Daisy’s Comments (group member since May 30, 2025)

Daisy’s comments from the GoodWrites group.

My ears should be ringing, but I only hear the sound of nothing as I feel the ground shake beneath me, fingers sinking deeper into the sand. My body feels the shock waves of explosions all around me.
No sound. I'm not sure if this makes things better or worse. I can't hear the people screaming all around me, but I know they have to be, they have to be, I have to be. I'm screaming for my team, not knowing if they can even hear me.
Objects zoom past me, rocks, shrapnel, sand. I realize that I've been running. Boots landing on the thick loose sand, adrenaline carrying me far. Until I feel the wave of another bomb. next thing I know there's sand in my mouth and I can finally hear something, an annoying ringing in my ears.
I cough the sand out of my mouth. People run around me, scattering like ants. Another explosion far ahead of me, more death. I hear a muffled something behind me. A voice. Familiar arms pick me up and carry me to a nearby house, what's left of a house. My comrade is talking to me, I don't understand him. He keeps taking as he grabs my leg and opens his med pack.
Shrapnel is sticking out of my leg. He bandages what he can, hands me a rifle and starts giving me signals that I can't even begin to process right now.
I think he asks if I can stand up, I nod as I feel gunfire on the opposite side of the wall. The pain should be rushing back into my body by now, I should feel afraid, I should hear the sound of my breath or my heart beating its way out of my chest and into my ears. But I don't.
My comrade gives the signal to go, and we do our best to survive.


(criticism is encouraged and thank you for reading)

I nominate MIAcat

Thanks! It does make more sense like that

Whoa... This is good

grew

<3

It's kinda off the prompt and its more of a poem, or something. I hope that's alright.
(I don't really write poetry that much so I know its not great but whatever lol)



I did it.
I sacrificed the world for my own desires.
It cost me everything, the world is on fire.
I did what they asked, got cut on the glass, and acquired my pass.
Why do I feel to empty?
I got what I thought I wanted, I got what I thought I needed. I achieved my goal, so why am I feeling like a burnt lump of coal?
I got everything I wanted and more, but my heart feels like glass shattered on the floor.
Was it worth it?
Can't tell. Like a corpse. Only shell.
My body is tired, empty. I did everything I could and all my energy has left me.
I feel my body leaving, separating from my soul. I seem to have, let everyone go.


lemme know what yall think

Sounds like a good idea, I'll try it sometime :)

I'm currently in a bit of a writing slump but I'm working my way out it!

ooh, sounds like its coming together nicely!

tree

a

Aw thanks!

possible TW: hospital, loss of sibling, anger, etc.



He was gone, there was nothing she could do about it. They said that she had been asleep for a few weeks while he was awake, hoping that she would wake up.
She couldn't bear the thought of him waiting on her like that. Waiting in his own hospital bed next to hers, wishing she would wake up when he was the one they should have all been worrying about. How could they not know? No tested showed anything? Nothing at all? Why did she live? Why didn't her brother?
Nurses often came in when they thought she was asleep, talking about how much of a tragedy this was, such a horrible car accident, how good of a brother he was, how it was all sad, she was a poor girl and life was unfair.
She knew all this crap already, she was living through it. Some of them would try to give her advice on how to deal with this-but what would they know?! It wasn't their brother who died, it wasn't their brother who was always there for them and then just died without saying goodbye. It wasn't them how felt like there was a giant hole in her heart because the person who stuck with them through thick and thin just up and died without warning. They would never understand the pain she felt, how much it hurt deep in her heart. How constant it was. How much she wanted it gone.
She was alone. She didn't want to be, she wanted someone to comfort her, she wanted her brother at her side. She needed her brother, he was all she had left...


MIAcat's is better lol

there

*sends hearts to character*
<3 <3 <3

They all sound fascinating, but it doesn't matter which one I (or anyone else in this group) likes. Its your story, write whichever you like best or feel needs to be written.
Like, what if the story you liked the most was the one that everyone hated? I don't want you to avoid writing that story just cuz everyone thought it was dumb.

Write what YOU like, even if everyone hates it.

a weekly check in, we can talk about how our projects are currently going, word/page count, struggles, tips, hold each other accountable, etc.

Daisy wrote: "I like this story idea, there's definitely some sketchy things happening here and its quite intriguing!

one weird complaint... with Alice they were walking on sand, and then there's trees, (which..."

ohhh, Australia...
I'm an idiot XD

I like this story idea, there's definitely some sketchy things happening here and its quite intriguing!

one weird complaint... with Alice they were walking on sand, and then there's trees, (which I know can happen) and then snow? is there sand on mountains?
I live in Florida and haven't been on too many mountains so I'm just a bit confused there.. but overall nice job! definitely would like to know what's going on here and who they're running from