the thread: No More Ugly Girls by Thomas Cannon > Likes and Comments

Welcome Thomas Cannon. We are excited to begin the discussion of your book No More Ugly Girls.

In what ways does the novel suggest that unresolved childhood trauma can silently influence adult relationships and decision-making?

How does the author explore the tension between the desire for stability as a parent and the emotional instability caused by past wounds?

What does Auburn’s struggle with trust reveal about the long-term psychological effects of infidelity and emotional betrayal?

How is the concept of self-worth challenged and reconstructed throughout Auburn’s journey?

What role does fear play in preventing Auburn from accepting genuine love and emotional safety?

How does the relationship between Auburn and Chad reflect the complexity of healing versus emotional risk?

What does Auburn’s internal dialogue about herself reveal about the connection between identity and trauma?

How does the narrative portray the process of confronting the past as a necessary step toward emotional freedom?

What central message do you believe the author is conveying about healing, self-perception, and the possibility of change after trauma?

How does Auburn Halverson’s experience with betrayal serve as a catalyst for both regression and transformation in her life?

Wow. These are great questions. I want to delve in. I am excited. truth be told, every day my email is jammed with invitations to talk about No More Ugly Girls and I was sure that this was another scam.

I began writing this book as a way of honoring the struggle many women I knew. Life taught them to keep their pain inside and never reveal it.

A lot of things have changed since I began this story. Now I worry that I am not the one to tell this story. I feel like I am mansplaining.
However, I needed to tell the story.

Someone recently bought the book and I told her that I am not misogynistic as the title may suggest. She replied, "I'll be the judge of that." And that sounded right!

Rita wrote: "How does Auburn Halverson’s experience with betrayal serve as a catalyst for both regression and transformation in her life?"

That's a great question. For me, we are all stuck in our cycles of mistakes and poor choices. She has been through betrayal before so she thinks she can handle it. Its subtle, but for Auburn, the act of buying her own kitchen table has shown her that she can strive for what she wants.

Ella wrote: "What role does fear play in preventing Auburn from accepting genuine love and emotional safety?"

This questions made me think of Auburn and Chad in a new way. She has many fears. That she is damaged. That he will get to to know the real Auburn and reject her. So she finds accepting his love difficult because she needs to heal.

Isabella wrote: "How does the narrative portray the process of confronting the past as a necessary step toward emotional freedom?"
I would love to hear people's thoughts!

Gracie wrote: "What does Auburn’s internal dialogue about herself reveal about the connection between identity and trauma?"

I'd love to hear other people's thoughts. This is what I know trauma and I think it pertains to Auburn (though I didn't learn of this until after the story was written)- Most of our thinking is subconscious. As we grow up, we discover patterns of thoughts and behaviors that our brain considers efficient. It then creates scripts for us to follow. For me, something in childhood told me to withdraw. It works because if I wanted to avoid conflict, that worked for me. It may not be the good choice, but it is the efficient one.

Lara wrote: "What central message do you believe the author is conveying about healing, self-perception, and the possibility of change after trauma?"

I have a lot to say about this topic! Change is always possible and it helps to put down the burden of trauma. I also believe that it is less of a change, but rather getting rid of what is not you and finding the true you.

Kathrin wrote: "Welcome Thomas Cannon. We are excited to begin the discussion of your book No More Ugly Girls."

Kathrin wrote: "Welcome Thomas Cannon. We are excited to begin the discussion of your book No More Ugly Girls."

Thank you Kathrin, for this oportunity.

Recently I came across this article on Substack from a site called doctor unbound.

It tells the story of a woman coming back again and again to a doctor for a pain in her finger. Finally the doctor finds a shard of glass. This is the point of the story-
“The body had spent three months trying to wall off a foreign object.
But despite the happy outcome, the encounter had unsettled me. By the end of day, I understood why. People do a remarkably similar thing with emotional injuries.
We feel the callus, not the glass.
A patient comes in describing anxiety. Panic attacks. Insomnia. Emotional volatility. Exhaustion. Relationship problems. Chronic hypervigilance. Depression that never entirely lifts.”

This is what No More Ugly Girls is about.

I have a line in Mo More Ugly Girls:

she would have gone over and reassured him no matter how she really felt. But she couldn’t give anymore.

I wrote this because I have heard women express this feeling of having to put others needs above their own. The need to swallow their own pain to make someone else feel better. And to keep the peace.

I think that our culture engrains this in women.

However, one caveat. That many men do this as well.

Do we all get to a point where we have to stop putting others' needs above our own?

In No More Ugly Girls, I explore why people choose to stick with the pain they know instead of trying for a better life. Yes it is the fear of the unknown, but also what we do over and over again becomes our habits and habits determine our lives.

The why we do them also needs to be dealt with.

We all have scripts we follow. Perhaps we can call them protocols. They are in our subconscious mind. Created for efficiency. When that happens, I did this and so I should say and do it any time I’m faced with a situation.

They can be adaptive or maladaptive. The maladaptive ones get the job done, but in a negative way.

For example, a person could stay thin by eating healthy. However, some people stay thin by smoking. It also gets the job done, but in a harmful way.

How do we change these scripts? By accessing our subconscious. Therapy is great.

For me, I do it by writing. Writing puts your thoughts down on paper, even those subconscious thoughts.

Ella wrote: "What role does fear play in preventing Auburn from accepting genuine love and emotional safety?"


My friend G. Anthony and I recorded our first podcast episode.
We discussed a poem by Miriam Barbham in her book a thousand apologies to me.
“She has a line:
Exposed I feel raw
In the real light all around me
I try to adjust to the new society.”

G. came up with an analogy of a deer coming into a safe meadow, but still being on high alert. Still in fight or flight mode.
Now imagine another animal that has always lived in the meadow. They would ask the deer why are you acting like that. They can’t see that the deer can’t trust yet.
Because the body remembers trauma if you do not get heal from it.

This was such a great analogy, and it made me see my novel No More Ugly Girls in a new light. I wrote it because I saw a strength in many women that allowed them to carry trauma with them throughout life. Yet it impacted them. They often were judged for the choices that they make.
My main character Auburn makes the choice to try and stay with a cheating boyfriend. Even as a caring guy expresses his love for her.
To me she does that because she has been strong too long.
Some people don’t understand why she would make this choice. They do not understand why I would write such a story.
But I wanted to. Because I people do (men and women) and I wanted to explore why.
I think G. analogy explains why.
Auburn has experienced trauma. She tries to pretend it isn’t there. But the body remembers trauma. It is in survival mode. This puts her in a frame of mind where she clings to the safety of what she knows.
In Brabham’s poem, she has another stanza:
I trade my health
For not being alone.

That is what Auburn is doing. And why can’t she choose to be with a guy that will not cheat on her. Because he is the safe meadow. She is in survival mode and can’t trust safety.
It feels foreign. It is different which feels like danger.
We all run from that kind of danger.