Beta feedback on blurb > Likes and Comments

Would appreciate feedback on this blurb for new novel Skin

Raphael Lennon, thought dead after committing terrorist acts against The Eliot Group, an alliance of AI firms, has hidden in the California Sierra for four years. If found alive, the Group will “skin him and bury the quivering flesh in a coffin of salt.” When his soulmate Addy leaves camp to buy supplies but doesn't return, Raphael abandons caution and sets out to find her.

Raphael soon encounters the disturbing world that the Group has created. Using fungi as a neural substitute, Eliot has revived dead individuals as mobile cyborgs. But the newly minted humanoids suffer from the inability to dream, leading to comas after a few weeks of human-like activities. The unconscious cyborgs are stored in Dream Minus cities.

At a slave-labor fungi farm, where prisoners cultivate the mushrooms used to create the cyborg brains, Raphael learns that Eliot has taken Addy to the Project, a structure in the Sequoia National Forest. In the Project, Eliot works to instill dreams in the humanoids through the tortuous extraction of existing dreams in humans. Raphael must expose his own identity and offer up his life to save Addy from the terrifying dream of reality.

So, right away, I'm noticing this is very dense with details. I'd suggest trimming down as many proper nouns and explanations as possible, and cutting to the core of the story.
My suggestions.
Cut out where the cyborgs are stored. It doesn't affect understanding of the rest. Similarly, cut the fungi farm, and simply say, for example, "When Raphael learns that Eliot has taken Addy..." The book can tell us where he learned it, and while a cool worldbuilding detail, it isn't strictly relevant to the central plot. That fungi is used for cyborg brains is already mentioned above anyway. You could also say "mines dreams from humans" insead of "torturous extraction of existing dreams in humans" as that's a vivid, easily understandable image in fewer words. And "are unable to dream" is more concise than "suffer from the inability to dream."

Btw, I've found qtCritique to be a fantastic way to get feedback on things like blurbs, queries, or synopses.
Congrats on a new novel! Are you self-publishing or going trad?

Thanks so much, A.R. Excellent points. I'll tone down the language. I'm not sure which way I'll publish. Alex

Here's the blurb incorporating your comments, A.R. I checked out qt, which is similar to a site I do use, Scribophile.

Raphael Lennon, thought dead after committing terrorist acts against The Eliot Group, an alliance of AI firms, has hidden in the California Sierra for four years. If found alive, the Group will “skin him and bury the quivering flesh in a coffin of salt.” When his soulmate Addy leaves camp to buy supplies but doesn't return, Raphael sets out to find her.

Raphael soon encounters the disturbing world that the Group has created. Using fungi as a neural substitute, Eliot has revived dead individuals as mobile cyborgs. But the newly minted humanoids can’t dream, leading to comas after a few weeks of human-like activities.

Raphael learns that Eliot has taken Addy to the Project, a structure in the Sequoia National Forest. In the Project, Eliot works to instill dreams in the humanoids by mining human brains. Raphael must expose his own identity and offer up his life to save Addy from this nightmare.