The Metaframe War 2.0 - ARC Reads > Likes and Comments

I'm republishing the series, and as part of the process my aim is to do the following.

[1] New professionally developed covers themed to the series for Paperbacks, Ebooks, Kindle and Audible. (In progress).

[2] Revised manuscripts based on an updated per scene style guide (see below) to align my writing craft with current best practice in the urban fantasy/thriller genres. (In progress).

[3] Establish an author platform (website, etc) aligned with the best practice of other authors in the same or similar genres (what Duncan Ralston has done would be a good example).

[4] Conduct effective marketing.

The Goal: to produce a definitive professional version of this series that fully honors the story while giving it the best chance to succeed in the marketplace.

The Invite: To participate in the beta/arc reads and provide constructive feedback and glitch discovery.

The Reward: Firstly, a set of fun exciting reads, and for those who read/contribute all the way through to the end of book #3 (The Dragon's Den), and who are willing to share a postal address with me (via email), I will buy, sign, and post a paperback copy of any one book from the series to that address.

The signed books will be sent at the end of the process, once the books are live on Amazon.

I will maintain a list of people who earn a signed copy.

I will cap signed copies to the first twenty participants who meet the above criteria and want a signed copy. I.e. I'm good to send out up to 20 signed books.

Each beta/ARC read will occur on it's own thread.

Thanks

Cheers Graeme

The List of Accounts for a Signed Copy.

The Per-Scene Style Guide

Here's my style guide for revising my scenes - for those interested.

Rationale: I've always sought to improve my writing craft. I view the 10 years I spent writing the first iteration of The Metaframe War to be my apprenticeship. Looking back, I was a very naive author when I started, and if there was a mistake to make, I pretty much made all of them, but over the process I learned a lot.

With a foundation of experience, the challenge was to bridge the gap into a truly professional style aligned with a modern audience - so I researched from within the frame of what I typically do to find out what I could do differently.

This is the distillation of what I'm doing now.

#1 Scene Opener:

I would normally start with scenery to 'set the scene.' Now, I mostly start with something the POV character is experiencing. If I do start with scenery, the POV character appears on the next line.

Rule: Anchor on the POV character and their experience at the start of the scene.

#2 Dialog tags and Action beats:

I would use all sorts of dialog tags. E.g. He commanded, "Shoot them!" or hybrid tags with an adverb. E.g. He said sadly, "Dang it! We lost!"

Rule: Eliminate hybrid dialog tags - no adverbs.
Rule: Use a limited set of dialog tags with most dialog tags being said/asked, and rest drawn from 'volume,' based tags: whispered, muttured, murmured, called, yelled, shouted, bellowed.

Regarding action beats. E.g. He thumped the table. "It's the goal that matters!"

Action beats are fundamentally more visual than dialog tags and hence can move the story along by displaying character action as they speak.

Rule: Prefer action beats to dialog tags.

Result: More action beats, less dialog tags, no hybrid dialog tags.

#3 Narrative Style

I specifically write in a Third Person Limited with Past Tense style, but I didn't enforce it.

I would use sentences that began in past tense and ended in present tense... no more.

This simplifies the text with two key benefits: easier to read, and easier to write with good grammar.

Rule: Pick a style and be consistent.

#4 Pace, Rhythm, and Info Dumping

I recognise that when began writing I thought I had to explain everything to the reader which resulted in a cluster of issues

[1] Making the same point two or three different ways in a row.
[2] Have several paragraphs in a row 'info dump,' background material.
[3] Provide too much detail when it wasn't required.

It was just so much fluff! (Big Sigh).

(Chuckle, Chortle) ... I've done some pruning. In fact, one of the most enjoyable features of this major revision has been the excision of useless fluff from the manuscripts.

The key shift Trust the reader to understand as the story progresses, and some mystery is a very good thing.

Rule: Remove info dumps. If the information is really necessary add it back via dialog and action in good context with the narrative.

Result: I've cut 3 scenes, including the very first scene of A Subtle Agency (Chapter 1) where Chloe contemplates her world... pure fluff, now she arrives on scene as mystery when Anton (POV) meets her on his doorstep.

Infinitely stronger way to start the novel.

#5 Camera on POV

I was loose with the POV camera. I would allow a scene to run without a POV character in it.

Now I'm more rigourous. The POV character is the primary lens through which the scene is experienced.

Rule: Honor what the POV character can witness and reflect their perspective in how they experience the world.

#6 Who's doing What?

This is a simple one where a new paragraph is initiated per distinct character action.

I would write paragraphs where, 'Joe did X, Wendy did Y, and Bill did Z.'

Now, I simply break these up into distinct paragraphs.

Rule: Different character action, new paragraph.

Result: Shorter paragraphs. Especially combat scenes: which now approximate lists down a page as if they were sharp short sentence dialogs.

#7 Active Voice

100% prefer active voice, except IF a dialog (or an inserted letter/note/txt etc... ) would be spoken/written passively...

Rule: Use active voice unless passive is required for effect.

#8 Embodied Emotions and Somatic metaphors

Specifically via example.

Embodied emotion: Shock/Fear: 'A cold fist punched Anton's gut.'
Somatic metaphor: Nervous Anticipation: 'Butterflys filled her stomach.'

In both cases, the reader automatically understands these are metaphors to be interpreted as emotions based on the character and the context.

This is classic use of 'show don't tell.'

I already used these in my writing but now I'm much more deliberate about it, and I use them more often. But like spice on food, embodied emotions and somatic metaphors will spoil the taste if overused.

Rule: Embody emotion to show emotion rather than tell emotion. Ground emotions in physical experience of the POV character.

#9 Scene Closer:

Damn well make it interesting!

Rule: Draw the reader forward.

And that's it.

On a final note, the narrative has grown stronger through this process and is easier to read.

List of interested readers.

Nominate yourself below and I add you to this list.

List

Brian.
Narilka.
Janette.
Marie.

I AM IN!!!

Welcome, Brian.

I like this plan. I'm in if you'll have me. When would you be handing out the first book for reading?

Welcome, Narilka. Of course we would love to have you onboard.

Looking to start A Subtle Agency, 2nd Edition from the 1st of August.

I'll set up a new thread as we get closer to that date.

Sounds great.

Hi Graeme! So glad to see you’re growing as an author and exploring to improve your already amazing series!! Would it help to have readers who have already read and loved the entire series on board for this endeavor? If so, how quickly will you be having everyone read the first three books? I’d love to join in if the timing works out. I know you said you’re beginning A Subtle Agency on August 1. That one I can definitely join in on. Please let me know your thoughts. And I wish you all the best with the this journey! I’ve missed you!

Narilka wrote: "Sounds great."

Awesome.

Janette wrote: "Hi Graeme! So glad to see you’re growing as an author and exploring to improve your already amazing series!! Would it help to have readers who have already read and loved the entire series on board..."

Hi Janette, I'd love for you to join in.

New readers bring fresh eyes and are closest to the 'I'm flicking through this book in a book shop, and am I hooked or not.' experience.

Experienced readers will be familiar with the material and will be able to detect an uplift, and a re-read after a couple of years will surface fresh insights.

I'm sure experienced readers will out-number new readers in this event.

Regarding timing, I'm flexible as to pace, but I figure we'll work out timing amongst the group as we proceed.

Always willing to provide feedback G! I am in too. :)

Marie wrote: "Always willing to provide feedback G! I am in too. :)"

Awesome, Marie.

Glad you're here!