Kate’s Comments (group member since Dec 09, 2010)

Kate’s comments from the Creative Writing group.

Sorry it's been forever :( I just couldn't really think of anything to post, especially since we just started the story and I'm still trying to feel out my character and the setting. So even though it's short, I hope my post helps us keep on rolling and get this story going :)

"Finally," Gwen breathed, rolling her eyes as she watched the firemen give the go for the tenants to begin filing back inside the complex. Unable to stand around idly and stare at the neighbors she didn't nor wanted to know, she had taken a stroll to a coffee place down the street. She thought she had killed enough time and returned a while later only to find that the officers were taking a longer time to let the tenants back in due to the curious fact that no signs of a fire had been found.

Not really wanting to share an elevator, Gwen rounded back around the building towards the fire escape instead of heading inside. She was nonchalant, but instantly alert when she heard the unmistakable sound of footsteps on gravel.

"Yuck." Gwen wrinkled her nose as she surveyed the broken garbage bag and it's contents before shifting her attention to the woman standing amongst it. She started to say something snarky about the woman's taste in recreation when she noticed the tense look of fear on her face.

"You alright?" she asked cautiously, a hand tightening on the strap of her bag as she glanced around the dumpster, looking for anyone else that might be around.

Sorry it took me forever :/

Please…help me….please

BANG

Gwen jolted awake, her heart pounding as she wildly looked around the room to get her bearings. The cold cellar from her dream slowly melted away to reveal the familiar sight of her small apartment. She was on the old couch, tangled in blankets and books where she had crashed earlier that day. She rubbed her eyes wearily as she forced her breathing to even, wondering if the dream would ever fade with time.

She doubted it.

With a sigh she glanced out the window, pulling the dark drapes back to reveal the twilight sky edged with cityscape, the sun barely visible above the horizon before it faded away. She watched the dark city as if she was searching for everything and yet nothing. She traced the outlines of buildings with her finger on the glass, staring into the alleyways as if she knew their deepest secrets.

So caught up in her study of the dark buildings she almost didn’t respond to the blaring siren of the fire alarm. Reluctantly she pulled herself from the window and cracked open her door, peeking out at the panicked tenants rushing from their rooms and towards the stairs. She smiled ever so slightly, a condescending smirk before she retreated back to her room. Within seconds she had a packed bag in her hand, pulled from the closet next to the front door, and was stuffing more items into it as she systematically went from the living room to her bedroom. With the last few essentials zipped up she opened the window next to her bed and stepped out onto the rickety fire escape. The tenants has long ago been told to never use the crisscross network of metal ladders and stairs, one feature of the old apartment building that had been scheduled to be repaired but was never accomplished. With the bag slung over her back Gwen made her way down the thirteen stories of dangerous metal, keeping close to the building as she followed her memorized safe path down. But on the third floor she paused, something catching her eye. There was a man, disheveled and unkempt, pacing his apartment with the door wide open. No one passed outside, the rest of the floor must have been cleared by now. And yet he paced, muttering and glancing at a shiny black trash bag sitting by the door. Gwen leaned in for a closer look, because it almost seemed like the trash bag had moved.

Unfortunately her shift in weight did not settle well on the old fire escape. When she heard the groan of twisted metal she hurried on down the rest of the way, being extra cautious of her footing. When she finally jumped off to land softly in the gravel below she glanced upwards as if she could still see inside the window. “Creeper,” she murmured, shaking her head before she straightened and headed to the edge of the courtyard where the rest of the tenants were gathering.

Name: Gwen Chayse
Apartment: 13G
Age (or apparent age): 25
Appearance: Medium build, about 5'8" with honey brown shoulder length hair. Narrow oval face with dark brows and dark brown eyes.

Occupation (or apparent occupation): Clerk at a used bookstore
General attitude/behavior: At work she is friendly and personable; regular customers like her because she always seems to know what they are looking for and where it can be found. She appears to be innocent and gullible though that is only the mask she shows the world. When alone she is calculating and serious, hiding secrets entrusted to her by those who have long since passed.
Personality traits or msc info: Intelligent and dedicated, she has a masters in archeology and specified in mythology.

I don't know if this was Dana's intention or not, but what I understood from her post was that the mention of creatures was kind of just an introduction to the kind of world we are creating and not necessarily the center of the story. So I think we should just write and see what happens

And I'm still working on a character. I'll try to have it up and post tonight :)

So how shall we continue in Forbidden waters? Or should we put that on hold while we get the new story going?

I went ahead and made this so we could talk about it :)

I love the intro, Dana! It sounds very intriguing and mysterious!

This discussion thread is going to be remain under the Character Writing topic because of easy access when writing.
This thread is also to be used for discussing the story of "Jacob's Brood" and clear up any ideas/dialog/ or other parts written that need to be talked about in depth so the other members who are writing have a clearer understanding of what has already been written.
As always please do not discuss upcoming evens or ask someone to do something in their writing. ~Everyone has equal say in control of the story~

Agreed! I've been so busy with school and work I didn't think that I had time to write, but now that I look back, I realize that writing could have been my escape from all the chaos! Hindsight is always 20/20 :/

So with the ending of Forbidden Waters, are you still working on the ending? Or do we need to post a little more?

Oh how I have missed the both of you! Thank you, Dana, for sending me a message :)

I have not forgotten about this story, my life has just been really hectic lately and I haven't had the time to do goodreads lately. But I think working on completing Forbidden Waters will be a nice stress reliever and I miss our characters!

And I would LOVE to start a new story! What's your idea, Dana?

I hope you are both well! Please forgive me for my absence. I will make a commitment to be back for good. I have missed writing and I may be a little rusty, but I will do my best!

"Give it back!" Mela's big grey eyes watered with anger as she glared up at her big brother. "You promised you wouldn't touch it!"

Alden laughed heartily, his boyish features only beginning to mature into that of a man's. He looked down at his sister, barely fourteen years old, as he waved the seashell above her head. "What's the matter, Mels, afraid I'll break it?"

He pretended to drop it and was rewarded with Mela's high pitched scream. He caught it effortlessly and gave it back to her. "Aw come on, Mela, you know I could never hurt you like that."

"Could have fooled me," she snarled, snatching it back before she ran away into the trees away from the village. She spent hours wandering the forest, skirting the edge of the lake as she avoided going back home to her family. She hated them, wanted to never to have to go back. She just wanted to stay here, at the lake. She didn't have the courage yet to approach it's shores, but she longed for it. She watched the fading light of the sun bounce across the surface of the water. She sighed, holding the shell tighter before she took the long way back.

As she approached their small hut she could hear her father's voice and flinched, knowing that if he was in one of his moods no one would go unscathed tonight, either by his words or by his fists. After a moment of listening she entered, making as little noise as possible.

"It should have been done!" Her father was shaking in anger, staring hard down at his son who was sitting at the table looking properly chastised. "I know, father. I promise to get it done before the chores in the morning."

"It better be." Mela watched their father turn and flinched when he slammed his bedroom door behind him. Alden didn't look at her, only played with a knot in the wood of the table. After a moment of hesitation she took his hand and tugged him to the small bedroom they shared. "You took the fall for me, didn't you?" she finally whispered, hugging him tight. In her anger and desire to escape the village she had abandoned her chores and left them to Alden.

She felt a soft laugh rumble through his chest as he gave her a tight bear hug. "I'd do anything for you, Mels, promise. Don't ever forget that."


Mela gasped as she tried to push back the flooding memories. It was hard to concentrate on the task at hand, to follow the others to find the camp. But since leaving her at the lake and regaining her memories it was harder and harder to keep them at bay. She only hoped they could reach it in time to save Alden, to save her brother. To save everyone.








"So you really betrayed us?" Alden murmured, his grey eyes cold as he eyed Garren. "All this time, you were working for him! How could you do this to us? To the lake? How could you have no honor?!" He wracked his mind, trying to find a way out to save his friends. He spun the dagger in his fingers but he couldn't find a way out. Garren held all the cards and if what he said was true, it was too late. And with a flick of his wrist he threw the dagger at his former commander.

Sorry I've been MIA lately :(

First I didn't have the internet and then everything just got crazy lately. I've missed this story so much!! I promise that I'll be better to post more often and not abandon you guys again!

Woot! I'm getting the internet tomorrow :) So maybe a post tomorrow night from Mela or Alden muahahahaha

And it will be a relief from essays! I might be able to post tonight. I've got a lot to do to finish by tomorrow for school finals, but maybe posting might give me something to look forward to :P We'll see.

How's everything going with you guys? I miss this so much :( I'm glad that this semester is ending this week so I won't be so stressed out!

I'm sorry, I still don't have internet so it's hard for me to post. Please don't wait for me, I'll post as soon as I can but I don't want to hold you guys up.

I have some ideas but nothing that has to be posted right this moment.

I'm so sorry I haven't posted ;( But I'd like to be able to post something worthwhile and I just can't right now. Hopefully within the next week :)

I LOVE IT!!!!! :P

Sorry I haven't posted in a while! I've been busy with school, plus I moved. So right now I don't have internet set up, but hopefully I'll have it sometime next week. I promise I'll post as soon as I can :)

I miss this story so much! I'm glad it's progressing and i'm starting to get more ideas

I'm definitely not losing interest! I'm sorry I haven't been posting much, but I've been working a lot more lately and school is really intense right now and I haven't had a lot of time to sit down and write proper posts. I could post a lot more but I really try to wait until I can write one that is decent.

I definitely see this story going a lot deeper. We've opened so many doors that we haven't even touched yet. I love it!

If it's not too bold to discuss, then I think it should be the latter, set it up for a grander arc. I'm not ready for this story to end, and I don't think it is either! There's so much we haven't explored yet and our characters are just starting to develop.

What say you?