written man, I fully agree with everything you said. You described precisely my experience
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Feb 18, 2015 02:28PM
This is exactly how I felt about the book - and now I feel like I don't need to write my own review. Thank you!
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You make some very good points. I enjoyed many parts of the book, but couldn't get on board with everything she had to say.
Yes! There were some gems but the writing was mostly irritating.
Welp, this review says it all. Only thing for me to add is that, as an atheist, there was also a lot of spiritual/divine talk that detracted from the experience for me, as well. Though she never speaks overtly of any one religious tradition, it's clear that her Christian upbringing influences her way of speaking, which made certain of her leaps in logic inaccessible to me. I stopped reading at the last chapter because it got a bit tedious to wade through.
I am usually on board with hooks and almost felt guilty for giving only 2 stars. I am in agreement with this review and Lindsay's sentiments as well. I was surprised by some of the more preachy undertones throughout the book. One stand out passage was in the chapter on greed. Here, she describes a president "seducing a young woman ...for the satisfaction of hedonistic pleasure," then goes on to talk about this same woman as "manipulating facts and details .... Prostituting herself for her story." I felt like I was listening to a sermon on sin and not reading a known scholar on feminist theory and thought.
Needless to say, she lost me with this book. I had a hard time finishing it.
Great review! I completely agree. I also had trouble keeping my head in it. My mind kept wandering uncontrollably! Made it hard for me to get through.
I agree this was a bizarre read. Sometimes like an algorithmic mashup of bell hooks and love. She doesn’t address the most beautiful thing about love which is that it evolved and exists and provides fundamental structure for our conscious experience.
Wow. I could not have said it better myself! Also agree with Lindsay.
Wow. I had a very different experience. I found it very insightful. Especially the parts about love being a choice and that it is a myth that we fall in love and don’t have a choice. I recently had that exact experience. I’m a lesbian and though bell is not I found so much truth in her words that resonate with me and my experiences. I really loved how she demystified love and destroys the fairytale that many of us still seek love from. It’s a hard read if you are not open to challenging your ideas about love. My mom is 64 I bought her a copy and she too has found the book very insightful. She’s still learning about love. Best of luck to you all.
Been reading this and got to the chapter on commitment and was curious about how she came up with the title because the chapter spoke mostly of self-love. A lot of anecdotal evidence for her theories and borrowing entire ideas from other authors. I’m going to finish it but I just thought it kind of strange. It’s my first Bell Hooks book though so I’m unfamiliar with her writing style.
Well. After reading several comments on this book I conclude that I don't need an author or anyone for that matter to incite their views of love mixed with a sermon and manipulation. Thanks, everyone!
I entirely agree! to see so many I people I know/follow who are also LGBT and anti-capitalists really liking this book definitely gave me high hopes, but a lot of the time white reading this, felt like this really wasn't written for people like me. Disappointing especially when there are definitely still useful parts in there.
I just finished this book and was trying to vocalize my frustration with it to my boyfriend..this review sums it up better than I could!
I am about halfway through and while I agree that there are some striking insights here, there is so much I’m finding problematic. The lens is totally heterosexist—and I’m a straight cis female. I’m also pretty disturbed by her harsh assessments of Nicole Simpson and Monica Lewinsky. They have me questioning whether I should just abandon the book.
Totally Kristen! I drew a little angry face in the book next to the bit about Monica Lewinsky, so horrible!
10000% ty for articulating so perfectly what I was struggling with, myself.
In many ways, I saw the discomfort as a positive. I think if we frame this book not as an authoritative guide on how to love, but rather as hooks states it, as a meditation, it prompts us to think critically and question the meaning for ourselves. If I was uncomfortable, I realized it was because it made me question something that I long held as a fundamental truth, and made me reconcile with that. Love that.
Meditating on love through her lens provides us with a tool to meditate on love through our lens. Hooks obviously did the job. Y’all are meditating and responding.
Thank you! You just saved me from reading this book. 🙏
Completely agree and well said! I felt this way reading it too.
maybe i missed it but i also found that even though the statement that "love and abuse cannot coexist" is powerful, she never provides us with a definition of abuse that would make this statement really helpful? she gives a few examples throughout the book (like spanking kids, etc) but even some of these aren't things that people would intuitively call "abuse" imo.
Wow, thank you for this comment! You articulated perfectly what I was thinking, but didn’t quite have the words for.
SAME! I am considering dnf'ing it bc it makes my brain heavy trying to separate the gold from the poop
The idea that love and abuse can't co-exist overlooks that fact that people are fallible. I don't condone abuse but I just can't agree with this.
I totally agree! I feel that some statements are out of reality, The reading was important at some points and pretty upseting at others.
hooks is breaking down social theory behind gender binary relationships derived from her experiences in mainly Black culture and heterosexual culture. Just because you don’t fit the phenotype or generation does not mean there are not valuable insights from what is an inherently gender critical view of relationships.
yup. and not just this, many of her books have the same issues. she couldn't forsee what capitalism and dystopia will do to the world few decades down the line. despite being on the same page with feminism and love, there's no groundbreaking discovery for a 20 year old me reading it in the year 2022. the work is a bit obsolete.
Same - I had to dig for the gems. It truly felt disjointed.
This is exactly what I would have written. I *wanted* to like this book so much.
One thing to note, Hooks's parents worked as a janitor and a maid, so I don't think it's fair to say that she doesn't have a grasp of what a working class life looks like.
yes yes yes !! I’m not even done with the book yet but I have noticed the aspect of barely acknowledging lgbtq+ relationships
Yes! I think I wrote a similar note in the margins of the page where she talked about having two homes. So unaware it was painful.
So, what’s an alternative read? Any recommendations?
Yes I never like rich people including writers and artists whose work we support on our blue collar salaries holding forth from their vacation homes about work and loving it. Yes the working classes have an intelligentsia from which you come professor hooks!
Yeah the two houses was so funny to me like what 😭
Wait, what's wrong with the phrase hedonistic pleasure
I really wanted to love this book but I fully agree with your review.
This is EXACTLY how I felt about this book
I think it’s totally ok for someone to talk about their two homes - she’s from a poor working class background and has worked hard for her money. Why shouldn’t she be able to share that? Not being able to share your achievements as a (Black) woman is also rooted in racism and sexism, so I was delighted that she talked about this so openly and matter of factly, as she should be allowed to.
+1 to Dina This reads more like a dissertation and I didn’t open it expecting to agree with everything, nor did I pick up this book expecting it to give me some life changing insight. It’s a critical thinking essay on the topic. If anything I think it encourages debate and critical thinking.
With that said I wasn’t Blown away by this books it’s not the alchemist for me, but it was an important read and I would recommend it to every soul who is willing to think critically on the topic.
yeah i’m ngl i was confused in the part where she mentioned work; like i thought it was going to go in an anti capitalist direction and it just was lacklustre ? but i did enjoy a lot of the book though and as you mentioned there are several gems that should be expended on
@Dina agree with you. Having two homes doesn’t mean she lives in a mansion…
Very much agree with this review. I wrote down some of the highlights, but there were some moments that felt pretentious
This resonates so well, I had trouble putting my thoughts into words and this mirrors it so much.
So well written man, I fully agree with everything you said. You described precisely my experience
