aspeccharactersoftheday > aspeccharactersoftheday's Quotes

“asexual” and “aromantic” were different things. She liked holding hands and trading kisses. She’d had several boyfriends in elementary school, just like most of the other girls, and she had always found those practice relationships completely satisfying. It wasn’t until puberty had come along and changed the rules that she’d started pulling away in confusion and disinterest.”
― Seanan McGuire, Every Heart a Doorway

“If knowing you’re asexual makes someone see you differently, then they don’t deserve to be in your life.”
― Claire Kann, Let's Talk About Love

“I know what I want and what I don’t want. I’ve never wanted sex. Never. I’ve never understood why it has to be in every book and movie and television show ever made. I never figured out why porn is such a huge thing. I'll be fine if no guy ever takes his shirt off for me. I’m not scared, I just don’t want it.”
― Kathryn Ormsbee, Tash Hearts Tolstoy

“Why did she have to spend the rest of her life coming out over and over and over...? And once she did, would people always expect her to talk about it? It would always be a huge deal, she would always be subjected to questions, and she would always have to defend herself. Would it ever stop feeling like A Thing, a barrier, between her and everyone else?”
― Claire Kann, Let's Talk About Love

“I don’t do that. With anyone.” “You’re celibate?” “No. Celibacy is a choice. I’m asexual. I don’t get those feelings.”
― Seanan McGuire, Every Heart a Doorway

“But you know! You get it. I'm not trying to trivialize anyone else and what they have to do, but if I go to my parents and say I'm a lesbian, they would know what I meant. If I went to my siblings and said I'm bisexual, they would know what I meant. If I tell anyone I'm asexual, they're going to look at me like there's something wrong. They're going to tell me to go to a doctor. They're going to tell me I'm too young to know what I want or I'm still developing. Or they'll tell me how important sex is to finding a good man. Or they'll think they can fix me, that I'm lying because I don't want to sleep with them. It's hard enough trying to explain that word, so how in the hell am I going to explain I'm biromantic asexual? They're really going to think I'm making this shit up.”
― Claire Kann, Let's Talk About Love

“Why can't I find someone who loves being with me, as is, as much as I love being with them?”
― Claire Kann, Let's Talk About Love

“Finally, he raised his hand and touched his fingers to his forehead. "I can give you this." He lowered his hand and pressed the tops of his fingers to the center of his chest. "And I can give you this. But not the rest. It's not who I am. Or what I am.”
― Ada Maria Soto, His Quiet Agent

“Asexual people are often told they will one day find "the one" and develop sexual feelings and the values society attaches to them. Many asexual folks have to hear this over and over and over again, which thrusts a perpetual image of immaturity upon them. Asexuality is not a signal that a person is necessarily stunted emotionally or physically, and feeling sexual attraction or inclination is not the line everyone must cross to be treated like an adult. Maturity should not be measured by willingness or inclination to seek out or accept sexual experiences. [p. 7]”
― Julie Sondra Decker, The Invisible Orientation: An Introduction to Asexuality

“Kade was possibly the most beautiful boy she'd ever seen. She wanted to spend hours sitting with him and talking about pointless things. She wanted to feel his hand against her skin, to know that his presence was absolute and focused entirely on her. The trouble was, it never seemed to end there, and that was as far as she was willing to go.”
― Seanan McGuire, Every Heart a Doorway

“There won't be any sex for the first three hundred thousand words... that's how you know this is an asexual-to-demisexual story.”
― Christopher X. Sullivan, The Book of Beginnings: It's Just Us Here

“How can you know that if you've never had anyone?"

"How do you know you want to?" I reply. "I've never drunk octopus ink, but I don't feel the need to. Or like I'm missing anything in not having tasted it.”
― Mackenzi Lee, The Lady's Guide to Petticoats and Piracy

“Maybe I wouldn’t ever be obligated to have sex with another person in order to make them stay with me. The thought was freeing: I wouldn’t have to pretend. It was just a matter of finding someone else who understood.”
― Calista Lynne, We Awaken

“I’m not gay,” said Raphael. “I’m not straight. I’m not interested.” “Your sexuality is ‘not interested’?” Alec asked curiously. Raphael said, “That’s right.”
― Cassandra Clare, The Red Scrolls of Magic

“the man i went on a date with did more than try to "cure me" of my asexuality
it's funny because i never thought someone's penis would be considered an antidote of any kind
and i don't think that's what my doctor meant when he told me i needed more Vitamin D in my diet
but apparently my sexuality was enough of a diagnosis for him to decide to play doctor with me
maybe he should’ve put his stethoscope up to my mouth instead of between my breasts
maybe then he would’ve heard me when i told him to stop it”
― Courtney Carola, Have Some Pride: A Collection of LGBTQ+ Inspired Poetry

“i can love
as Aristotle
who coined the term “philía”
loved his brothers
it isn’t that hard of a concept to grasp
but because i am not grasping someone else
you think there is something wrong with me
but i am fine”
― Courtney Carola, Have Some Pride: A Collection of LGBTQ+ Inspired Poetry

“Asexuality awareness doesn’t become dangerous just because some people might mislabel themselves while they’re still figuring out their feelings. Lack of awareness is certainly dangerous to asexual people, though.”
― Julie Sondra Decker, The Invisible Orientation: An Introduction to Asexuality

“Maybe we weren't broken after all.”
― Calista Lynne, We Awaken

“But sexual orientation is not determined by whether someone has sex or who they have it with. Orientation is not a behavior—not for asexual people and not for anyone.”
― Julie Sondra Decker, The Invisible Orientation: An Introduction to Asexuality

“This was another thing Vale’s mother never understood: Vale was aro-ace, both aromantic and asexual. She’d told her parents she just wasn’t interested in dating any number of times… But they never seemed to get it. To them, Vale’s sexuality was a ‘phase’ that they were certain she would one day outgrow. Their obliviousness was a raw spot for Vale.”
― Danika Stone, Switchback

“Who needs kissing when you could share oxygen?”
― Calista Lynne

“I spent a considerable amount of time when I was, o, adolescent, wondering why I was different, whether there were other people like me. Why, when everyone else was fascinated by their developing sexual nature, I couldn't give a damn. I've never been attracted to men. Or women. Or anything else. It's difficult to explain, but while I have an apparently normal female body, I don't have any sexual urge or appetite.”
― Kerewin Holmes

“Celibacy was a choice; asexual was just who he was.”
― Sam Burke, City of Soldiers

“Some people misinterpret aesthetic appreciation, romantic attraction, or sexual arousal as being sexual attraction, only to realize later that they are asexual.”
― Julie Sondra Decker, The Invisible Orientation: An Introduction to Asexuality

“Why do you Shadowhunters always want to talk about feelings? Why can nobody ever be a professional? For your information, I do not have any interest in romance of any kind and never will. Now can you drop this revolting subject?”
― Cassandra Clare, Son of the Dawn

“If a person who has trouble believing sex could be unenjoyable can imagine a person they are not attracted to at all, and then try to imagine whether they could enjoy sex with that person, they might have some understanding of how an asexual person might be feeling about sex. Many asexual people feel that way about all potential partners. Just like most straight guys can’t imagine liking sex with another man, many asexual people would not enjoy the act—not because they’re doing it wrong, but because people just aren’t sexually attractive to them.”
― Julie Sondra Decker, The Invisible Orientation: An Introduction to Asexuality

“I was worried about sex," he went on. "But you know what, Sulie? It's like being told I can't have any caviar for the next couple years. I don't even like caviar. And when you come right down to it, I don't want sex right now. I supposed you punched that into the computer? 'Cut down sex drive, increase euphoria'? Anyway, it finally penetrated my little brain that I was just making trouble for myself, worrying about whether I could get along without something I really didn't want. It's a reflection of what I think other people think I should want.”
― Frederik Pohl, Man Plus

“Not a robot, not a freak, not confused. Just a girl.”
― Kathryn Ormsbee

“It's difficult to explain why I don't feel for you what I think other adults feel for one another sometimes.”
― Rebecca Langham, Finding Aurora

“It took me a long while to figure it out, why I didn’t feel the way everyone else seemed to feel about sex. It doesn’t do a whole lot for me, to be honest. I thought maybe it was women, so I switched to men, but it wasn’t all that much better. It’s… it was mechanical , almost. I was going through the motions but it wasn’t really doing anything for me. I could get off but I didn’t care about it. I thought maybe there was something wrong with me until I figured it out and then it was like a big, fat asexual ray of sunshine fell over me and it was glorious . But it felt better when I figured out that I wasn’t weird and that it was okay to not want sex like everyone else. But I like touching and I like kissing most of the time and I can be there for a partner should the situation… arise. Sometimes, I’ll even jerk off, and I’m told I give really awesome hugs.”
― T.J. Klune, How to Be a Normal Person