Mark’s Comments (group member since Sep 21, 2013)

Mark’s comments from the Freedom from Lust group.

1.Admit you don’t have control over this problem, resolve to get well and seek help;

2.Think and evaluate your home and work environment. Are there any triggers to porn in those places? Take measures to remove them immediately;

3.Think and evaluate the friends and places that you frequently find yourself outside of home and work. Assess whether they are contributing to the vice of porn. If so, take measures to remove or replace them in your life;

4.Reflect on the times when you have acted out with porn. Assess whether there is a pattern to your behavior. For instance, if loneliness is a pattern, then seek to combat your loneliness by pursuing friendships and relationships that can reduce or eliminate the feelings of loneliness;

5.Have accountability to someone other than yourself! Join a men’s group that offers accountability, mentoring and friendship with brothers who can effectively walk with you on your journey of recovery;

6.Pray, pray, pray! Develop a daily prayer life. Seek God’s forgiveness and grace when you fall to your sin. Avail yourself of these graces daily by praying the rosary, reading the Bible, fasting, and frequenting the sacraments of Reconciliation (as often as is necessary) and Eucharist;

7.Discern your root sin—for most men it is pride or lust. Apply or replace the vice with a corresponding virtue. For instance the corresponding virtue to pride is humility. Seek daily opportunities to humble yourself;

8.Take counter measures to evil inclinations and temptations in your life. Take a stand against the multi-billion dollar porn industry. Consider TKM’s No More Porn Tour;

9.Make a public statement about your struggle or as we like to say at TKM “lead with your weakness.” This can be done in a men’s group or some other forum where trust is met and confidentiality secured;

10.Pursue your vocation as a man! Your vocation whether it is single, married or religious life is your path to holiness and freedom from sin.


Note: this 10 step outline was adapted from Co-Founder of TKM Mark Houck’s article entitled Pornography: What’s the Problem? Published by the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops in 2008.

God is Love. The first description that God gave of His character was to Moses. (Exodus 34:6 NIV) And he passed in front of Moses, proclaiming, "The LORD, the LORD, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness. In the original Hebrew the first word about His character means "Full of Compassion", merciful. So the kind of love that God is, is what we call compassion. It is the kind of love that God gives parents for their children. Compassion demands action, compassion needs to nurture, to help, to rescue, to protect, to provide for, to give, to show mercy, to comfort, and many other things. These are things that God needs to do, things He longs to do. This is why He has placed us in a world where we desperately need Him to provide these things for us, to us, and in us. If we try to become righteous and holy any other way then we are robing God of being able to show us His mercy. For more about this see our online book at www.seekgod.org/compassion.html

A prophecy given by Zechariah, the father of John the Baptist, about Jesus said that Jesus was coming to rescue us and to enable us to serve God in holiness and righteousness all our days. (Luke 1:67-75 NIV) His father Zechariah was filled with the Holy Spirit and prophesied: {68} "Praise be to the Lord, the God of Israel, because he has come and has redeemed his people. {69} He has raised up a horn of salvation for us in the house of his servant David {70} (as he said through his holy prophets of long ago), {71} salvation from our enemies and from the hand of all who hate us-- {72} to show mercy to our fathers and to remember his holy covenant, {73} the oath he swore to our father Abraham: {74} to rescue us from the hand of our enemies, and to enable us to serve him without fear {75} in holiness and righteousness before him all our days.

Whoever humbles himself as a little child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. We are to come as a little humble child that asks a parent for a glass of water because we can't reach the glass or the water. In the same way we hunger and thirst for righteousness, and then trust and depend upon God to give it by His mercy and compassion for us. (1 Corinthians 1:25-31 NKJV) Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men. {26} For you see your calling, brethren, that not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called. {27} But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty; {28} and the base things of the world and the things which are despised God has chosen, and the things which are not, to bring to nothing the things that are, {29} that no flesh should glory in His presence. {30} But of Him you are in Christ Jesus, who became for us wisdom from God; and righteousness and sanctification and redemption; {31} that, as it is written, "He who glories, let him glory in the LORD."

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, For they shall be filled.
(Matthew 5:6)

Everyone has certain sins that they are more vulnerable to falling into. These are weak points that ensnare us and weigh us down when we give into the temptations. But by looking unto Jesus, and seeking His presence, and His help, we can throw off those heavy weights and run free toward the throne of God. (Hebrews 12:1-2 NKJV) Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, {2} looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Jesus wrote the book of your faith and He will finish the good work that He has begun in you, it is your destiny.

We look unto Jesus and not our selves for help because we are helpless, and He gives help. Jesus is the Creator of the universe and the source of our help. (Psalms 121:2-3) My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip-- he who watches over you will not slumber.

By seeking God we keep moving forward in the Kingdom of God. (2 Chronicles 26:5) He sought God in the days of Zechariah, who had understanding in the visions of God; and as long as he sought the LORD, God made him prosper. The word prosper here is the Hebrew word tsalach, it means to push forward. Seeking God keeps us pushing forward in the right direction.

Your addiction, your bondage to sin, is a setup for God to demonstrate His Love and Mercy for you, to you, and in you. You can not overcome this on your own, only by divine help will you be set free. (Romans 11:32 NIV) For God has bound all men over to disobedience so that he may have mercy on them all. Jesus came to set you free (Isaiah 61:1 NKJV) "The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon Me, Because the LORD has anointed Me To preach good tidings to the poor; He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, To proclaim liberty to the captives, And the opening of the prison to those who are bound. If you have never asked Jesus into your heart before then go to the New Life Page at www.seekgod.org/newlife.html and begin a relationship with the Creator of the Universe. Then come back here because this message is for Christians.

You will not overcome this addiction by your own will power or any other means then by the mercy of God setting you free. The Lord longs to set you free and He is the one that will change your will to want to do His will. (Philippians 2:13 NKJV) for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure. God wants to carry you into love, peace, and joy; He wants you to experience His presence. (Psalms 16:11 NKJV) You will show me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore. There is no high like The Most High, God.

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Matthew 5:28 ESV / 862 helpful votes
But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

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1 Corinthians 6:18 ESV / 606 helpful votes
Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.

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Galatians 5:16 ESV / 592 helpful votes
But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.

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1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 ESV / 451 helpful votes
For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God;

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Colossians 3:5 ESV / 341 helpful votes
Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.

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1 John 2:16 ESV / 313 helpful votes
For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world.

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2 Timothy 2:22 ESV / 256 helpful votes
So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.

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Galatians 5:19-21 ESV / 223 helpful votes
Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

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1 Corinthians 6:13 ESV / 211 helpful votes
“Food is meant for the stomach and the stomach for food”—and God will destroy both one and the other. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.

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Job 31:1 ESV / 176 helpful votes
“I have made a covenant with my eyes; how then could I gaze at a virgin?

8 and she, being before instructed of her mother, said, Give me hereJohn Baptist's head in a charger.8And the king was sorry: nevertheless for the oath's sake, andthem, which sat with him at meat, he commanded it to be givenher. (Matt. Chapter 14)
KJV

Herod was so driven by lust over Herodias daughter‘sseductive dance, he killed someone he actually admired andliked. Pornography is like gasoline on a fire, the human sexdrive doesn‘t need a lot to motivate it, pornography sends itover the edge, and this is why Satan uses it so often. Mostmovies today have full nudity or partial, our music is sexuallysuggestive, and adultery is so commonplace even our clergymen are notorious for their fallings. Women have torealize that they are objects of beauty and that carries greatresponsibility on their part. Now I am not advocating womencover up like Muslims, but having your breast exposed andlegs showing up to the thighs will cause men to lust plain andsimple.