“I wonder if, in some way, our relationship was predestined from the start; if the reason we stayed together was precisely because that, in me, Paul had found someone who not only lacked that vital strength-giving security (which might have enabled me to leave him early on), but who had no yardstick with which to measure ‘normal’. And that was me. I’d had a strange, loveless, isolated childhood. I lost my mother early on, and of all the essentials I lacked growing up perhaps the most damaging in terms of my relationship choices was that I had no real concept of what constituted ‘normal’ behaviour.”