LJF’s Comments (group member since Aug 06, 2015)

LJF’s comments from the Harry Potter Next Generation group.

sure- where?

"Probably. it's the not knowing that kills me? If I had told someone earlier on, could she have gotten help? Could she have found someone who could explain to her what her teachers couldn't? Isn't there anything that could have been done? I'll never know."

did pixie grayson ever get approved? i'll do one with her

"She wasn't happy, being a wizard," he sighed, "Most people wouldn't get it, but she couldn't be happy, knowing that magic existed, without knowing what it was and how it works. But nobody could tell her that. It drove her insane."

"But it's my fault. If it hadn't been for me, my sister would be here."

"It didn't hurt anymore. I opened my eyes, and she wasn't there. That wasn't unusual- she'd often walk off like this. I was just relieved. But I didn’t see any of her stuff anywhere. When I asked my parents where she was, they gave me a weird look. They didn't know who I was talking about." Malcolm looked up at Ava.
"I can't visit my sister's grave, because she doesn't even have a body. I can't listen to happy stories about her because she left no memories behind. I didn’t kill my sister," he said, the tears gone, "I obliterated her. There is no one who can remember her at with love, because no one remembers her. No student with my sister's name ever came to Hogwarts, or bought a wand at Ollivander's. None of her stuff is left. She no longer exists. The only proof I have, the only way I know for sure that she was real, are these scars. Everything else, every trace, every memory, every document that marked her existence, is completely gone. My sister isn't dead.. She just....never existed." He knew what she was going to say.
"Go ahead, tell me I'm crazy, or a liar," he spat, "That I gave myself the scars and then convinced myself of some crazy story to explain them. That I'm making all this up to gain your sympathy."

(The stiry you are about to hear will sound extremely weird. It may even see like I've been setting all this up, and then couldn't think of what to do next, but these are things that i came up with back when I originally created Malcolm- they are not new or rushed in any way.)

"I was just a kid, and I didn't realize what was really going on. Like I said, I didn't realize that she was crazy. But as I got older, without even realizing it, I was terrified of the summer holidays m when I knew she was coming home. She stayed at school for the other holidays, but she spent the entire summer at home." He was really just rambling at this point,
"But I wasn't a completely dumb kid. Like I said, it started when she came home after her first year, when I was only five. But by the time I was 7 or 8, around the time that my magic was just starting to appear, I'd realized that she was hurting me. She came home that summer, after finishing her 4th year, and I had decided that I was going to tell her that I didn't want to help her anymore. But I never got the chance, I couldn’t say no to her. Wheather she had Charmed me, or I just didn't know how to say no, I'll never know."
Why was he still rambling?
"I don't even know what she was trying to test that time. She poked and proded me, and she was casting some spells. But it didn't really hurt. But, then, suddenly, she I felt like I was being pulled in all different directions, and it hurt. I just wanted it to stop. I wanted her to go away. And....then..." He was having a hard time talking through the tears.

"It must have been incredibly traumatizing," Malcolm said, "Not even being able to do anything. It sounds like you were really young, too."
He sighed. It was time.
"I wish that I could tell you that I killed my sister. That I thought that she'd really hurt me, and I attacked her in self-defense, maybe in a ast of premature magic, and then she died." He knew it sounded horrible, and she was probably just about ready to run. He couldn’t bring himself to look at her and see.
But it was the truth, and she'd understand.
"If I'd killed her, I could defend myself. I could say to myself- and to others- that it was in self-defence, that I didn’t have a choice and if I hadn't then she would've eventually killed me. I would be able to go to her grave, apologize, beg her for forgiveness," he explained, "I could talk about her with my family, and we could reminisce happy memories of her." This was so hard. How could he admit the awful truth- how could she even believe such a thing? She'd think that he was either evil, insane, or a liar.
"But I can't do any of that. Because, much as I might wish it, I didn't kill her. I doomed her to a fate far worse than any death or torture could possibly be."

"So where do you stay in the summer?" Not on the streets surely.
"If you don't mind telling me, how did your parents die?"
He worried that she would think he was saying it nonchalantly, as though he didn't care. He did care, He wanted to tell her what happened to his sister. Would she judge him? Of course. But before he could take that leap, he had to know her story.

"It's hard, watching someone you love die right in front of you," Malcolm said with a sigh, "Because I did love her, despite everything that she did to me. Nobody, not even the most evil person imaginable, deserves todie the way she did, and she wasn't evil. She was just....insane."
He had never, ever told anyone what had happened to his sister. Not even his parents. No one would ever believe it. They would try to explain it away, any other way. Because the truth was just that horrible to be conceivably possible.

Www

Werent we still doing one?

Kaitlyn wrote: "I have Ava (6th year Hufflepuff) that I've been wanting to role-play with. Would you want to role-play Julian? You can pick the location and start, and I'll meet ya there! Thanks Lily."

Isn't ava rping with malcolm?

I've got pixie, nan and rapier

{Name}Rapier Rodent Jordan
{Blood Status} If you must know, she's a half-blood
{Age}15
{Year}5
{House}Hufflepuff
{Appearance} olive-toned skin, BRIGHT blue eyes, cropped black hair
{Personality} Rather abrupt and brutally honest, she doesn't like being judged by arbitrary things such as blood status or appearance, but is quick to judge anyone (including herself) based on personality traits. She (like all Hufflepuffs) is fiercely loyal, and loves every single aspect of Hogwarts, form the students and teachers, to the paintings and ghosts, to the halls, stairways, and rooms themselves. She inherited a love of all things funny from her parents, so be wary of pranks galore when hanging out with her.
{Strengths}Loyalty, friendliness, and a heart of gold
{Weaknesses}Can get kind of cynical, tends to be judgmental, a bit of a bossy-boots, and doesn't listen to anyone else.
{History}Rap (See if you can guess where the name came from) grew up in a small countryside village, daughter of a loud joke-loving wizard father and a clever prank-pulling muggle mother, she grew up in a house never lacking in laughter. Her childhood best friends were Fred and Roxanne Weasley, and she grew as the only girl in 9 kids.
Family:
Father: Lee Jordan
Mother: unknown muggle girl
Siblings: She's got eight little brothers, but none of them are at Hogwarts yet.
Likes: Hogwarts, pranks, her family, her friends.
Dislikes: Snobs, jerks, as especially players (ugh!). So why can't she get a certain irritating playboy out of her head?!?! (Not that she'd ever in a million years admit such a thing.)

Kaitlyn, can you update at WWW?

I've got Pixie Grayson ( 1st year Slytherin), Laurence A. Knight (6th year Gryffindor), or Nan Dursley (4th year Ravenclaw)

"It's a bit more complicated than that. She had me get certain ingredients than were dangerous without thinking to warn me. She haphazardly used certain spells without worrying about aftereffects. She Wasn't trying to hurt me, I was merely a casualty of war. But none of that was worth what happened to her."

"I have- had- a sister. She was 7 years older than me and went to Hogwarts when I was 4. But for her, magic was something to be studied and explored, something that must have an explanation we can understand. She thought that Hogwarts would teach that, but she came home that year feeling frustrated. It made me sad, even if I didn't know why, to see my kind, cheerful sister so sad. I offered, in that sweet, childish way, to help her if she needed anything. Her eyes lit up, and it wasn't long before I realized I'd made the worst mistake of my life. How was I to know my sister had gone insane?"