Ian’s Comments (group member since Jan 02, 2012)

Ian’s comments from the Q&A with Ian Morgan Cron group.

hi.

So glad!!!

Hi Phil,

The contemplatives and mystics tend to write best on this subject. My favorite would be Thomas Merton. He's my hero.

The prayer of the Jesuit priest Teillard de Chardin moves me deeply.

"Above all, trust in the slow work of God.
We are quite naturally impatient in everything
to reach the end without delay.
We should like to skip the intermediate stages.
We are impatient of being on the way
to something unknown,
something new.
Yet it is the law of all progress that is made
by passing through some stages of instability
and that may take a very long time.
And so I think it is with you.
Your ideas mature gradually. Let them grow.
Let them shape themselves without undue haste.
Do not try to force them on
as though you could be today what time
-- that is to say, grace --
and circumstances
acting on your own good will
will make you tomorrow.
Only God could say what this new Spirit
gradually forming in you will be.
Give our Lord the benefit of believing
that his hand is leading you,
and accept the anxiety of feeling yourself
in suspense and incomplete.
Above all, trust in the slow work of God,
our loving vine-dresser.
Amen."

Its worth buying for your personal library!

Hi Luke, I would definitely start with Merton's spiritual memoir Seven Storey Mountain. Its hard to believe he was only 33 when he wrote this bestselling classic. Slow in one or two places but brilliant. His other works make more sense after you read Seven Storey.

This is a great question and requires a book length answer (many of which have been written. The simplest answer is a person who suffers from the profound emptiness that craves constant approval has 1. often suffered a developmental injury. At a pre-memory age and forward they did not receive "the eyes that see and the face that blesses" from a primary caregiver--they have a mirroring deficit. You did not see in the caregiver's eyes, face, or words that you were beautiful, which triggers the search for this assurance elsewhere. Unfortunately no one else has it so the search is endless. receive which has drawn their value and identity into question and the result is the constant search of affirmation to repair and compensate for it. 2. This perpetual search for approval is an addiction every bit as powerful as an addiction to alcohol. IN part an addiction represents a strategy to get from others what can only be gotten from God. I'm 50 and its only now beginning to wane and recede.
3. You probably are temperamentally setup for it as well. Perhaps you have a sensitive personality that believes it can mind read the feelings of others toward you and you begin to wonder "what it will take to get this person to like me". This causes more shame ("Why am I so willing to become someone else to win this person's love) triggering the approval addiction to kick in. 4. You are a finite creature with infinite longings. Adam received the assurance he was loved from from God but in our present world the supply route has been interrupted. Frankly it will take work in therapy and spiritual direction to learn how to steward this pain for good. It will never entirely go away so befriend and leverage it. NEVER speak in a punishing, angry, or shaming tone to this broken child who lives inside you anymore than you would to one of your own children (if you have any right now). Practice self-compassion which is oddly something Christians suck at doing. The Buddhists are much better at it. A great book for you would be Addiction and Grace by Gerald May.

I can be both. Right now I'm spending so much time getting the word out about this new book that I'm not writing very much. BUT when I have a contract and a deadline I become insanely disciplined. Its like I said in the book, I'm an on-off switch...not a dimmer.

Hi Brandon--great to hear from you. Your ministry sounds intriguing. Glad you've joined us and look forward to the conversation.

My fave Merton is Conjectures of a Guilty Bystander and New Seeds of Contemplation, but I love others as well.

Hi Darrell,

I reread all three of Buechner's memoirs before I started my own. Wendell Berry's voice is like shaker furniture--so simple and elegant. As for Merton--what can I say--arguably the greatest religious genius of the 20th century. Do you enjoy him as well?

Hi Jim, I wish I could have written more about my relationship with my wife and kids but I felt I had to remain doggedly focused on my relationship with my father and not go down another trail. I also wanted to write more about my mother but chose not to for the same reasons. I'll write another memoir one day and include this material. Great question!

John Irving, Oscar Hijuelos, Flannery O'Connor, Dostoevsky, Albert Camus, Wendell Berry, Frederick Buechner, Thomas Merton, Evelyn Waugh, Graham Greene, Shusaku Endo, Wallace Stegner, Evelyn Underhill, St. John of the Cross, Annie Dillard, Somerset Maugham, Richard Rohr, Jean Vanier, Archbishop Rowan Williams, Gerald May.

Any questions you've been wanting to ask about the book?

I like speaking about the process and experience of writing memoirs, my influences, the creative's day, spirituality, and addictions. Questions?

Welcome! Tell me about yourself and what inspired you to join the group.