Victoria > Victoria's Quotes

“I’m not sure I could trust a man who would bypass an Oreo in favor of vanilla wafers. It’s a fundamental character flaw, possibly a sign of true evil.”
― Jonathan Maberry, Patient Zero

“My whole body is a lethal weapon, you know. I know more ways to kill you than you know how to die.”
― Jonathan Maberry, Assassin's Code

“Stupidity isn't punishable by death. If it was, there would be a hell of a population drop.”
― Laurell K. Hamilton, The Laughing Corpse

“Nobody's perfect. Well, there was this one guy, but we killed him....”
― Christopher Moore, Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal

“Just keep asking yourself: What would Jesus not do?”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

“I can't give you the white picket fence, and if I did, you'd set it on fire.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Bleeds

“Maybe I needed sensitivity training. I once signed up for an anger management class, but the instructor pissed me off.”
― Darynda Jones, First Grave on the Right

“You don't cause problems. You cause catastrophes.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Burns

“Memories are bullets. Some whiz by and only spook you. Others tear you open and leave you in pieces.”
― Richard Kadrey, Kill the Dead

“I have a black sense of humor. You try living my life, see what color yours turns.”
― Karen Marie Moning, Dreamfever

“I didn't know what to say to that, so i kept my mouth shut. When in doubt,shut the fuck up.”
― Laurell K. Hamilton, Skin Trade

“My mother once told me that no woman is naked when she comes equipped with a bad mood and a steady glare.”
― Mira Grant, Feed

“Our story opens where countless stories have ended in the last twenty-six years: with an idiot -- in this case, my brother, Shaun -- deciding it would be a good idea to go out and poke a zombie with a stick to see what happens.”
― Mira Grant, Feed

“I suggest it’s time we head off to see the Wizard. The wonderful Wizard of Jesus We Are All So Fucked.”
― Mira Grant, Deadline

“Madness is surprisingly freeing.”
― Mira Grant, Blackout

“Your ability to remain alive never ceases to amaze me.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Burns

“But she wished she had had the guts to go up to him and say hello. Or possibly break his legs, she wasn't sure which.”
― Stieg Larsson, The Girl Who Played with Fire

“She's so small, yet she contains so much evil.”
― Christopher Moore, Fluke: Or, I Know Why the Winged Whale Sings

“You, Ms. Lane, are a menace to others! A walking, talking catastrophe in pink!”
― Karen Marie Moning, Darkfever

“I've got no problem with octopuses. It's bugs and spiders that I don't like. Octopuses are cute, in their own 'nature did a lot of drugs' sort of way.”
― Mira Grant, Deadline

“I may not look like much, but I'm an expert at pretending to be a ninja.”
― Darynda Jones, First Grave on the Right

“Do you drink?"
"Of course,I just said I was a writer.”
― Stephen King

“Use your head; cut off theirs.”
― Max Brooks, Zombie Survival Guide, The: Complete Protection From The Living Dead

“You think you know how this story is going to end, but you don't.”
― Christopher Moore, Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal

“I wondered if I had offended him. I wondered if I cared. ”
― Laurell K. Hamilton

“Never underestimate a well-dressed bimbo.”
― Karen Marie Moning, Shadowfever

“Joshua's ministry was three years of preaching, sometimes three times a day, and although there were some high and low points, I could never remember the sermons word for word, but here's the gist of almost every sermon I ever heard Joshua give.

You should be nice to people, even creeps.
And if you:
a) believed that Joshua was the Son of God (and)
b) he had come to save you from sin (and)
c) acknowledged the Holy Spirit within you (became as a little child, he would say) (and)
d) didn't blaspheme the Holy Ghost (see c)
then you would:
e) live forever
f) someplace nice
g) probably heavan
However, if you:
h) sinned (and/or)
i) were a hypocrite (and/or)
j) valued things over people (and)
k) didn't do a, b, c, and d,
then you were:
l) fucked”
― Christopher Moore, Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal

“An active mind didn't need distractions in its physical environment. It needed a collection of outstanding books and a good lamp. Maybe some cheese and crackers.”
― J.R. Ward, Lover Unbound

“The rabbis paled. I’d managed to terrify holy men. Maybe I could beat up a nun for an encore.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Bleeds

“I've tried to get the angel to watch MTV so I can learn the vocabulary of your music, but even with the gift of tongues, I'm having trouble learning to speak hip-hop. Why is it that one can busta rhyme or busta move anywhere but you must busta cap in someone's ass? Is "ho" always feminine, and "muthafucka" always masculine, while "bitch" can be either? How many peeps in a posse, how much booty before baby got back, do you have to be all that to get all up in that, and do I need to be dope and phat to be da bomb or can I just be "stupid"? I'll not be singing over any dead mothers until I understand.”
― Christopher Moore , Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal