“Basically, the difference between cats and dogs is that while you own a dog, the cat owns you. If you throw a stick for a dog, the dog will go and fetch the stick, bring it back and be happy for you to throw it again. If you dared throw a stick for a cat, the cat would look at you as if to say, 'Wow, I guess you really didn't want that stick . . . now get me some food!”