Ebony > Ebony's Quotes

“Never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

“Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

“If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if the thing is cats.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Wide Window

“Wicked people never have time for reading. It's one of the reasons for their wickedness.”
― Lemony Snicket

“I suppose I'll have to add the force of gravity to my list of enemies.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Penultimate Peril

“Being a detective isn't all about torture and murder and monsters. Sometimes it gets truly unpleasant...The fate of the world may depend on whether or not you can bring yourself to visit your relatives.”
― Derek Landy

“We're not retreating, we're advancing in reverse.' --Skulduggery Pleasant”
― Derek Landy, Playing with Fire

“Vengeous scowled. 'As you can see,' he said, 'you are vastly outnumbered.'

I usually am.'

Your situation has become quite untenable.'

It usually does.'

You are within moments of being swarmed by these filthy creatures of undeath and torn apart in a maelstrom of pain and fury.'

Skulduggery paused. 'Okay, that's a new one on me.”
― Derek Landy, Playing with Fire

“So that plan worked out well."

"Skulduggery, your entire plan consisted of, and I quote, "Let's get up close and then see what happens."'

"All the same," he said, "I think the whole thing worked out rather beautifully.”
― Derek Landy, Playing with Fire

“They say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit," Valkyrie said.

China glanced at her. "They've obviously never met me.”
― Derek Landy, Mortal Coil

“That's beautiful,' Valkyrie said, looking at it.

Isn't it? This necklace has cost two very fine men their lives. At times, I wear it in tribute to their sacrifice. Other times, I wear it because it goes with this skirt.”
― Derek Landy, Playing with Fire

“What is it?' Stephanie whispered.
'That, my dear Valkyrie, is what we call a monster.'
She looked at Skulduggery. 'You don't know what it is, do you?'
'I told you what it is, it's a horrible monster. Now shut up before it comes over here and eats us.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“He looked at her. 'In order to finish, I'll have to have defeated six Infected, Dusk, and Vengeous himself.'

Yeah. So?'

The Infected I can manage.'

She frowned. 'And Vengeous? I mean, you can beat him, right?'

Well,' he said, "I can certainly try. And trying is half the battle.'

What's the other half?'

He shrugged. 'Hitting him more times than he hits me.”
― Derek Landy, Playing with Fire

“Stairs," Valkyrie said, disappointed.
"Not just ordinary stairs," Skulduggery told her as he led the way down. "Magic stairs."
"Really?"
"Oh, yes."
She followed him into the darkness. "How are they magic?"
"They just are."
"In what way?"
"In a magicky way."
She glared at the back of his head. "They aren't magic at all, are they?"
"Not really.”
― Derek Landy, Mortal Coil

“We didn't die,' she said.

Of course not. I'm too clever to die, and you're too pretty.'

I am pretty,' Valkryie said, managing a grin.”
― Derek Landy, Playing with Fire

“If things go wrong, I'll lead them away. Once it's clear, get back to the car. If you don't see me in five minutes, then I've probably died a very brave and heroic death. Oh and don't touch the radio--I've got it tuned right where I want it and I don't want you messing that up.”
― Derek Landy, Playing with Fire

“Kindness suits you."

"Really? I think I'm quite allergic to it.”
― Derek Landy

“Enjoy that?" Tanith said with a little grin.

Valkyrie grinned back, her eyes bright. "I keep telling Skulduggery he should get a bike."

"What does he say?"

"He says people who wear leathers, like you, should ride motorbikes. People who wear exquisite suits, like him, should drive Bentleys.”
― Derek Landy, Playing with Fire

“Are you kidding? I jumped off a building -- of course I'm hurt.”
― Derek Landy, Skulduggery Pleasant

“Well, for future reference, this is my serious face.”
― Derek Landy, Dark Days

“What is it with you women?" he yelled, kicking at the air. "You come into our lives, you take everythin'! Throughout the years you got little pieces of me, of my very SOUL, and NOW? Now you got my damn straight razor! How am I supposed to kill people? How am I supposed to even SHAVE?”
― Derek Landy, Playing with Fire

“Oh, and it’s also Reaming Day, the day where the kids between the ages of twelve to eighteen are chosen to participate in the Hunger But Mainly DeathGames, which, as you might expect from the name, is a tournament in which kidsfight to the death, and occasionally experience hunger.”
― Authors of Nightlight, The Hunger but Mainly Death Games

“Rock-a-bye, Bratniss, in your safe cage,
These bars will protect you when mommy's enraged.
If she should break through them,
Don't have any fear,
I made a machine that shoots tranquilizer darts at her if she gets too near.”
― Bratniss Everclean, The Hunger But Mainly Death Games: A Parody

“They were way more interested in learning the alphabet or whatever than they were in learning how to rip a moose in half with their bare hands. Then make a helmet out of its skull. Then to use that helmet to help kill more moose. Collect the skull helmets. Combine. Assemble. Super moose skull helmet. Infinite power.”
― Bratniss Everclean, The Hunger But Mainly Death Games: A Parody

“He's crying so hard now that he's getting that fat kid in a white t-shirt at a pool look.”
― Bratniss Everclean, The Hunger But Mainly Death Games: A Parody

“Bad Hagridmitch! Bad, bad Hagridmitch! What did I tell you about copyright laws? Do you want to get sued? Is that what you want?”
― Bratniss Everclean, The Hunger But Mainly Death Games: A Parody

“Maybe you aren't ready yet. I get it. This is a new situation, you want time to explore it, play with a block or two, eat some Play-Doh. I get it. Go wild. But one day, I'm going to make you mine.”
― Bratniss Everclean, The Hunger But Mainly Death Games: A Parody

“time 4 trayning betch.”
― Bratniss Everclean, The Hunger But Mainly Death Games: A Parody