June’s Comments (group member since Mar 19, 2023)

June’s comments from the The Group of Writers group.

These are the rough, unedited first five prologs in my current writing. I just want some suggestions, thank you so much if you take the time to respond.

Edit from like a year later or something:
Uh so obviously this is discontinued. Im not taking it down or anything so if you have the willpower to read it

Cool 👍🏻

Prolog 1
With: ?
She sat at the edge of a cliff overlooking the sea. The salty air wiped her hair into her face, but she didn’t care. This is her favorite spot. She sighed, for she knew she would have to go back soon, back to the house she refused to think of as home.

Prolog 2
With: ?
The highest branch of the oldest tree in the forest held her weight. She mist have been fifty feet in the air, but she wasn’t scared; she came here often. The sun began its decent, and she expertly jumped from branch to branch until she hit solid ground.
When she could just make out her little cottage, she smiled, for she knew, without having to smell the slightly smoky air nor see the black silhouettes dramatically contrasted byt the buttery yellow light behind the large windows, that when she got back her mom would be sitting on the over-stuffed couch in the loving room, waiting to hear about her outdoor adventure while they sipped hot chocolate near the fire.

Prolog 3
With: ?
Her footsteps echoed off the sparkling moonstone walls. Her parents had requested her presence at 1:30 sharp, and she was already five minutes late. Finally, she came to the large double doors made of pure diamond. She took deep breath, readying herself for what was to come. She knew this had to be important, for her parents never wished to speak to her this formally. It seemed as though they had even dismissed the guards that were always posted at the two marble columns supporting the

Corey wrote: "So your question is which of those two romances to have your character should pursue?

If that's the case, my vote would be for River. The enemies to lovers troupe is pretty common, and the fire a..." Thank you so much!

Ok so.
I have two love interests i have to decide between, but i JUST CAN’T CHOOSE!! (This is a book i’m writing btw.) so, this character ember she is snarky,feisty,sarcastic, always has pent up anger, not afraid to make the world burn to protect those she holds dear and she controls fire. Now, i could make an Enemies to lovers (more of a ‘hate to like but more than like’ kind of thing) with this guy she went to boarding school with and had a rivalry going with, or i could have her and river, who is quiet, scary as heck when mad,sweet, daring, loyal and controls water ( i know these are REALLY creative names). Or there could be no romance at all and i can let my parents read it. PLEASE HELP ME