“How could I actually be changing anything, even in myself? My legacy is built into me; I was born to not know, to wonder and let the crispness of my wondering dissolve as I age. I have no choice. I am not on a crusade. My life is happening to me and I am vainly insisting I am the captain. "I am making these brave choices because, at heart, I am a brave person." But I am so flimsy. I am ruined for days at the mention of a name! I bend my back at the first reminder of a hurt feeling. How could I steer anything?”