Mark’s Comments (group member since Apr 23, 2013)

Mark’s comments from the Partners of Aspies & ASD group.

My 14 year old, lovingly referred to as Aspie Teen, wanted to go back to regular school this year. Starting 9th grade High School wasn't my ideal pick of years to try to start again. But if he wanted to try it we were willing to let him.

We went to registration and the poor kid almost burst out crying when he had to talk about being put on a school bus route. He was always bullied and picked on when he was riding the school bus in earlier years.
We assured him that it wasn't finalized he WOULD ride a bus, but we were just getting information.

We then went to talk to a guidance counselor and fill out forms. Poor Aspie Teen tried to mold himself into the wall and become one with the brick and mortar. He later said he was overwhelmed by all the people there. I hated to break it to him, but that was only registration and it was fairly empty. His jaw dropped.

I almost had to break up a fight between my wife and the guidance counselor (WHY do people go into the Human Services field when they don't like people??)

End result my son is now re enrolled in online school. We just couldn't do it to him. Besides that we don't have an IEP in place yet, and the "special" programs this state has are pitifully, woefully, and SHAMEFULLY inadequate!

Someone posted this on Facebook today. I loved it. Our kids and loved ones are challenged by so much. This is the mentality we need to continue to instill in them.

http://gettingsmart.com/2012/07/autis...

Let's share some stories!

I know for a fact that I almost titled my blog Living With Lucy because some of the situations my Aspie wife got caught up in or created.

So let's share some of those funny or inspiring moments with each other.

I'll start:

My middle son Aspie Monkey Boy Dod the funniest thing.

My wife took him to school and they passed that sign that says "SLOW! CHILDREN "

MY son stamps his foot and says. "Mom I hate that sign!" and proceeds to kick it.

Wife: Why do you hate that sign?
Son: It's calling me SLOW! I'm not slow...watch! (he then runs to the front door of the school and back to where mu wife is standing doing his best Sonic the Hedgehog imitation.)

His rigid thinking made him take the signs message literally, which is quite common with people with Aspergers. And though my wife explained to him what the signs message really meant to this day if he walks by the sign he'll kick it.

Who's next?

I'm sorry you guys are going through all that. I. think you may have to address the logistics of the situation at least. If he's not ready to get back ina car, you may want to agree to let him stay at a friends house until exams are over.

Panic attacks are a horrible thing. And you need to remember that you are not the cause of them and mot beat yourself up over them.

I would bring up the logistics first and if hes ready to go into talking about the panic attacks then start doing so gently. Sometimes the person having the attacks can be made to have anothernone just by remembering them or trying to convey to someone else how they feel.

please keep me posted and again if I can answer any other questions please don't hesitate to ask.

OK...getting a diagnosis can be very scary for some and very liberating for others. My wife wasn't diagnosed until 2 years ago. Once she did, she ran an entire range of emotions from relief, to shock, to anger to depression and finally back to relief again. It was a shock to her of course...but eventually she was glad to finally have an answer...a reason...for why she was the way she was...each person is different, as is their reaction.

As far as making it harder to find work, it is not mandatory for anyone to reveal to a prospective employer that they are on the autism spectrum whether it's diagnosed or not. Unless he is planning on claiming autism as a disability which autism does technically fall under. If he has found ways to handle the different presentations of his autism, then he knows whether or not he should do that. I have ADD and I felt it was necessary at the time to seek a diagnosis because my wife also has ADD and was given Adderrall and I saw how good she was doing on it, so I wanted to give it a try and needed to be diagnosed first. Each person is different again.

My wife is an Aspie...and we have had our share of difficulties because of it. I have adult ADD and it's been interesting seeing the two of us clash in different areas. ESPECIALLY house work!

I've found some great informative books and I'm going to list them in a second. They are easy reads and they are simple reads not filled with a lot of technical terms which will make your eyes glaze over. Here they are:

Aspergirls-Rudy Simone - Describes women with Asperger's Syndrome. VERY helpful!

Twirling Naked In the Streets and No One Noticed - Jeannie Davide-Rivera. This actually is my wife's book which gives a really good glimpse into the inner workings of the Aspie mind.

The Journal of Best Practices-David Finch-Tells the story of a man who discovers he has Asperger's and the lengths he went through to repair the damage done to his marriage because of it. Autism CAN be a very difficult thing for a non autistic and an autistic couple to deal with. I just started reading this myself...

That's a good start for the reading.

As to whether or not an official diagnosis will make it harder to get insurance, I can't really tell you. I have good insurance through my job, and my wife and kids are covered under it..my wife's diagnosis didn't complicate our coverage at all..but I understand that may not be the case for everyone.

Be encouraged though! Your live's are not over and there is hope for the future. And most importantly YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!! There is a whole world full of people out there like the two of you. Who have gone through the things you've gone through.

If you blog at all, start looking for blogs by people also on the spectrum and their partners as well. My wife's blog Aspie Writer can be informative and helpful. My blog on wordpress.com is named My Aspie Wife and I blog about being the NT (Nuero-Typical) partner of an Aspie.

There are resources out there. Also feel free to keep asking questions here. I hope this reply helped you some.

Wow that was a long post! I cant answer the whole thing right now, but first let me say this is exactly what I created this group for.

I. promise I will sign back on later with a longer reply for you.

Hello Kana and welcome!

Welcome Sara!

Welcome to the group! My name is Mark, and I created this group to be a place where people can come and share stories and ask opinions and just support one each other really.