Russell’s Comments (group member since Apr 28, 2011)

Russell’s comments from the Extremely Loud and Not Close. Group 5 group.

In life secrets take on a variety of different meanings. The typical motivation for secrets to be made is selfish drives on the part of the secret-maker, for example a husband keeping his affairs hidden from his wife to protect his marriage. However, in the novel Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close many of the characters in the story withhold secrets from each other, not out of this selfish drive, but out of a sort of misguided love. Many of the secrets that the characters in the family keep from each other are painful and should be shared with each other however they persevere and keep the secrets to themselves.

A prime example of the misguided love that is expressed through the secret making in the novel is when Oskar decides to hide the messages that his father left on the answering machine right before he died, fearing that the pain of listening to them would hurt his mother. Although trying to protect his mother, Oskar should have let his mother hear the messages because in the end it was revealed that his father did end up relaying the same message to her. If Oskar were to have revealed the messages to her it would have lessened the burden that Oskar had put on himself and also provide him with another person that he could have talked to about his pain.

In addition to Oskar’s misguided idea to hide the messages from his mother his grandmother also decided to keep the identity of his grandfather a secret from him. Although it can be seen as a sense of love that she hides his identity from Oskar because he had hurt her by leaving without telling her it is led astray. Oskar has the right as her grandson to know who his grandfather is and his grandfather also desperately wants to be a part of Oskar’s life. Separating the two is almost impossible and in the end the two end up working together to settle their feelings with the loss of Oskar’s father. Although his grandmother means well to try and protect Oskar from getting hurt from his grandfather, it turns out that his grandfather was the one person he needed. He has lacked a male role model after the death of his father and who no better to try to fill that void then his grandfather. Even though his grandmother meant well in the end it was something that was not meant to be a secret. Even his grandmother after finding out that Oskar and his grandfather have been coming into contact allowed the relationship to continue.

Besides some of the secrets that were kept out of a misguided love some would argue that the secrets made weren’t out of misguided love but were logical and should have been kept. Oskar’s mother who although one would think would be concerned that her 9 year old son is wandering around New York City by himself, nonchalantly lets him go without question. The reason being that she knows about Oskar’s little quest and has been calling every one of the Blacks on the list and letting them know ahead of time, contrary to Oskar’s belief of her ignorance. Oskar’s mom keeps this a secret as a way of letting Oskar vent his feelings and also as a means to try to hold on to that sense of closeness that he has with his father. Instead of crushing his hope that maybe there was some sort of relationship with the key and his father, his mother allows him to keep participating on his quest and actually ends up overseeing it. It is her way of expressing her love to Oskar because if she told Oskar that she knew about it he would feel demoralized and distance himself farther away from her because he already feels as if she doesn’t understand the significance of the loss. Being secretive about facilitating Oskar’s quest is her way of showing that she loves Oskar very much and understands that the loss of his father also takes a big toll on her as well.

Although it seems that Oskar’s mother had made a good judgment by facilitating Oskar’s quest in secret, it is actually more detrimental to him. In the end Oskar finally finds the meaning and purpose of the key and is left in a state of confusion and remorse which he had in the beginning of the quest. Letting him pursue his quest has made no progress in terms of healing or coping with the loss, it was only a temporary solution to a permanent problem. In the end Oskar ended up in that same state of longing for his father which the quest temporarily soothed but did not cure. In the end his mother should have confronted him about the key and deal with the loss instead of displaying the sense of misguided love by allowing him to search provided no sense of improvement.

In the novel, although plausible that secrets were kept out of love there is much more evidence that shows that many of the secrets were kept out of a misguided love. Such as how Oskar decides that he knows that the messages he hides from his mom will hurt her and decides to take it upon him to bear the burden of keeping the messages. Oskar’s grandmother also makes a similar mistake by trying to keep Oskar and his grandfather separated because she fears that he will hurt Oskar like he hurt her when in reality Oskar and his grandfather needed each other as a support system. Even Oskar’s mother who although seemingly made a good judgment by keeping her knowledge of Oskar’s quest a secret is also flawed because in the end the meaning to the key was pointless and was only a temporary solution to a permanent problem. It is through the secrets that the characters keep from each other that, although, on the surface seem to have been beneficial, only reflect the misguided love that they share towards one another.

I think we have read that far but I'm not entirely sure.

While Oskar is trying to go search for the meaning of the key he encounters a bunch of different people each with their own unique personality and life story.

I thought that by incorporating a bunch of little encounters with different people it really shows that although Oskar is focused on trying to find the meaning to the key there are a bunch of other people who are trying to sort through their own problems such as how Abby Black was going through a divorce when Oskar met her. Through the different interactions that Oskar has on his quest it really sheds some light on the idea that Oskar although he has his own problems there are other people out their with their own problems too contributing to the theme that the world doesn't really revolve around an individual person.

What did you guys think?

About Mr. Black I guess I'll just try to play the devil's advocate but when he finally decides to stop helping Oskar with his quest doesn't Oskar seem to want to stop and instead causes Oskar more anger and frustration?

I think Oskar is probably pretty similar to both because both his grandparents don't really seem to vent their emotion at all, they just internalize it and let it pass. However Oskar does do some external venting I guess by his means of bruising himself and thinking of inventions but for the most part I think he stays very controlled in his emotions just like his grandparents.

In the novel Foer constantly brings up the letter that Stephen Hawking wrote back to Oskar in response to one of the letters that he sent him. What is the meaning of this constant repetition? Is it just to show the thought process that Oskar is having at that moment and that something had caused him to think about the letter? Or does it have deeper implications?

In my opinion I think that Oskar would be able to move on and not dwell on the past like his grandparents do. I feel that by trying to find the answer to his questions about the key he's trying to hold on to that last little mystery that his dad left him and that by constantly searching for the key he feels closer to him. But I don't think that Oskar will dwell on the past I think that once he finds out the answer to the mystery of the key he will feel a sense of satisfaction, recognize the tragedy that had befallen on him and ultimately move on with a renewed perspective on life.