Megan’s Comments (group member since Sep 05, 2017)

Megan’s comments from the Life Without Ed® (with Jenni!) group.

I am so glad this thread got started! Thank Jenni!

I didn't find out I struggled with PTSD until a few years ago. It was a big reason why my ED became so strong right before my husband and I got married. I'm not going to say treatment was easy, because it wasn't. It was terrible and I hated waking up each day knowing I had to relive what happened, BUT I got through it with my doctor and husband by my side! They never gave up on me, like I never gave up on myself. That treatment saved my life and was a huge turning point for me AND our marriage! I still have some "triggers" with specific things, but I'm leading my life now how I want it and I'm not terrified of everything and everyone. Jenni's song "She blames herself" helped me a lot, and still does when I start questioning things again. Though it's not exactly what happened to me, I still find peace every time I hear it.

Know you can and WILL get through this. It is so so hard, but also so so soooo worth it!

Jenni wrote: "Eileen wrote: "Can we make this thread be a haven for finding inspiration? Inspiring words, videos, thoughts, ideas, questions, reminders, quotes, etc?..."

I LOVE this idea! Thank you!

If anyone..."

Jenni wrote: "Eileen wrote: "Can we make this thread be a haven for finding inspiration? Inspiring words, videos, thoughts, ideas, questions, reminders, quotes, etc?..."

I LOVE this idea! Thank you!

If anyone..."


Thanks Jenni! I will definitely look! I'm excited to see all the other songs and things as well. Music helps me so much

That's a GREAT ideal Eileen! I hope we can! My doctor actually shared a song with me today, it's called "Mended" by Matthew West! It makes me feel so positive!

This part of your book helped me SO much and is the one part I remembered when I first read it a LONG time ago. My therapist here actually had me sit down multiple times in opposing chairs and talk with ED. I would switch seats whenever I wanted to say something or "ED" did. I tried journaling a conversation as well. Weirdly enough it always ended with me in the "me" chair. I didn't realize that until my doctor pointed it out. It's exhausting, it usually ended up in tears and shaking and I always needed a nap after, but it really helped me separate my thoughts from EDs thoughts. It's taken me awhile to be able to recognize when ED is talking and when I did, I still wanted to listen to him. I call it a him haha. With each time I challenged him though it became more and more clear that it was disordered thinking.

I'm not sure why, but I call my OCD thoughts "Odd" and Perfectionism thoughts, "Perf". Weird, I know!

Weirdly enough, I actually caught myself comparing myself to another lady in an elevator I was in while going to my nutritionist appointment. I even said in my head, "I wish I was that skinny" but surprisingly caught myself and chuckled because I knew was "ED" was doing. Which everyone gave me weird looks after that haha! Whenever that happened, I'd think about it for days and days and stress about how I could get like that. Now, though I'm still working on positive body image with myself, I'm hearing ED and the sick things he says to me AND I'm working on changing it.

The rules is something I am currently working on, its SO hard to change them, but I know I can. I just have to keep working at it. I have so many rules with perfectionism, eating and everything you can think of. The one rule I am having most trouble with right now is, a scale just shows you one thing about your body. It's just a number and I need to focus on how I feel physically rather than keep focusing on the scale. It's hard to do, but each day (most of the time) gets easier. Also, another is "red meat is bad"! It still scares me a little, but I had red meat a few days ago and oh my gosh I've been missing out. I'm ready to try that burger when my husband gets home from deployment this month!

Hi guys! My name Is Megan and I'm a 29 year old native Texan. My husband is in the Army so we are currently in Georgia, but most of my family lives in the Austin area. I miss it so much! I have a ONE YEAR OLD daughter. I still can't believe it, especially after being told I most likely couldn't get pregnant because of how much damage I did to my body. I am actually coordinating my first NEDA Walk here and I'm super excited! I was diagnosed with anorexia around age 9 and finally started good recovery a few years ago when I met the treatment team that I have now. I was also diagnosed with PTSD from a rape that happened a long time ago that continued for awhile. My team saved my life, and can never thank them enough. I love animals, photography and blogging. I actually have my own blog site now which is fun! I'm in the works of a possible photography business, maybe?? I went to Texas State University for 3 years and was majoring in psychology and minoring in theater. I never finished because of how sick I got again, but I plan to one day! I also love speaking about my story and the dangers of eating disorders to schools. I've spoken with 3 medical classes with my doctor, as well as 3 different schools during all their health classes. I'm so so afraid to do it, but when I do and I help someone understand, it makes it all worth it. I'm hoping to speak more in the future. know I don't want to be a doctor, but I want to help those with ED's, just not sure how!