Sean’s review of Allen Carr's Quit Drinking Without Willpower: Be a happy nondrinker (Allen Carr's Easyway, 2) > Likes and Comments
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Jason wrote: "Good review, but I assume this could only work for nonalcoholics. I haven't had a drink in 22 years, and still the idea that someone could nurse a drink for an hour and a half and throw half of it ..."
Thanks, Pierce!
The book is certainly written with alcoholics in mind; as to how effective one struggling with severe alcoholism would find Carr's Easyway method, I cannot say. In his view, any degree of drinking -- be it occasional (that is, sporadic or semiregular), habitual (meaning regular), problematic (excessive but manageable), or addictive (excessive and out of control) -- is all a case of being caught in what he describes as the "alcohol trap." Addiction, he argues, isn't a weakness, merely the result of cultural conditioning that can be deprogrammed.
By that he means even those of us who "happily" drink in moderation have still nonetheless been brainwashed into believing we derive pleasure from alcohol. What he demonstrates, chapter by chapter, is that the "pleasure" we think we get from booze is in fact relief from the physical symptoms of alcohol withdrawal.
In other words: We drink to feel the way nondrinkers feel all the time. We seek relief from alcohol in alcohol -- in the very thing that's causing the problem. He then explains that in order to permanently quash cravings for booze, we must differentiate between what he calls the "Big Monster" and the "Little Monster" and recognize the function of each in hindering our escape from the alcohol trap.
The Little Monster is the physical craving for a drink. That's the thing AA compels us to confront. What Carr says is that programs like AA lead us to understand the "silver bullet" to kicking addiction is willpower -- learning to live without satisfying the Little Monster's relentless nagging. They never address the Big Monster -- which is the key to getting sober.
The Big Monster is the cultural conditioning that taught us in the first place that alcohol provides pleasure and/or support -- the fallacy that invited the Little Monster into our life. So, when the Little Monster starts nagging, we interpret that as I could use a drink! But all we're doing by taking that drink is relieving the symptoms of withdrawal; we are not actually receiving any pleasure or support from the booze itself.
By facing the Big Monster -- the lie we were sold that alcohol is pleasurable and/or supportive -- we now understand both how to resist the Little Monster and why we should. You kill the Big Monster by "calling it out" -- like the way Heather Langenkamp realizes Freddy Krueger gets all his power from the fear he instills, so she makes the conscious choice to no longer be afraid of him -- and then after you take your last drink, you "starve" the Little Monster of the relief it wants. Any final withdrawal symptoms -- alcoholic cravings -- are simply the Little Monster in his death throes; instead of satisfying him, we take satisfaction in watching him shrivel up and die.
Nancy didn't need "willpower" to confront and kill Freddy; the epiphany that she had the power at any time to banish him was enough to reassert control of her life again. That's not a perfect analogy for alcohol use, but I think it conveys how this book attempts to frame the habit. By recognizing that we were brainwashed -- that alcoholism has nothing to do with weakness of character -- we are empowered to quit drinking through the one-time action of deprogramming rather than the lifelong effort of exercising willpower.
Carr explains all this more eloquently, thoroughly, and persuasively, but all I can say is that this book effectively flicked off the "alcohol switch" in my brain. I never, ever thought -- not in a million years -- that you could go from being a habitual drinker to a nondrinker overnight, without any second-guessing. I can't say this program will work for everyone... but it sure as hell worked for me. It might help that it was the right message and the right moment -- when the student is ready, the teacher will appear, as they say -- but however it worked, I'm grateful to have discovered this resource and glad to be able to share it with others. For me, it feels like I'm embarking on a brand-new chapter -- one whereby booze will no longer be a tax on my money, time, and attention. Cheers to that!
Sean wrote: "Thanks, Pierce!
The book is certainly written with alcoholics in mind; as to how effective one struggling with severe alcoholism would find Carr's Easyway method, I cannot say..."
I love it when great ironies smack me in the face. I just finished my Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin review last night, and in it I say how I rarely argue about anything anymore, or don't get decisively engaged, and that's mostly true. Then less than 24 hours later I see something I'm just aching to pick apart, and I could fill up ten review spaces doing it. It's not your last comment, it's what you say the book says. But I can address your first sentence ("how effective one struggling with severe alcoholism would find Carr's Easyway method, I cannot say.") I can say. For an alcoholic of that caliber, this is useless, and I'll leave it at that. (Like I said, at least ten review spaces if I get started.)
There is, however, one thing I will address because it is 100% wrong. (This isn't opinion; it's fact.) I don't know if it was a typo or confusion on your part, or if Carr really said it just this way. "What Carr says is that programs like AA lead us to understand the 'silver bullet' to kicking addiction is willpower." I don't know if he's never read any of the AA literature, or what, but that is the complete opposite of what AA says. It's something I've researched extensively, and there are several places where they say willpower is no good. Here's one quote: "We had been told that so far as alcohol is concerned, self-confidence was no good whatever; in fact, it was a total liability. Our sponsors declared that we were the victims of a mental obsession so subtly powerful that no amount of human willpower could break it." Whether or not AA is right about that can be argued, but saying they say willpower can keep you sober can't. There are many other examples where that sentiment is expressly stated and dozens of examples in the personal stories where it's shown. In fact, I challenge anyone to find anything in the AA literature that says one can use willpower to control or stop his drinking. I don't think such a passage exists, though I could be wrong. Regardless, even if it does exists, it can be countered with several quotes that would flat out refute it.
All that being said, I think the last paragraph in your last comment is awesome, and I can't tell you how glad I am this book was able to help you and apparently others as well. That makes its existence worth it even if it couldn't work for me or several other people I know. Take what you can use, and leave the rest, you know? I just get miffed when an author or program or whatever says "it must be done this way; you don't need those other things." First off, the arrogance of such a statement... You'll find plenty of AA people who make that argument because people are people, but the program itself doesn't make that claim. Another AA literature quote from a foreword: "In all probability, we shall never be able to touch more than a fair fraction of the alcohol problem in all its ramifications. Upon therapy for the alcoholic himself, we surely have no monopoly." People have used it to get sober, but treatment centers and other programs have worked for others. If someone has found something that works for them, then hell, roll with it.
Jason wrote: "Sean wrote: "Thanks, Pierce!
The book is certainly written with alcoholics in mind; as to how effective one struggling with severe alcoholism would find Carr's Easyway method, I cannot say..."
I ..."
The "silver bullet" bit is paraphrasing on my part -- an admittedly reductive summary of what Carr says. That one's on me, not him. The tone of Quit Drinking Without Willpower isn't so much My Way Is the Only Way as it is And Now for Something Completely Different...
Examining old things from new perspectives is just something to which I have historically responded favorably and actionably. For instance, I majored in creative writing in college, yet never really understood how to tell a story. I took all the courses and read all the how-to books and yet the craft of writing itself remained this mystical art that couldn't be taught or learned -- you just either knew intuitively how to do it or not.
Then, in my late twenties, I took a weekend-long writing workshop with the author of Creating Emotion in Games: The Craft and Art of Emotioneering, who utterly demystified the writing process by offering a vast toolbox of techniques for creating dimensional characters, establishing empathy for those characters, executing transformational arcs, writing character-specific dialogue with subtext, etc. His insights weren't anything I'd ever heard before! I learned more in that weekend than I did from every other class I'd taken and book I'd read combined. It didn't just affect how I write; it was one of those perception-altering moments that shifted my very worldview forever.
I had similar this-changes-everything epiphanies when I read Present Shock: When Everything Happens Now (with particular respect to Douglas Rushkoff's observations on the collapse of linear narrativity); when Al Gore introduced me to the concept of moral imagination (which fundamentally changed what I write about); when I was exposed to minimalism through the work of Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus (which didn't merely lead to a decluttered home; it gave me the tools to evaluate whether a given action/endeavor/relationship/etc. is worth the money, time, and/or attention it demands from me). Quit Drinking Without Willpower had that kind of effect on me. It was very much a lightbulb moment.
Managing addiction is, I imagine, not dissimilar to producing art: The only "right" way to do it is the way that works for you. As a writer, I've entertained many debates over the years about which storytelling programs are or aren't worthwhile -- and I certainly have my opinions on that -- but it all ultimately comes down to whatever facilitates your creativity. No two artists adhere to precisely the same methodology.
Similarly, whatever method supports an addict's sobriety is by its very nature worthwhile, whether it's this one or that one or a customized hybrid. I've known alcoholics of all stripes: those that got (and stayed) sober through rehab; those that got (and stayed) sober through AA; those that got (and stayed) sober through solitary self-discipline; those that tried (by whatever means) and failed to get sober; those that never sought help or ever stopped drinking. I've had personal relationships with 'em all. I absolutely appreciate the strength it takes to overcome addiction, however it's done.
That said, I don't imagine anyone suffering from severe AUD is going to turn their life around with a single resource, no matter how helpful they may find it. In those instances, recovery from the physical symptoms of withdrawal should be supervised by an MD, and the psychological dependency -- invariably motivated by an underlying trauma -- should absolutely be addressed and treated by an experienced therapist. Mindset-repositioning alone isn't going to do the trick, I concede.
In my case, it probably helped that A) I wasn't a chronic drinker and B) I've already spent the past many years conducting the self-reflection required to better understand one's (often self-defeating or self-destructive) behaviors. And I was ready to quit drinking for reasons that had nothing to do with dependency, merely a desire to move on from a habit that was increasingly causing physical discomfort. (In other words: It was no longer worth the time, money, and attention I was investing in it.) So, I was happenstantially receptive to the mindset shift the book propounds.
The audience for whom I think this book could be really helpful, frankly, would be (give or take) college-age kids -- those only just developing a taste for booze. I think Carr's lessons might help young people understand that habitual alcohol usage, though culturally accepted (and even encouraged), probably has more drawbacks then benefits in the long run, so why even start.
I'm not saying there isn't a time/place for alcohol consumption -- I'm no teetotaler (I haven't said I won't drink again, merely that I currently have no desire to) and don't presume to insist that from others -- but I think as someone who grew up in a culture of hard drinkers (I spent half my childhood in the bars along Broadway with my late father), intellectually appreciating that culture as Carr contextualizes it -- as something conditioned, not foreordained -- might have inspired me to make different choices in my younger days.
Or maybe not! Who knows. I guess it's just nice to get to fifty years old and know it's never too late to see new perspectives, learn new things, adopt new habits, master new disciplines. Epiphanies don't come around very often -- they wouldn't be called epiphanies if they did, merely thoughts -- and this book provided one. For that, I am grateful.
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Jason wrote: "Good review, but I assume this could only work for nonalcoholics. I haven't had a drink in 22 years, and still the idea that someone could nurse a drink for an hour and a half and throw half of it ..."Thanks, Pierce!
The book is certainly written with alcoholics in mind; as to how effective one struggling with severe alcoholism would find Carr's Easyway method, I cannot say. In his view, any degree of drinking -- be it occasional (that is, sporadic or semiregular), habitual (meaning regular), problematic (excessive but manageable), or addictive (excessive and out of control) -- is all a case of being caught in what he describes as the "alcohol trap." Addiction, he argues, isn't a weakness, merely the result of cultural conditioning that can be deprogrammed.
By that he means even those of us who "happily" drink in moderation have still nonetheless been brainwashed into believing we derive pleasure from alcohol. What he demonstrates, chapter by chapter, is that the "pleasure" we think we get from booze is in fact relief from the physical symptoms of alcohol withdrawal.
In other words: We drink to feel the way nondrinkers feel all the time. We seek relief from alcohol in alcohol -- in the very thing that's causing the problem. He then explains that in order to permanently quash cravings for booze, we must differentiate between what he calls the "Big Monster" and the "Little Monster" and recognize the function of each in hindering our escape from the alcohol trap.
The Little Monster is the physical craving for a drink. That's the thing AA compels us to confront. What Carr says is that programs like AA lead us to understand the "silver bullet" to kicking addiction is willpower -- learning to live without satisfying the Little Monster's relentless nagging. They never address the Big Monster -- which is the key to getting sober.
The Big Monster is the cultural conditioning that taught us in the first place that alcohol provides pleasure and/or support -- the fallacy that invited the Little Monster into our life. So, when the Little Monster starts nagging, we interpret that as I could use a drink! But all we're doing by taking that drink is relieving the symptoms of withdrawal; we are not actually receiving any pleasure or support from the booze itself.
By facing the Big Monster -- the lie we were sold that alcohol is pleasurable and/or supportive -- we now understand both how to resist the Little Monster and why we should. You kill the Big Monster by "calling it out" -- like the way Heather Langenkamp realizes Freddy Krueger gets all his power from the fear he instills, so she makes the conscious choice to no longer be afraid of him -- and then after you take your last drink, you "starve" the Little Monster of the relief it wants. Any final withdrawal symptoms -- alcoholic cravings -- are simply the Little Monster in his death throes; instead of satisfying him, we take satisfaction in watching him shrivel up and die.
Nancy didn't need "willpower" to confront and kill Freddy; the epiphany that she had the power at any time to banish him was enough to reassert control of her life again. That's not a perfect analogy for alcohol use, but I think it conveys how this book attempts to frame the habit. By recognizing that we were brainwashed -- that alcoholism has nothing to do with weakness of character -- we are empowered to quit drinking through the one-time action of deprogramming rather than the lifelong effort of exercising willpower.
Carr explains all this more eloquently, thoroughly, and persuasively, but all I can say is that this book effectively flicked off the "alcohol switch" in my brain. I never, ever thought -- not in a million years -- that you could go from being a habitual drinker to a nondrinker overnight, without any second-guessing. I can't say this program will work for everyone... but it sure as hell worked for me. It might help that it was the right message and the right moment -- when the student is ready, the teacher will appear, as they say -- but however it worked, I'm grateful to have discovered this resource and glad to be able to share it with others. For me, it feels like I'm embarking on a brand-new chapter -- one whereby booze will no longer be a tax on my money, time, and attention. Cheers to that!
Sean wrote: "Thanks, Pierce!The book is certainly written with alcoholics in mind; as to how effective one struggling with severe alcoholism would find Carr's Easyway method, I cannot say..."
I love it when great ironies smack me in the face. I just finished my Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin review last night, and in it I say how I rarely argue about anything anymore, or don't get decisively engaged, and that's mostly true. Then less than 24 hours later I see something I'm just aching to pick apart, and I could fill up ten review spaces doing it. It's not your last comment, it's what you say the book says. But I can address your first sentence ("how effective one struggling with severe alcoholism would find Carr's Easyway method, I cannot say.") I can say. For an alcoholic of that caliber, this is useless, and I'll leave it at that. (Like I said, at least ten review spaces if I get started.)
There is, however, one thing I will address because it is 100% wrong. (This isn't opinion; it's fact.) I don't know if it was a typo or confusion on your part, or if Carr really said it just this way. "What Carr says is that programs like AA lead us to understand the 'silver bullet' to kicking addiction is willpower." I don't know if he's never read any of the AA literature, or what, but that is the complete opposite of what AA says. It's something I've researched extensively, and there are several places where they say willpower is no good. Here's one quote: "We had been told that so far as alcohol is concerned, self-confidence was no good whatever; in fact, it was a total liability. Our sponsors declared that we were the victims of a mental obsession so subtly powerful that no amount of human willpower could break it." Whether or not AA is right about that can be argued, but saying they say willpower can keep you sober can't. There are many other examples where that sentiment is expressly stated and dozens of examples in the personal stories where it's shown. In fact, I challenge anyone to find anything in the AA literature that says one can use willpower to control or stop his drinking. I don't think such a passage exists, though I could be wrong. Regardless, even if it does exists, it can be countered with several quotes that would flat out refute it.
All that being said, I think the last paragraph in your last comment is awesome, and I can't tell you how glad I am this book was able to help you and apparently others as well. That makes its existence worth it even if it couldn't work for me or several other people I know. Take what you can use, and leave the rest, you know? I just get miffed when an author or program or whatever says "it must be done this way; you don't need those other things." First off, the arrogance of such a statement... You'll find plenty of AA people who make that argument because people are people, but the program itself doesn't make that claim. Another AA literature quote from a foreword: "In all probability, we shall never be able to touch more than a fair fraction of the alcohol problem in all its ramifications. Upon therapy for the alcoholic himself, we surely have no monopoly." People have used it to get sober, but treatment centers and other programs have worked for others. If someone has found something that works for them, then hell, roll with it.
Jason wrote: "Sean wrote: "Thanks, Pierce!The book is certainly written with alcoholics in mind; as to how effective one struggling with severe alcoholism would find Carr's Easyway method, I cannot say..."
I ..."
The "silver bullet" bit is paraphrasing on my part -- an admittedly reductive summary of what Carr says. That one's on me, not him. The tone of Quit Drinking Without Willpower isn't so much My Way Is the Only Way as it is And Now for Something Completely Different...
Examining old things from new perspectives is just something to which I have historically responded favorably and actionably. For instance, I majored in creative writing in college, yet never really understood how to tell a story. I took all the courses and read all the how-to books and yet the craft of writing itself remained this mystical art that couldn't be taught or learned -- you just either knew intuitively how to do it or not.
Then, in my late twenties, I took a weekend-long writing workshop with the author of Creating Emotion in Games: The Craft and Art of Emotioneering, who utterly demystified the writing process by offering a vast toolbox of techniques for creating dimensional characters, establishing empathy for those characters, executing transformational arcs, writing character-specific dialogue with subtext, etc. His insights weren't anything I'd ever heard before! I learned more in that weekend than I did from every other class I'd taken and book I'd read combined. It didn't just affect how I write; it was one of those perception-altering moments that shifted my very worldview forever.
I had similar this-changes-everything epiphanies when I read Present Shock: When Everything Happens Now (with particular respect to Douglas Rushkoff's observations on the collapse of linear narrativity); when Al Gore introduced me to the concept of moral imagination (which fundamentally changed what I write about); when I was exposed to minimalism through the work of Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus (which didn't merely lead to a decluttered home; it gave me the tools to evaluate whether a given action/endeavor/relationship/etc. is worth the money, time, and/or attention it demands from me). Quit Drinking Without Willpower had that kind of effect on me. It was very much a lightbulb moment.
Managing addiction is, I imagine, not dissimilar to producing art: The only "right" way to do it is the way that works for you. As a writer, I've entertained many debates over the years about which storytelling programs are or aren't worthwhile -- and I certainly have my opinions on that -- but it all ultimately comes down to whatever facilitates your creativity. No two artists adhere to precisely the same methodology.
Similarly, whatever method supports an addict's sobriety is by its very nature worthwhile, whether it's this one or that one or a customized hybrid. I've known alcoholics of all stripes: those that got (and stayed) sober through rehab; those that got (and stayed) sober through AA; those that got (and stayed) sober through solitary self-discipline; those that tried (by whatever means) and failed to get sober; those that never sought help or ever stopped drinking. I've had personal relationships with 'em all. I absolutely appreciate the strength it takes to overcome addiction, however it's done.
That said, I don't imagine anyone suffering from severe AUD is going to turn their life around with a single resource, no matter how helpful they may find it. In those instances, recovery from the physical symptoms of withdrawal should be supervised by an MD, and the psychological dependency -- invariably motivated by an underlying trauma -- should absolutely be addressed and treated by an experienced therapist. Mindset-repositioning alone isn't going to do the trick, I concede.
In my case, it probably helped that A) I wasn't a chronic drinker and B) I've already spent the past many years conducting the self-reflection required to better understand one's (often self-defeating or self-destructive) behaviors. And I was ready to quit drinking for reasons that had nothing to do with dependency, merely a desire to move on from a habit that was increasingly causing physical discomfort. (In other words: It was no longer worth the time, money, and attention I was investing in it.) So, I was happenstantially receptive to the mindset shift the book propounds.
The audience for whom I think this book could be really helpful, frankly, would be (give or take) college-age kids -- those only just developing a taste for booze. I think Carr's lessons might help young people understand that habitual alcohol usage, though culturally accepted (and even encouraged), probably has more drawbacks then benefits in the long run, so why even start.
I'm not saying there isn't a time/place for alcohol consumption -- I'm no teetotaler (I haven't said I won't drink again, merely that I currently have no desire to) and don't presume to insist that from others -- but I think as someone who grew up in a culture of hard drinkers (I spent half my childhood in the bars along Broadway with my late father), intellectually appreciating that culture as Carr contextualizes it -- as something conditioned, not foreordained -- might have inspired me to make different choices in my younger days.
Or maybe not! Who knows. I guess it's just nice to get to fifty years old and know it's never too late to see new perspectives, learn new things, adopt new habits, master new disciplines. Epiphanies don't come around very often -- they wouldn't be called epiphanies if they did, merely thoughts -- and this book provided one. For that, I am grateful.
"I'm beginning to feel it." "I had better stop." Syntax error. Independent clauses incompatible within the same sentence. Please try again. PC Load Letter.
You normal drinkers are baffling as hell, ha ha. BUT! I am glad you found a way to achieve a goal; that's pretty awesome.