“We all carry around a Model Me identity of how we want to be seen in the world. Capable, smart, attractive, and yes, empathic are all qualities most of us aspire to embody...a fixed and idealized image. ...

The Not Me we all carry around is a cartoonish devil that sits on our sholder, making us say or do the things we might otherwise find distasteful. It's the voice that says or does things about which we're likely to feel embarrassed or ashamed. When the Not Me voice emerges -- usually out of nowhere -- is when we need to listen carefully."

(pp. 66-67)”