“There was a time not so long ago when you couldn’t get into Malawi unless you could slide a Coke bottle between your leg and your jeans. You had to stick the bottle in at the waistband and under the watchful gaze of the Malawi police, move it between the denim and your pelvis and down your inside leg until it popped out through the leghole near your foot. The government claimed that it was to protect the country from the moral decline caused by tight jeans.”