“Anyway, once I mentioned my Dad-sneaked-in-through-a-secret-trapdoor-in-the-deck idea, Beck got a look in her eyes, and I knew: It was time for Twin Tirade No. 426. “Give it up, Bickford. Dad is dead!” “No, he’s not, Rebecca. He’s in The Room.” “No. Way.” “It’s possible.” “Yeah. Just like you facing reality someday. It’s possible.” “I’ll bet he’s in there, right now, lying on the floor.” “He’s dead, Bick.” “No, he’ll just look that way.” “Because he is!” “He’s probably thirsty and hungry, too.” “No, he’s not.” “Of course he is! We should make him a sandwich. Maybe bring him a sports drink.” “He’s not hungry or thirsty, Bickford, because he’s dead. It’s one of the few advantages of dying: You don’t have to eat or drink or do the dishes.” “Rebecca, how can you be so cold and heartless?” “How can you be so sentimental?” “Easy. I have a heart.” “Too bad it’s not pumping blood to your brain, dum-dum.” “Sorry, Mrs. Spock. We can’t all be superlogical like you.” “I’d settle for semilogical.” “Really?” “Yeah.” “Oh. Okay.”