“Left to my own devices, there was a streak of masochism in my single-minded, obsessive habits. I didn't exercise much, but when I did, it was in gruesome marathons of overexertion. I didn't eat enough, and when I did it was in wild, sobering feasts, remembering that I even had a body. I made myself sick. Unregulated, I would have eventually destroyed myself. Yet even knowing this didn't motivate me to change my ways.”