“Pfeffernus flavored aspirin was found to be hideously dangerous, and babies the size of strawberries were being born to women who were known poppers, and these babies had enormous heads the size of spoiling watermelons, and they whispered obscene remarks in sibilant Levantine waterfront pigeon, and they had lidless eyes and leering flaccid mouths, and they were born with pierced ears, and some were even born with garish metallic paper carnival hats. Their mothers felt repugnance at the lewd comments they uttered at breastfeeding time, and their limbs were unsightly thin and curling tendrils, like withered asparagus bottoms, which were covered with the fine prickly hairs, and they coiled and uncoiled continuously like tendrils under the sea, and when these tendrils were fragile, and when they were pinched off they grew right back, clutching insulting greeting cards.”