Nafisa’s Comments (group member since Feb 27, 2010)

Nafisa’s comments from the Q&A with Nafisa Haji, author of The Writing on My Forehead group.

Hi Robin, thanks for the congratulations, by the way.

Paan is an acquired taste, something I've never acquired a liking for, though it's fun and mysterious to see them being prepared. All the foods listed are street foods sold and served from stalls all over Karachi. Gola gandas are snowcones. Recently, in San Francisco, I saw a little Indian ice cream shop (in the mission, Bombay something or other) that sells pani puri. In Karachi, there are "upscale" places that now serve all these street foods using bottled water for those with adventurous palates who don't (wisely) want to take risks with the effects on their stomaches.

Robin wrote: "Hello Nafisa~I was moved by your inclusion of the homeless community in your novel. Your character Magda put a face on the homeless and your sensitive writing of the character suggests some familia..."

Hi Robin,

Not in any working sense, no. Though the neighborhood where I taught in inner city Los Angeles was blocks away from a major shelter and many of the students at the school were officially categorized as homeless. I do have some vicarious exposure, however, because my sister is the director of a shelter in the Bay Area....

Nafisa wrote: "Loretta wrote: "What are you currently reading? Do yoou belong to any writing or reading groups?"

Oh...forgot to say what I was reading currently. Always several things at a time. Right now,..."

Speaking of which, I will have to sign off for the evening to go get back into my Southern accent for "Mockingbird" as my son heads into bedtime. I will be checking in regularly over the course of the next couple of weeks. It was such a pleasure to interact for tonight and thank you all so much for the excellent questions!!

Peace and love,
Nafisa

Loretta wrote: "What are you currently reading? Do yoou belong to any writing or reading groups?"

Oh...forgot to say what I was reading currently. Always several things at a time. Right now, some nonfiction research stuff about slavery. Also, rereading Dorothy Dunnett's Niccolo series. And Abraham Verghese's "Cutting for Stone." Last but not least, I am reading "To Kill a Mockingbird" aloud with my son.

M wrote: "Are you working on something now and what is it? thank you for your inspiration!"

Yes. I've finished a draft of a new novel which I'm waiting to get back into revising with my editor. If all goes as scheduled, it will come out some time next year.

Loretta wrote: "What are you currently reading? Do yoou belong to any writing or reading groups?"

I don't belong to any writing groups, although a friend has recently suggested starting one. As for reading groups, also no. I've been invited to join a few, but I have some kind of weird rebellious streak that prevents me from reading books I'm "assigned" and which I "have" to finish by a certain date.

Loretta wrote: "What are your favorite books and authors ? Which ones inspired you the most?"

Always a toughie, because I have very eclectic taste and love to read so much that it's almost painful to have to narrow down. You'll have noticed the Jane Austen references in the book--so she would be in a top ten list, if I were forced to make one. I love Mark Twain, too. I love historical fiction, Dorothy Dunnett, especially, and Mary Stewart. Among contemporary writers, I love Dave Eggers and Barbara Kingsolver and Michael Chabon and Anne Tyler and Nick Hornby...you see my problem? I could go on and on!

Claiming influences is a hard thing to do without sounding grandiose and presumptuous because I think influence can only ever be aspirational. The truth is, all the books I've ever loved have probably seeped into my skin in one way or another.

M wrote: "You said you incorporated "true events" with fiction. was it difficult to incorporate true situations into the story knowing you might get some critizism from your family or did that possibility ne..."

Another great question....I think this is a question I answer very differently now than I would have years ago, when I started novels, but didn't finish them. When I was younger, I think I was much more afraid of what people--strangers and family alike--thought of me. It's one of the best kept secrets of getting older--even if the skin starts to sag a little--I'm much more comfortable in it and far less likely to care what others think, as long as I'm being truthful to who I am.

Thanks!

Thanks!
I tend to write a novel chronologically, from "once upon a time" until about halfway through, when I usually get stuck. That's a painful moment. Then, I go back to the beginning and start again, incorporating new with old. Finally, when I'm done, I go back again and edit/revise. That's the part where all the roughness gets rubbed off and the story goes from a big blob to something more refined, like a big piece of marble honed down to reveal the features of who the statue represents. The story is always greatly changed in that revision process. But revision, too, is hard. It feels like pulling a loose thread and watching something unravel completely, causing panic! But I've learned to trust the characters and to listen and not give into the panic. Giving into the panic, I know from past experience, is a way to NOT finish a novel....

Great question! Without going into grand, spoiler territory, it is interesting to see how many people have assumed the whole story is absolutely true. To get the answer to that question out of the way, none of the contemporary twists and turns in the plot are real. Saira's perspective, and Ameena's for that matter, are both informed by my experiences growing up, but none of what happened to them actually happened to me. The older stories, however, have elements of "truth" in them. Without giving anything away, for example, the "fan incident" actually happened with my mother and her sister, the combatants being their grandmother and aunt. Also, my grandfather made my grandmother wear sleeveless sari blouses, inviting comment from one of her in-laws. Close family members know enough about me to know what is fiction. But distant relatives have come up with some interesting theories. Some, I have heard, refer to the characters in the book by the names of real-life relatives that they assume they're based on. It amuses more than bothers--just to see how inaccurate the guesses tend to be.

Bearing in mind that it all happened during naptime and on weekends--and that major, major revisions happened along the way, and that I did start working full time in between and part time before that, it took about six years...

Met people like that? I think I've come close to being like that on many occasions....holding forth and lecturing is what I'm known for in my family, since I was young. I've been gradually working myself out of the habit, trying to live a little less in the mind, where self-righteousness abounds, and more in the now where wonder and curiosity are what it's all about. And you're absolutely right--not at all easy to deal with, are we?

Thank you!
I have had the most interesting memories/stories related to foreheads and writings come up in discussing this book. One woman told me of a Native American Shaman who brushed a feather on her forehead, which she was reminded of by the title. Others have wondered if it was a religious book, thinking the title referred to the mark of the beast in the Bible. There's no doubt that all cultures seem to give importance to the forehead on a spiritual level--positive and negative. Think of the Hindu tradition. Or of Ash Wednesday. On the Indian Subcontinent and in Iran and in the Arab world, the writing on one's forehead is a reference to destiny or kismat.

I think you mean Shuja. Ah--the what comes after question! I'm not trying to be a tease, but the truth is, I really don't know. What I love about your question is that I have come to see a generational gap in how readers feel the answer to it should be. In my own family, younger women tend to go "Ew, no way!" and older women tend to want them to end up together. I guess I'm somewhere in between....

Great question. I thought I did. But then the book took over and the characters changed everything around. Those pesky characters tend to do that. But I must admit, the story that emerged, as different as it was from what I started out with, was much better.

I think/hope there are. In most cases, cross-generational interaction is more common there because of the strength and bonds of extended families. Most children, girls and boys, grow up in joint family households, with aunts and uncles and grandparents all under the same roof. And because there is more segregation between sexes, something that varies to some extent from family to family, but generally true in terms of religious gatherings and social interactions, the bond between girls and aunts/grandmothers is strong. Stories/gossip gets passed down through the generations and this serves both purposes, depending on the specific women involved and their experiences, of reinforcing traditional culture as well as offering insight and inspiration for change. In my own experience, I have seen women in many families who are loud and powerful voices and role models for the girls in their families.

Yup, Ali's my guy. And yes, yes, yes....very fortunate, all along the way. The original plan/schedule for me writing was that I would work on a novel after starting a family--what a newbie mistake, eh! Thinking that having a baby in the house would actually allow for enough time in between to just whip out a book. So, six years of me not working later, I decided it was time to go and help earn our living and return to the classroom (which I also love, by the way!) But, the itch to write wasn't gone and Ali is the one who talked me into not going back to teach when I'd been back at work full time for a year. That school year hadn't ended and we had a book deal, so the stars seemed to agree with him.

I love your question--a seemingly yes/no question that is way more complicated than either/or--my favorite kind. I really think it depends on many things. Believe it or not, for immigrants from the Indian Subcontinent, "assimilation" to Western culture often begins before ever leaving home, one of the residues of the British Empire. So, depending on how "westernised" a family might be or not be more or less restrictive. Add to that mix the pretty intense focus on education and college and again the answer is a complicated one. Also, the fact that first-genners are growing up and role modeling all kinds of levels of participation in mainstream American society makes many things more acceptable. I think the line in the sand is mostly defined by the "westernization" dynamic that begins before getting here, which, in turn, relates to some extend to socioeconomics, too.

No, I am a chicken-hearted, arm-chair political pundit and confirmed couch potato who happens to love and admire the globetrotting journalists I read and follow on alternative media and DemocracyNow!
Thanks for the praise....