“I've got a huge, terrible problem."
Oh no! Not that horrible toenail fungus that takes six months to cure?"
No, no, no. Much worse. This is shocking news. Are you sure I should tell you while you're driving?"
I've got my headset on. Both hands on the wheel. Windows rolled up. Go for it."
Okay, here goes...Principal Abernethy called me this morning to let me know I'm in the running for valedictorian."
There is silence.
A rather loudish snort.
And guffaws.
Congratulations," she finally says, laughing. "What ever are you going to do?"
Fail ever assignment from today onward."
You won't be able to."
Watch me.”