“When you look at your partner today, and every day, you can focus on their flaws, or you can focus on the qualities that make them indispensable to you, wonderful to you, attractive to you. It’s a choice. It’s an active thing you do to fan the flames of long-term love. If you’ve ever lit a fire, you know exactly what we mean—just like a fire, a relationship needs tending. You don’t just leave it alone and hope for the best. You tend it. You add scraps of kindling. You give it a breath of air. That’s what admiration is—an action we do. That we need to remind ourselves to do it doesn’t cheapen it or make it any less genuine. This is how the masters of love do it.”