Olivia’s Comments (group member since Oct 25, 2008)

Olivia’s comments from the Short Story Contests group.

that's fine, this was a great scary story!

aww im sad no one wrote anything for this, this could have been pretty interesting :P

haha sure jess

thanks jessica :)

great stories everyone!

here goes...

Title: Sun, Ice Cream, and Memories
Author: Olivia
Words: 786
Notes: I originally wrote this for the army topic last week...

A grassy park. Trees spreading their branches over the cobbled paths and worn wooden benches, creating dappled patches of murky shade, a haven from the egg-yolk-yellow sun hanging high in the sky. Rays of light from the sun, just past the zenith of its eternal trek over the horizon, swept over everything, from the flowers stretching greedily to meet them to the bald man absent-mindedly rubbing his head as he read the newspaper, unaware of the growing circle of pink on his crown. In addition to these deeds, however, the weather was melting ice cream, and it was melting it fast.
“Damn!” A gruff man slammed his hand down on a cart. Tall yet stooped with hardship and sporting a stubby goatee streaked with grey, the same color accenting his raven-black bangs, he was selling homemade ice cream in every flavor imaginable. But it was all melting. His partner looked over at him, smiling as he raised an eyebrow. “It’s a catastrophe! Call in the National Guard – no, better yet, the army! Save the slightly overheated ice cream!” The friend shook his head slightly. “Really, Rick, all we need is a little more ice.” “Oh, shut it, I know you’re right, Joe you ruffian,” Rick relented. He trudged over to the cooler and adjusted the ice. A little girl with pigtails sticking out from each side of her head skipped up to the stand holding her mom’s hand. “Hi!” She bounced up and down trying to see the selection, finally settling for standing on her very tiptoes with her chin resting on the top, wide eyes taking in the sight of the many flavors. The partners exchanged looks, and Rick brought out a step stool for the young kid. She beamed at him and asked for “a strawbee banana cone please!” Fifteen minutes later, she returned, still bouncing, with a big pink spot on her shirt and a request for more ice cream. Rick slipped into a daydream as he supplied her with more sugar than was probably advisable. She reminded him of a little girl he’d served ice cream to in Seattle a year ago. Rick prided himself on his excellent memory, and though he never allowed himself to laugh at the time, he often chose to fix funny moments in his mind, moments in which he would have laughed, if only she was there to share the joke.
She was the subject of some of his favorite memories, but he only ever allowed himself to think of one. It was just after he had first learned to make ice cream at culinary school, and they were in his kitchen together, creating a batch of chocolate peanut butter, playfully getting peanut butter over everything, including each other, and it was then he had realized he was in love. Years later, he would try to persuade her not to join the army, admitting that he selfishly wanted to keep her hoe with him, safe. She laughed, kissed him, and walked off to report for duty. He soon learned that she had been posted somewhere rather dangerous, and then that a plane she was scheduled to be on had been blown up. Since they hadn’t married before she left, and he didn’t know any of her relatives who remained alive at that time, he could not get any more information. And so he lost her. That day was the day that Rick’s onyx hair acquired its first streak of silver.
But Rick didn’t allow himself to dwell on any of that. He snapped himself out of his daydream and went to work mechanically. Joe recognized the signs of his melancholy and left him alone. The day wore on, as days are wont to do, and Rick stayed deep within the place inside himself where he went to survive each day. The evening came, and soon business slowed with the setting sun. Rick and Joe sat together, feet up, pensively waiting for the last couple customers of the day. Suddenly Rick sat bolt upright. He locked eyes with Joe. Those eyes now seemed to almost pop out of his head, contrasted with the sudden pallor of his face. “Did you…” he stammered. Equally astonished, Joe nodded his head vigorously. “I saw!” Assured that it was no illusion, Rick immediately sprinted off with his heart pumping like mad, feet pounding the ground as if doing thief utmost to crack it to pieces, chasing down the girl with short black hair flowing behind her in the wind, the figure receding into the distance. Rick had found his Juliet. Luckily he had sidestepped the tragic ending.

He taps her shoulder. She turns. Joy lights the night sky, highlighting it with red.

i'll post my story tomorrow hopefully, i just need to type it up. actually it's too bad, i might have written something much cooler for ruffian, but last week I was just focusing on writing a story with the word army that wasn't depressing.

awww thanks :) confidence boost!

ahhh no i'm sorry I was going to post it earlier but I got caught in traffic and I didn't have time to finish... i guess i will just have to try to work the next word into the existing short story... but despite the extra time don't expect it to be amazing :P im kind of rusty...

i will try and post a story later today.

:) my exams just finished recently too. hopefully i'll have a chance to write a story for this week.

maybe you should also send out a mod message, arthur, alerting people that the group is going live again.

My mod control doesn't really extend to this area (actually recently i've mostly abdicated all my duties :P) but I agree that this would be a good idea, as most people have much more free time now.

haha that wasn't a yes or no question

hi arthur sorry I haven't sent you the SSG info... how do you want me to send it so that you can take over when I won't be on goodreads? (or at least completely inactive). Email attachment, goodreads message...?

thx

Haha I really like this picture. Maybe i will get the time together to write for this contest... Also arthur, after week 50 is done, I will send you the SSG instructions!

Sounds good :) Please tell me if you do write a sequel!

That was a great story! Sad ending though.

thanks. sorry for the random q... but in a strange way it is related to the SSG site =P