[BETA READERS WANTED] YA Magical-School Fantasy/Mystery: Mara and Renwick House > Likes and Comments
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Hi Yasmine, I would be interested in reading this.
J.R. wrote: "Hi Yasmine, I would be interested in reading this."Hi J.R.! I realized I accidentally forgot to include this in my post but because I am on a very tight timeline preparing for a new round of agent queries, I am not available to do a full manuscript swap but can certainly at least read intro chapters for someone else as a swap if you prefer!
If you're still interested, I'd be thrilled to send you my first 3 chapters via a Google Drive link. Please let me know.
Blurb: On the last Sunday of summer break, sixteen-year-old Mara Alden is walking through the forest with her grandfather when her ring falls to the ground. The moment her palm touches the soil, the air ripples, the forest changes, and her grandfather disappears. When she frantically races home in search of him, her father and stepmother do not remember her leaving with her grandfather that day.
Determined to prove that her memory is real and uncover what happened, Mara returns to the forest later that night. A magical path leads her into a world hidden in reality’s blind spot and to Renwick House, a school built along a fault line in North Carolina for young people who are gifted with memory magic. But Renwick House is much more than an ordinary school: it’s alive. Plant vines eavesdrop on conversations, clay attendants slither out of the walls to fill glasses, and portraits replay strange fragments of the past. Better yet, the House even takes it upon itself to assign students to one of its three magical Orders: Echo, Surge, or Threads—but it refuses to place Mara in any of them.
The more she digs, the more she struggles with why she was admitted, why the faculty avoid her questions, and why the House appears to recognize her. As Mara searches for her grandfather, signs of instability around a mysterious pressure phenomenon known as the Rift lead her toward a secret buried in Renwick’s past and the possibility that the school knows far more about him than anyone is willing to admit.
Content warnings: Grief involving deceased and missing family members, memory manipulation and erasure, institutional control, and magical danger.
Feedback: I'm looking for big-picture reader feedback rather than inline editing or proofreading. I would like thoughts on the overall pacing, how the world building feels, the mechanics of my magic system, and if the main character motivations are clear. I would also love to hear general reader impressions on the concept and story. I'm happy to privately share the opening three chapters with interested beta readers to determine whether the manuscript is a good match, and share the remaining manuscript from there for free.
Critique swap availability: I may be able to exchange opening chapters, but unfortunately I’m not currently available for a full-manuscript swap at this time. Genre preference: upper-middle-grade and YA fantasy, especially dark academia, mystery, and magical-school fantasy.
Please reach out if interested! Thank you all!