Rykel’s Comments (group member since Dec 01, 2012)

Rykel’s comments from the SOME FUN!!!!!!! group.

I'm game

1.reading, writing, solving puzzles.
2.bleach does manga count?
3.the little hours in the day, *sigh* the day needs more.

1.a few hours 1(hour) at least.
2.about 4 or 5
3.3
4.heck yes! I use to
5.meh once in a while if I don't have anything else conjuring or if there's some curious notification.
6.yes! I love to read aspiring authors or..just freelancers,it helps to motivate me into doing some writing of my own.
7.less than 5 hours easy..cake..piece...?

Aleisha wrote: "*no grabbies*
so this is the pro-log to a book im wrighting at the moment. it whould be great to have some feedback and the next few chapters are in the creative writing section of the sight.

I st..."
"A few seconds later I heard the door open and close." I'm assuming this is the front door to a house if so,you need to differentiate between the door of the "van" and the door of the "house"

"A woman sat in the kitchen waiting for us to come home."this could have been omitted,if not then you need to be more definitive"

somewhere between here:"The commotion moved to the other side of the house into the kitchen." and "Footsteps moved quickly to the front door." I not only became confused as to which door the "Assailant" entered through but also well the initial position of the the "Woman".

"He left the front yard, moving behind the house to look for witnesses." Either you're inside the house already which,I assume is the case considering you not only heard the ordeal but also his "footsteps." or this is one dumb criminal.

"Blood filled footprints lead from the kitchen and went straight through the living room." "I knew what was coming next but it was like my feet had a mind of their own. As I got closer to the kitchen.." something weird's going on here.

"I slowly turned around already knew(knowing) what was coming."

I really like your descriptions they have a dramatic macabre feel to them.Good :)