Blurb Help- Historical/mystery/drama > Likes and Comments

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message 1: by J.U. (new)

J.U. Scribe I'm getting ready to release my newest novel: "Domain of Power," in my "The Legend Series" and I'm working with a cover designer. The problem is I need to nail my sales blurb on the back cover. Below is the blurb I came up with. Any feedback or suggestions on the following blurb are greatly appreciated.

On the island of Aegea, danger lurks closer than anyone could imagine.

Prince Troy was just a teen with a promising future until a tragic accident changed everything. After a terrifying fall from a horse, his memories are lost, and so is his ability to walk. As his family and friends fight to help him recover, Troy is haunted by vivid dreams—dreams that hint at truths too dark to ignore.

What he doesn’t remember may be key to his survival. Someone tried to kill him, and they may be linked to the mysterious disappearance of his eldest brother, Barbarius. As Troy unravels the secrets hidden within his family, he discovers that no one can be trusted. Friendships fracture, alliances shift, and the truth behind the shadows of his past could destroy everything he holds dear.

A tale of betrayal, mystery, and survival unfolds in this gripping drama that will leave you questioning who can truly be trusted.


message 2: by Tony (new)

Tony Blenman Suggestion: The future looked promising for thirteen-year-old (?) Prince Troy until an accident changed his life forever. He fell from his (Steed, Gelding, Mare) and suffered memory loss and his ability to walk. As his family and friends fight to help him recover, Troy is haunted by vivid dreams of truths that are too dark to ignore.
The second paragraph looks good, but I think 'mysterious, hidden,' could be cut.
I hope this helps.


message 3: by J.U. (new)

J.U. Scribe Thanks for the feedback! Just to fill in the blanks, Troy is 15 years old, and his horse is named Sagrus. It looks like just a few lines need to be tweaked, which is helpful.


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