Laura’s Comments (group member since Apr 12, 2012)

Laura’s comments from the Bringing Up Bebe Discussion group.

Here's a NY Times article that is germane to this topic especially vis a vis not intervening in children's play: "Orthopedic specialists say they treat a number of toddlers and young children each year with broken legs as a result of riding down slides on a parent's lap." http://nyti.ms/JwO5mB
Okay, my parents never slid down a slide with me. How about you?

Hi, Heather, We all do that, to a degree, don't you think? But maybe just having the thought in our head: I want my child to be comfortable in his/ her own skin ... will help us be more aware of what they are drawn to or want to explore.

What a lively, wonderful discussion. And I'm so grateful to hear you weigh in, Heather, with your experience in childhood education.

As I walked along the beach today I was thinking of another one of french parenting's basic tenets:
"We want our children to be happy in their own skin."
Very simple and very profound.

And Diane, I appreciate the concern for freedom and creativity for our kids, and our desire to innovate and invent. But I'm not sure it's an either/ or question: behaving at mealtimes vs inventing Facebook.

I keep coming back to the philosophy of the "cadre" - having a frame that is secure - and a great deal of freedom within that frame.

And I'm starting to wonder if one of the reasons this book has struck such a profound chord is that it asks us to question our beliefs about freedom. As a child, I benefited from some benign neglect (the much younger caboose in a family of 4) which gave me the alone time and the freedom to become an artist. Is it really freedom to have a resume when you're in High School? Or is that fulfuling someone else's expectations?

A great point and I agree with you. But there are byproducts to a world of overwhelming choice full of possibilities and philosophies such as feeling overwhelmed and anxious.

I think in the US we tend to equate choice with freedom.

Perhaps there are some simple, straightforward commonsense ideas that benefit children and adults as well. But we are all burdened by weighing through a sea of contradictory voices/ choices. Add to that our general ambivalence about authority - other people's and our own -and I think that's a potent recipe for stressed out kids and parents.

One of the things I love about BRINGING UP BEBE is that in France there is a philosophy of child rearing. Here in the US we have a cacophony of opinions which are very difficult to wade through and assess. How do you discover what works? Who should you trust?
Are we drowning in a sea of choices and contradictory "experts"?