Rakd > Rakd's Quotes

“To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable.”
― Oscar Wilde

“Make it dark, make it grim, make it tough, but then, for the love of God, tell a joke.”
― Joss Whedon

“Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.”
― Elbert Hubbard

“I'm tired of this back-slappin' "isn't humanity neat" bullshit. We're a virus with shoes.”
― Bill Hicks

“We are stuck with technology when what we really want is just stuff that works.”
― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time

“I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck.”
― Bill Hicks

“It's always funny until someone gets hurt.

Then it's just hilarious.”
― Bill Hicks

“The worst kind of non-smokers are the ones that come up to you and cough. That's pretty fucking cruel isn't it? Do you go up to cripples and dance too?”
― Bill Hicks

“The whole image is that eternal suffering awaits anyone who questions God's infinite love. That's the message we're brought up with, isn't it? Believe or die! Thank you, forgiving Lord, for all those options.”
― Bill Hicks

“I personally believe we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain.”
― Jane Wagner, The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe

“My goal in life is to have a psychiatric disorder named after me.”
― Darynda Jones, Fifth Grave Past the Light

“More of your conversation would infect my brain.”
― William Shakespeare, Coriolanus

“The planet is fine. The people are fucked.”
― George Carlin

“The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death! What’s that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you’re too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating …and you finish off as an orgasm.”
― George Carlin

“Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.”
― George Carlin

“That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.”
― George Carlin

“If your kid needs a role model and you ain't it, you're both fucked.”
― George Carlin, Brain Droppings

“Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers. ”
― George Carlin

“How can He be perfect? Everything He ever makes...dies.”
― George Carlin

“People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think.”
― George Carlin

“It's never just a game when you're winning.”
― George Carlin

“I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck. ”
― George Carlin

“I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately. ”
― George Carlin

“There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.”
― George Carlin

“I talk to God but the sky is empty.”
― Sylvia Plath

“let me live, love, and say it well in good sentences”
― Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath

“If we could only find out who's in charge, we could kill him.”
― George Carlin

“Life is tough, then you die.”
― George Carlin

“Reminds me of something my grandfather would say. He'd say, "I'm goin' upstairs to fuck your grandmother." He was an honest man, and he wasn't going to bullshit a four-year-old.”
― George Carlin

“I don't have hobbies; hobbies cost money. Interests are quite free.”
― George Carlin