SEPTEMBER 2026 SCIENCE FICTION MICROSTORY CONTEST (Comments/Critiques Only) > Likes and Comments
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A brief treatise on the subject of time keeping and space travel…Interstellar ships contained two chronometers. The first an extremely precise timepiece, a modern version of the Atomic Clock. The second was a copy of the first, a backup of sorts, with a Relatively Compensator that tied into the engines, navigation and sensors. Its only job was to continuously calculate the amount of time dilation at relativistic speeds and add back the “lost” time to get an approximation of the time on Earth.
The former was often referred to as “ship’s time,” and the later “Estimated Absolute Time.
Inside the solar system, the variance was never more than a few minutes. Longer trips took more sub-light maneuvering and the clocks began to drift apart as time dilation built up.
Whenever a ship docked, it would sync up with the local clock, which would have synced up with another clock “nearby,” which got it’s time from another and so on, all the way back to Earth.
The difference between the ship’s calculated time and true, “stationary” time was a point of pride for the engineering crew. The smaller this value, the better.
Subspace communication greatly improved interstellar time keeping as the signal transit time was much shorter and the signal less prone to distortion from gravity fields.
In a pinch, clocks could be synchronized off of nearby pulsars. All one had to know was the distance from the pulsar (to subtract off signal transit time) and the rotation of the star.
Getting lost in time would also mean being lost in space. Without an accurate time reference, it would be impossible to know when things (such as planets) would be where, making accurate navigation impossible.
A captain of ship that is having navigation problems might be told to “get his clock checked.”
If anyone is interested, my first book in my series will be available on September 30th on Amazon. You preorder the digital copy now but the physical book won't drop until then. I provided the link below if you want to check it out.https://www.amazon.com/Nelson-Sheffle...
Chris wrote: "If anyone is interested, my first book in my series will be available on September 30th on Amazon. You preorder the digital copy now but the physical book won't drop until then. I provided the link..."Congratulations, Chris - and, best of luck.
Chris, I pre-ordered Nelson's story but it's YA and may not be my cup of tea. Or I could be pleasantly surprised!
J.F., wow, thanks for giving it a shot! I've always admired your writing, so it's a little pressure now for me, lol. I'll admit I'm certainly no Frank Herbert or Asimov, and this is no War And Peace, but I hope the story is fun and engaging. The series is less hard sci-fi and more space-adventure. It's certainly not perfect, but I've had a few adults read it, and they really enjoyed it. I hope you at least find it to be an easy, relaxing read.
Last day to get those stories in. Working on mine...
My story's up. Been busy with getting my books ready for print, so getting mine in took a little longer than I thought. Hope you guys like it.
Chris wrote: "If anyone is interested, my first book in my series will be available on September 30th on Amazon. You preorder the digital copy now but the physical book won't drop until then. I provided the link..."I like the cover Chris! I will absolutely pick it up! Congratulations on getting this released (soon!).
Justin wrote: "Chris wrote: "If anyone is interested, my first book in my series will be available on September 30th on Amazon. You preorder the digital copy now but the physical book won't drop until then. I pro..."Thanks so much Justin! I hope you like it. It's the first in a series of four that are all complete and will be released every 60 days.
Chris wrote: "My story's up. Been busy with getting my books ready for print, so getting mine in took a little longer than I thought. Hope you guys like it."I did. One of your best. Great concept, imagery and flow. Tragically moving. Thank you for putting in the time and effort, especially considering all the work you've been putting in on your project.
Hey Greg, nice use of that Moody Blues lyric for your story title. My favorite concert was at Jones Beach in '82, when my friend got us tickets 10 rows back. At first, I could place the name of the band, but knew and loved every song they played. Seen them about four times since.
Interesting story as well with some cool science. One thing to correct is the word coast in "along the California cost".
Some critiques:"The Quest" by Tom Olbert
In an alien world, a female warrior tracks a dangerous beast but she must kill it without harming a foetus growing inside of it. She is poisoned by the creature's venomous claws but removes her newborn daughter from the creature's belly and seeks food for the offspring over curing her poisoning. Both are transported to a space station hospital and later the world's empress announces in a ceremony that the newborn is the daughter of her daughter and the warrior, recalling how women left Earth after men had ruined it, using genetic engineering to create a process where women can reproduce using the local beasts as surrogates.
What I liked:
The pursuit was thrilling and well choreographed.
What could be stronger:
More clarity on the reproductive process and more description of the beast.
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"To Fly to the Sun Without Burning a Wing..." by Greg Krumrey
Archeologists on a ship called "Icarus" embark on a mission to investigate an abandoned alien ship that has been circling the sun for a few centuries. They encounter logistical problems due to time distortions that may strand them alongside the defunct spacecraft, which probably became stranded for the same reason. Soran, the chief engineer, devises a scheme to use a coronal mass ejection to free both ships from orbit and return to Earth.
What I liked:
The problem seemed plausible and the solution innovative, and both were explained in sufficient and engaging detail.
What could be stronger:
Introducing the Soran character in the beginning and adhering to his POV could make the story easier to follow and more immediate.
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"The Ruins of Love" by Chris Nance
A man climbs steps up to a palace overseeing a ruined world to confront and deactivate his android lover Rebecca, who has destroyed many worlds she saw as threats to him.
What I liked:
Rebecca's devastations are well detailed and cleverly
thrashed out during a lovers' quarrel.
What could be stronger:
Some foreshadowing of the reference to the cell at the end.
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"The Logic of Aiden" by Jot Russell
On an alien water world, where genetically modified humans battle androids, a flying human is captured by androids and turned into a cyborg. He is tricked by an android into leading them to humanity's last hiding place with a false promise of peace.
What I liked:
Action is well described and the plotting is clever.
What could be stronger:
More clarity on the settings and the transitions between them.
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"Analogous Antecedent Analog" by Justin Sewall
In a Wild-West type future world were steam power has replaced electricity after a coronal mass ejection blew away modern infrastructures, a sheriff and his deputies escort a treasure crate on a rail journey, where they are attacked by bandits who open the crate to discover a now immensely valuable analog clock.
What I liked:
Nice world-building to finesse a steampunk future.
What could be stronger:
More clarity on the purpose and destination of the journey.
Critique: "Bugged" by J.F. WilliamsA man with an unnerving and apparently irrational fear of insects tells his story to his psychiatrist. An experimental insecticide that attracts rather than repels insects and kills them slowly by genetic mutation has caused, he says, mutated insects with augmented intelligence to see him as a source of food. They seem to follow him everywhere. His wife thinks he's crazy. His shrink tells him he'll work through this irrational fear with him. After the patient leaves his office, the doctor finds his window plastered over with dead insects.
What I liked:
Good narrative flow delivered as conversation. Excellent use of light, weather and setting. It really made me feel I was there.
What could have been stronger:
The POV shift from patient to doctor could have been handled better; a clearer transition.
Critique: “To fly to the sun without burning a wing…” by GregA space team is sent to survey a derelict alien spaceship orbiting the sun and find themselves trapped in orbit and facing certain death. Their commander, inspired by surfing tricks coming about in the age of global warming and rising sea levels, devises a brilliant scheme to harness the sun's energy as a propellant force to hurl their ship to safety.
What I liked:
A very well thought out concept, precisely designed technical detail and inventiveness.
What could have been stronger:
More characterization. More feeling and emotion. The story was almost pure past-tense narration with no POV. Didn't always hold my attention. Needs to be more show, less tell.
Critique: "The Ruins of Love" by ChrisA man walks through the ruins of a murdered galactic empire. In the course of his dark wandering, it becomes clear he is somehow responsible. He finds the woman he loves amid the debris. It becomes clear in the course of the story and dialogue that his wife has long since died of illness and the man has created an android duplicate of her, born of his grief and rage at the universe that killed her. His anguish was turned into apocalyptic destruction by a machine programmed to serve his whims. He deceives the android and deactivates her, accepting responsibility for the destruction he's caused.
What I liked:
Beautiful setting and dialogue. Strong, moving feeling. Well-paced narrative and progression, strong visualization right up to the tragic end.
No complaints.
Joseph, given that I remarked about the Hudson leading up to the Adirondacks, and the main character species being Human, I thought it would be clear the settle was on a future Earth, where the seas have rose to reclaim much of the land.
I have all the votes and will wait until the 26th to post the results, as other members may chose to vote.
Jot wrote: "Joseph, given that I remarked about the Hudson leading up to the Adirondacks, and the main character species being Human, I thought it would be clear the settle was on a future Earth, where the sea..."I needed more to be sure. The synopsis in this critique format is probably the most valuable feedback because it shows that some readers may not completely get the story. But that's not always the story's fault, of course. This is all just grist for the mill.
"It Isn't a Fox" by Jack McDanielA genetically modified curious fox and angry crow visit a ruined building that houses an abandoned AI lab housing an entity that engineered them and ended civilization. The two discover the breadth of the AI's devastation is global and have an existential argument because of their disparate natures. The crow assaults the fox who escapes because of the ability to glide while the crow cannot fly.
What I liked:
Descriptions flow well and the plot is compelling.
What could be stronger:
More action and less discussion. I basically wanted more to happen.
You're welcome, Jack. And thanks to Tom for his critiques. I think it's pretty clear he does a better job of it than I do and I don't mind saying so.
J.F. wrote: "You're welcome, Jack. And thanks to Tom for his critiques. I think it's pretty clear he does a better job of it than I do and I don't mind saying so."
I just use your technique, J.F. But, thank you.
Critique: "The Logic of Aiden" by Jot RussellA dark future in which man and machine have evolved in opposite directions, the machines advancing technologically while humanity genetically engineers itself in adapting to global warming and rising seas. The POV character, a young adventurer, after leading the enemy machines on a wild and daring chase, is captured and turned into a cyborg. The machines trick him into believing they want him to be their envoy of peace. Tragically, he falls for the deception and becomes the instrument of humanity's destruction.
What I liked:
Very well thought-out concept and good world building. Good action and strong POV emotion and feeling.
What could have been stronger:
The action did most of the work in envisioning the world. For the most part, it worked well enough. But, a touch more description, especially at the start would have helped bring that future into focus.
Critique: "Analogous Antecedent Analog" by JustinA dystopian future in which a cosmic disaster has destroyed the digital computerized civilization, plunging the world back into the equivalent of the 19th century. Steam and gas are back and so is western-style action as a sheriff and his deputies fight with old-fashioned shot guns to save a precious shipment from train robbers. Just as it looks grim for our law man protagonist, one of the robbers breaks into the shipping crate and finds the most precious thing in this dying world: a clock.
What I liked:
A well-envisioned dark future in which the point of a retro civilization struggling to survive advances straight to a perfectly illustrative finale. Great action. Absolutely marvelous detail, right down to the battered old suitcases, bits of hay on wooden floors and buck shot going through wooden car walls.
What could have been stronger:
The 2nd paragraph is an expository lump which forms a break in the action. The background story of how this world came about should have been spread out in the course of the story, through showing, not telling.
Thanks so much, Tom. You certainly conveyed well the theme of the story in short work. Definitely could have been a profession critique writer.Anyone else getting almost daily literary emails that crique you books as an intro into trying to drum up business from you? Since AI, they certainly have used this to parse stories to help make it sound like they have all actually read the works.
J.F. wrote: "Some critiques:"The Quest" by Tom Olbert
In an alien world, a female warrior tracks a dangerous beast but she must kill it without harming a foetus growing inside of it. She is poisoned by the..."
Thank you for this feedback! I really appreciate it!
Tom wrote: "Critique: "Analogous Antecedent Analog" by JustinA dystopian future in which a cosmic disaster has destroyed the digital computerized civilization, plunging the world back into the equivalent of ..."
Thanks Tom for taking the time to review my story! Appreciate the feedback!
Jot wrote: "Thanks so much, Tom. You certainly conveyed well the theme of the story in short work. Definitely could have been a profession critique writer.Anyone else getting almost daily literary emails tha..."
Very flattering, Jot. Thank you.
Justin wrote: "Tom wrote: "Critique: "Analogous Antecedent Analog" by JustinA dystopian future in which a cosmic disaster has destroyed the digital computerized civilization, plunging the world back into the eq..."
My pleasure, Justin.
Critique: "It isn't A Fox" by Jack McDanielA bizarre post-apocalyptic fairy tale of two genetically engineered sentient beings contending in the ruins of a dead world. The protagonist, a fox is searching for the meaning of life. The antagonist, a crow accepts that its only purpose is to destroy life. The crow chases the fox into the ruins of the genetics corporation that created them and destroyed the world. To the fox, it's like finding the secret of creation. To the crow, it's a waste of time. In the course of their existential argument, the fox declares the fundamental immortality of life, much to the crow's dismay. The crow attacks the fox, only to learn the fox is more than meets the eye.
What I liked:
A strange and haunting vision. Well thought-out ideas and philosophy presented as dueling fundamental opposites.
What could be stronger:
Early on, the plot would have been stronger if there'd been less of the philosophical introspection. The story could have been shorter and still achieved the same effect.
J.F. and Tom, thanks so much for taking the time to critique our stories this month. I always find it helpful to get feedback about my writing. You guys are awesome.
Congrats to Greg Krumrey, TWENTY-time Champion of the Science Fiction Microstory Contest. That's a big milestone!"To fly to the sun without burning a wing…"
Greg Krumrey
For more than two centuries, it circled the sun at about 1,000 kilometers a second. An early astronomer took it for dirt on his lens; later astronomers assumed it was a sunspot. The Parker Solar Probe settled the matter: It was an abandoned ship, one durable enough to survive inside the corona the whole time. Someone called it Helios Chariot and the name stuck.
Fifty years later, a team of archeologists set out on a one-of-kind ship, the Icarus, to learn the secrets of the Chariot.
--
The pursuit phase went off like clockwork. After several retrograde burns they were on course to match orbits. A prograde burn should settle them in with a manageable delta-V. Once docked with the Chariot, It would become a solar shield, keeping them cool until Icarus’ return window opened, in eighteen days.
The arresting system snagged the Chariot but the delta-v was too high. Icarus’ engines fired to compensate. Instead of the 2-3 G forces the crew expected, it was closer to 7.
After the rough landing, the ship’s crew figured out the problem: The math was correct, the mass of the Chariot was within tolerance as calculated by measuring its change in velocity during docking. It turned out to be a matter of time. The chief engineer, Soran, summed it up nicely: “We’re not feeling the Sun’s gravity because we are in orbit. But, between the gravity and shifting magnetic fields, time is being distorted. An hour here is not the same as an hour on Mercury. It was only a few minutes off, but our burn time was extended and then we burned more braking. Rather than rely on inaccurate fuel calculations which require a precise clock, we’ve taken a direct measure of our fuel reserves.
We haven’t enough fuel to complete our ascent; If we attempt, we’ll burn up.”
The archeologists, faced with becoming part of “the dig,” stoically set out to collect and transmit as much data as possible in the time they had left.
While the ship was alien, the reason they were in orbit all these years easily discerned: They, too, ran out of fuel. In their case, they put the ship on automatic before bailing out.
The Chariot had the same reaction-control engine design as the Icarus and had similarly empty fuel tanks. But something kept the Chariot in orbit all this time: Ramjets, taking in a bit of the coronasphere, compressing it into plasma and ejecting it at high velocity. This system could keep the joined ships aloft indefinitely but wasn’t enough to get them out of orbit.
After several hours of calculations, the engineers were strangely relieved by another conclusion: They could not scavenge enough parts from the Chariot to get Icarus to safely. This historic find would remain intact. On the other hand, learning they were doomed was not helpful.
What they needed was a boost, a shove in the right direction.
The Chariot’s engines briefly flared as it avoided another coronal mass ejection. Dodging the waves in a glowing sea.
Waves.
Soran called the team together, sketching as he spoke. “I worked briefly at the Vandenberg Launch Complex years ago, before it washed out to sea. It was in Southern Canada, along the California cost. Before we reversed climate change, top surfers would come out for these 30-meter waves. A good ripper could ride one almost a mile inland and step off on Interstate 1, using nothing but a surfboard and the power of the sea.”
“A coronal mass ejection is just a wave of matter, traveling away from the Sun at high velocity. If we can maneuver into the right one, we could ride it out of here. Helio’s Chariot has survived much more, so that shouldn’t be a problem. We pick the right wave and we’re headed home.”
--
An override was added to Helio’s Chariot’s navigation system and everything not bolted down was strapped, tied or bolted down. As the launch window approached, Soran watched for his wave. Three hours later, he called out “Surf’s up” as he steered the two ships into the glowing mass of stellar matter.
Out of forward portal, the orange haze around the stars faded and the welcome sight of the retrieval ship swam into view.
Wow Greg, that's fantastic! Congrats and great story!
Thanks, everyone! It was another one that was fun to write once I had the outline. Yes, I had several titles about Icarus and wings and “to fly to the sun without burning a wing” just came out. Moments later, I remembered “To lie in a meadow and hear the grass sing” and then the rest of the song. I’m a Moody Blues fan, too. Several decades ago, I did a sci fi story set to music, with the narration over the instrumental parts of songs telling part of the story and the lyrics filling in the rest. The friends I played it for loved it, but I’d end up under a pile of copyright lawyers if it ever got out.
Here’s some of the songs from that story: Shut down, Turn off (Little River Band), Calling Occupants (Klaatu), Help is on its way (Little River Band), and Wildest Dreams (Moody Blues). Back in those days, the entire process was analog. I wonder what it would be like doing it using digital editing tools. A lot less takes for sure.
I got a story in the Mensa’s national magazine (In The Game) that got its start in this contest. I store the critiques along with my story in my archive and review them before I re-write the story in a longer format. Going to 2000-3000 words opens up room for character development, more science, etc.
As for those curious about how I got to 20 winning stories, it was two things: Persistence and perseverance. I’ve been writing for the contest for 12 years and, with very few exceptions, get a story in every month. Having to compete with a collection of great stories doesn’t hurt either.
So, thanks, again. For encouraging me to write and the critiques, too, not to mention the votes.
I'd better start thinking of a theme...
Element: a timepiece