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Tysm!!!

Hey everyone I’m Liv! I thought I’d give a little background on myself and my situation :)

I have always (since I was a kid) had issues with extreme anxiety and over the past 2 years I have developed depression and ocd. I was in a really bad place a year ago and I tried to kms multiple times. No one knew what I was going through and I didn't tell anyone until MONTHS after. It was either me or my best friend who would stop me from actually going through with it. After I realized that maybe I did want to live and I kinda dug myself out of the hole a little bit I started to use SH as a way to feel pain. I felt like everything was my fault and it always felt like people hated me and wanted me to be gone. I have been over 100 days clean from SH now but all the time I still want to do what I used to do. It's been especially hard lately because after I told my parents that I tried to kms and that I needed help they freaked out and I feel like they look at me differently. They put me in therapy and I have been doing better since then but I have usually 2-5 panic attacks a day. My parents either dont care or dont notice that I am really stressed but they have been trying to pull me out of therapy even though it has obviously been helping me. They always talk about me like I’m a burden and lately I have been having a REALLY hard time loving myself and being around things that could harm myself.

So yeah, I thought it'd be nice to have some support on here for when I get pulled out of therapy.

Ilyasm I hope you are having a wonderful day <3

Liv {Matching with Jen! ⋅˚୨୧} wrote: "Hey everyone I’m Liv! I thought I’d give a little background on myself and my situation :)

I have always (since I was a kid) had issues with extreme anxiety and over the past 2 years I have devel..."

aww I’m so sorry you’ve been going through this, I had no idea it was that bad. I relate to a lot of that sm, and I completely know how you feel and how hard it is. Im so proud of you for how much you’ve accomplished and I hope things get better, ilysm and I’m always here for you 🫂🤍

Awww thank you all so so much it means so much that there are people here to support me 💕🫂

Overall mood: 4/10
Anxiety: 8/10
Last panic attack: an hour ago
Sh: 112 days I think…?
Something good: I get to read a ton
Something bad: my family and irl friends 😔

Today has been better than most days but I didn’t sleep last night 💔 so I’m really tired and one of my besties was telling me that she didn’t want to talk about my “issues” anymore and I really needed her help 😭 so I kinda feel unsupported rn ig but that’s when I had the panic attack 😔

heyy, have you tried really explaining to your parents how important therapy is and how much it helped you? Maybe you can convince them not to make you stop it

I’ve tried 💔 they just really think it’s not necessary and that I have them but I just can’t tell them everything cos sometimes they are the ones that hurt me

112 days is amazing, good job bby

Awww tysm Ava 🫂 it’s so hard to keep it but we’re here now so I can’t look back now 🥲

Awww tysm Amie 🫶🫶💕🤭

I actually do need advice: I have a REALLY hard time getting myself to drink water because I just feel like I don’t want to take care of myself 😔 do you guys have any tips on what helps to motivate me to drink water? It’s becoming an issue ever since I passed out and hit my head…

Liv {Matching with Jen! ⋅˚୨୧} wrote: "Overall mood: 4/10
Anxiety: 8/10
Last panic attack: an hour ago
Sh: 112 days I think…?
Something good: I get to read a ton
Something bad: my family and irl friends 😔

Today has been better than m..."

I’m really sorry about your anxiety <3 also your sh streak is amazing, im so proud of you!!

Liv {Matching with Jen! ⋅˚୨୧} wrote: "Awww tysm Amie 🫶🫶💕🤭

I actually do need advice: I have a REALLY hard time getting myself to drink water because I just feel like I don’t want to take care of myself 😔 do you guys have any tips on ..."


tbh same, I can go days without drinking and not realising. maybe get one of those rly big water bottles and make it your life's mission to finish one by the end of every day. I just force myself to drink even if I don't feel like it

@ophelia awwww tysm 💕🫶

@vitto that’s a really good idea I’m def gonna try that 🫶 I’m sorry you have the same issue it sucks 🫩

Liv {Matching with Jen! ⋅˚୨୧} wrote: "Awww tysm Amie 🫶🫶💕🤭

I actually do need advice: I have a REALLY hard time getting myself to drink water because I just feel like I don’t want to take care of myself 😔 do you guys have any tips on ..."


Yeah I’ve passed out before bc of not drinking water. It sucks :(
My advice though: get one of those cute sipping mugs like a Stanley cup and carry it around with you ALL DAY. I always found myself drinking tons of water bc there’s no better option :)
You SHOULD drink plenty of water it also helps with the panic attacks somehow for me.

@lia TYSM 😭🙏 ima do that!! I hope it works hehe 🤭

@ava tysm 🫂🫂💜

Overall mood: 6/10 it was actually a decent day
Anxiety: 7/10 rn (it was ok earlier)
Sh: 115 days (almost broke it yesterday 😔)
Something good: I re did my bio and my bestie and I got to talk a lot hehe
Something bad: my parents are fighting 🕳️🚶‍♀️

Today was good and I got to work on some songs I’ve been writing! I got to have a lot of time to just reflect and watch some of my favorite tv shows, read, write in my journal just live anxiety free! So I’m actually pretty happy but my parents are fighting over the STUPIDEST thing rn and it just makes me nervous yk? But overall I’m doing ok!!

Tysm Amie I’m so glad too this day was a nice refresher 🥹

Overall mood: 3/10 (been really depressed lately) 😔
Anxiety: 7/10
Sh: 1 (back at square 1 😁🔫)
Panic attack: today

I feel like this year was supposed to be my year but it just feels like a never ending loop of awfulness 🫩 like genuinely it’s getting to be too much 💔 maybe I’ll just go take a walk on the highway 😄 it’s fine though I won’t do anything even though I REALLY want to 🫩

It’s ok 😔 I got to over 100 days before I just gotta do it all over again

Overall mood: 5/10 meh ig
Anxiety 8/10 I’ve been so stressed out lately
Sh: 10 days clean urge 7/10
Panic attack: today about an hour ago
Song: Deeply Still in Love by ROLE MODEL
outfit: sweats and a fitted top with all my jewelry
Good thing abt today: I got to see my best friend
Worst thing abt today: starting to look at my college syllabus

I have just been SO stressed out lately and I haven’t been sleeping 🥺💔 I just don’t rly see the point anymore life feels pointless. I don’t really go anywhere or do anything lately unless it’s therapy and when I start college I won’t have time for anything 😭 sometimes I just want to give up on life nobody likes me anyways

Well I like you🫂
You’re very sweet and kind
Everyone feels like this at least once in their life and you know why? It’s because we’re human.
I feel like this a lot. But I keep pushing through 💜


If you need sleep/stress tips I’ll give you some.

And good job on your streak🥳

@ophie awwwww tysm 🫂 I would LOVE any tips you gave for me <3

Have*

Liv {Semi ia⋅˚୨୧} wrote: "@ophie awwwww tysm 🫂 I would LOVE any tips you have for me <3"

Ok for stress I recommend finding what I call a safe place. When I was under a lot of stress a few years back it was either my bed or my desk. Try to find things that make you happy. If you have a headset, turn on some of your favorite music. Preferably comforting to you (I used a combo of my favorite movie soundtracks, and some 1930s music, which I can link if you interested). Do calming activities, like drawing or doing puzzles or reading. Meditation can work sometimes. Venting emotions through creative writing is something I’d do with poetry. Just anything that makes you feel happy basically. Also you could use stress balls (not cheap ones tho; they pop and leave you more stressed) and sensory soothing things like that.


For sleeping, turn off all screens at least an hour before bed. No phones, no laptops, no TV, nothing. Your mind is constantly stimulated by screens and doesn’t have a chance to calm down before you sleep. Also again, calming activities. Reading before you sleep is actually proven to help you dream better. Also don’t drink things like coffee and soda or certain caffeinated beverages (this includes certain teas). Drink lots of water and maybe a cup of sleepy time tea (just a soothing herbal blend) or chamomile tea a couple hours before bed. Make your room as dark as possible, no nightlights or anything, and turn on white noise if you want. I use a fan. For the final thing I’ll recommend it’s going to sort of sound hypocritical. I said no screens but if you’re really struggling, turn on calming music on a low volume. By calming I mean like meditation music. I’m going to link some your channels for you.

This one is sleep tube: https://m.youtube.com/@SleepTube
They are full of great calming music before bed and also provide music to sleep to. No ads. I can link my favorites.

This one is Ambient Worlds: https://m.youtube.com/@AmbientWorlds
They make movie soundtrack mixes. Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, even lilo and stitch. Again I could link my favorites!

This one is Nemo’s Dreamscapes:https://m.youtube.com/@NemosDreamscapes
This one is Relax with Nemo’s Dreamscapes: https://m.youtube.com/@RelaxwithNemos...
It’s the same person. The first one is all music mixes from the 1920s-60s and are a great mood booster for stress or anxiety. They’re all “lost” or forgotten music. The Christmas and Halloween ones are the best in my opinion. The second one is more like asmr. Soothing train rides, calming music, etc.

Wait these are all amazing things tysm 😭🫶 I’m def going to try to use all of this 🫂

I hope it works
It’s everything I could think of🫂🫂🫂

Liv 🍒⋅˚୨୧ 💋 wrote: "Overall mood: 5/10 meh ig
Anxiety 8/10 I’ve been so stressed out lately
Sh: 10 days clean urge 7/10
Panic attack: today about an hour ago
Song: Deeply Still in Love by ROLE MODEL
outfit: sweat..."

I’m really sorry about your anxiety and sh urges 🫂 10 days is amazing btw good job! ilysm and I’m always here 🤍

@aves tysm ml 🫂🥹💕

🍒₊˚⊹𝐃𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐋𝐨𝐠 💋˙✧˖°

𝜗ৎ Overall Mood: 3/10 {I feel emotionally damaged to the point its past repair}
𝜗ৎ Anxiety: 8/10 {I just started college so I feel like my lungs might give out}
𝜗ৎ Sh: so far today I’ve been clean but last night I lost my streak again
𝜗ৎ Panic Attack: a couple mins ago {people keep asking why I take so many showers but honestly I just go take one during a panic attack cos it drowns out the sound and its kinda therapeutic to sit on the tile and nearly die 😃
𝜗ৎ Song: ALEXITHYMIA by NOAHFINNCE
𝜗ৎ Outfit: my plaid Lions pajama pants and a baggy tee shirt
𝜗ৎ Best thing abt today: I listened to my favorite song
𝜗ৎ Worst thing abt today: literally everything but what REALLY put it over the edge was when I fell down the stairs 😃💕

˚ ༘ ೀ 𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲🍓｡˚

Today has been ok so far but I just feel so numb and I want to feel something. I feel like I just need to feel pain or something just so I don’t feel so empty. My thoughts about kms have been literally so bad that atp I might just get it over with. I feel so hopeless all the time and it is just making the people around me feel bad as well. I literally just want to go for a walk in the middle of the highway. My family has been pushing me to fix my problems and sometimes it is nice to know they want me to get better but it can be too much sometimes. I can’t be alone for too long or they will think I kms so I have to be near them all the time now and that is so draining for me. I also don’t feel like I belong anywhere on this planet idk it's such a weird feeling. I also have not been eating because I just feel full all the time and I think it might have something to do with my previous eating disorder and it feels like I’m relapsing 😭 So now I always feel so hungry but so full at the same time and I hate it.

I’m really sorry about all of this. I honestly relate to it a lot, and you seriously don’t deserve it. ily sososo much, if you ever need to talk I’m always here 🤍🫂

also, I promise you’re absolutely perfect and beautiful and you don’t need to change anything about yourself, I know you won’t want to hear that but it’s true, ok? I promise.

@aves aww tysm 😭💕 it means so much 🫂

🍒₊˚⊹𝐃𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐋𝐨𝐠 💋˙✧˖°

𝜗ৎ Overall Mood: 3/10 {My parents are fighting and the tension makes me want to die}
𝜗ৎ Anxiety: 8/10 {I have an essay due and I just want out 😫🔫}
𝜗ৎ Sh: an hour clean
𝜗ৎ Panic Attack: an hour ago
𝜗ৎ Song: Family Line by Conan Gray
𝜗ৎ Outfit: pajama pants and a nike sweatshirt {and my Issac TeSLAA socks that actually make me so happy cos I laugh everytime I see his face on my feet 💀}
𝜗ৎ Best thing abt today: My winter formal is in a day so I have hope
𝜗ৎ Worst thing abt today: My parents are fighting and my anxiety is so bad I just want to leave the earth tyvm

˚ ༘ ೀ 𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲🍓｡˚

Today is not quite as good as I would’ve hoped but yk what are you gonna do 😭 I sh’ed last night and so I spent half the night cleaning the cuts 😭🔫 now my abdomen hurts cos I c*t a little too much. It just felt so good to be able to feel something again. I have an essay due for college so I am REALLY stressed about that rn and I only have today to finish it and I have no motivation and I can never stay focused. My mom is leaving for somewhere today and I haven't seen my dad today and my mom at least seems so off today and I don’t even want to go downstairs to get more food. I have been trying to drown everything out with music but I just keep coming back to the fact that it could all be over in one moment. I alr have all the letters and messages ready. Everyone makes me so guilty for wanting to not exist and yesterday someone told me that I was a bad person because of it so now I feel like I’m just a bad person. I wish that for one day I could just not pretend anymore and I could just let it all out and have someone there to help me but they all see it as something that they can’t help with cos it's so much. I just need help and no one thinks that they can help me. I feel like a burden 24/7 and going to therapy is so hard because my parents always bring up how much it is so I can’t even spend my 1hr talking about my actual issues but I talk to her about how my parents are freaking me out with the money thing. So I stopped going and I don’t even know if I’ll pick up once I get money. I just don’t know what to do. I feel so alone. I feel like no one even wants to try anymore. My parents refuse to believe that I am actually hurting and they just tell me I’m attention seeking so I don’t show anything on my face now and they keep telling me to stop acting like a robot but I don’t know what they want me to do because they don’t like either of those parts of me. I haven't been sleeping because I keep seeing things like I did a year ago and I always hear this random person telling me I’m not good enough and that the world would stop hurting so much if I wasn’t here anymore. I got maybe 2 hrs of sleep and I look awful and people make sure to let me know. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I really wanna d*e.

Liv 🍒⋅˚୨୧ 💋 wrote: "🍒₊˚⊹𝐃𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐋𝐨𝐠 💋˙✧˖°

𝜗ৎ Overall Mood: 3/10 {My parents are fighting and the tension makes me want to die}
𝜗ৎ Anxiety: 8/10 {I have an essay due and I just want out 😫🔫}
𝜗ৎ Sh: an hour clean
𝜗ৎ Panic..."

ml. you're doing great. please don't d*e. im always here for you. I love you so so so much.

Awwwww ty 🥹🫂 I just feel so hopeless all the time and it’s so hard to keep pushing forward 🥺💔

Oh luv. I’m sorry. I know you can keep going tho lovie

Liv 🍒⋅˚୨୧ 💋 wrote: "Awwwww ty 🥹🫂 I just feel so hopeless all the time and it’s so hard to keep pushing forward 🥺💔"


I believe in you!💜💜💜💜

Ty guys!

Liv 🍒⋅˚୨୧ 💋 wrote: "🍒₊˚⊹𝐃𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐋𝐨𝐠 💋˙✧˖°

𝜗ৎ Overall Mood: 3/10 {My parents are fighting and the tension makes me want to die}
𝜗ৎ Anxiety: 8/10 {I have an essay due and I just want out 😫🔫}
𝜗ৎ Sh: an hour clean
𝜗ৎ Panic..."

aww I’m so sorry, I’m always here for you 🤍

@aves Ty ml 💕💋

🍒₊˚⊹𝐃𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐋𝐨𝐠 💋˙✧˖°

𝜗ৎ Overall Mood: 5/10
𝜗ৎ Anxiety: 5/10
𝜗ৎ Sh: a day
𝜗ৎ Panic Attack: yesterday
𝜗ৎ Song: Aperture by Harry Styles
𝜗ৎ Outfit: a formal red dress and jewelry for a dance
𝜗ৎ Best thing abt today: My dance
𝜗ৎ Worst thing abt today: I just feel weird and my ex bff I rly needed her to help me but she wouldn't text back and she was the only one I could go to

˚ ༘ ೀ 𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲🍓｡˚

Today I have a winter formal I’m going to so I’m excited for that! But also I am really mad at my ex bff because I needed to get out of the house and I was freaking out and she's closest to me so I asked if she could help me and she never responded and I KNOW she saw it 😭🔫 So now I rly want to send her a mean message but ik I’ll regret it but I just feel like shit about the whole situation and I just wish she could fucking grow uo. Idk I’m feeling fine today but I know tn I’m just gonna want to kms again 😃

I'm so proud of ur streaks ml, also I love Harry style's new song dude. Ew I hate ex bff's dude. I hope the dance is fun tho, ik you look so baddie and gorgina.

woah that prob made no sense

Awww tysm 🫂 YES ITS SO GOOD 🥹💕 Ik I didn’t want to text her AT ALL but I needed help and then I didn’t get it 😔🔫 awwww thanks!! I hope I look decent lmao

u look so gorg queen, i can sense it dude 🥹💙

Awwww tysm ml 🥹🫂

🍒₊˚⊹𝐃𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐋𝐨𝐠 💋˙✧˖°

𝜗ৎ Overall Mood: 6/10
𝜗ৎ Anxiety: 5/10 {not horrible today but still very there}
𝜗ৎ Sh: 4 days {I rly want to tho..}
𝜗ৎ Panic Attack: 2 days ago
𝜗ৎ Song: Casual by Chappel Roan
𝜗ৎ Outfit: Leggings, sweatshirt and scrunch socks with my uggs
𝜗ৎ Best thing abt today: I got to go to Target
𝜗ৎ Worst thing abt today: my dad kept yelling at me cos the tv wasn’t working 🥰💔

˚ ༘ ೀ 𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲🍓｡˚

It wasn’t an awful day which is SO SCARY cos like… now I feel like some boulder is gonna fall from the sky and hit me… would that be the worst thing ever…? Not at all. Idk what to think honestly I got 2 books and some cute pants at target and I got to eat gummy worms what more can I ask for 💀 my sister likes to say I need to go to GWA (gummy worms anonymous) meetings 😋 but I am NOT excited to go to this new church tmr… I don’t like it there all the people are so weird and stare at you when you walk in send help 😭🙏 and lwk I rly miss Amie 😔💔 but I need to NOT worry abt the future. I have a whole night to do wtv tf I want 🤭