“I slammed down on my hip first, followed by my shoulder, followed by my ego. It’s not often that I crash like this, but often enough that I’ve recognized a series of reactions that occurs by instinct rather than reason, which explains why they are so ridiculously misprioritized.

1. First thought: “I’m never riding a bike again.”
2. Pop quickly onto my feet, and then scan for bystanders to assess embarrassment level.
3. Check bike for damage.
4. Check body for damage.”