Twisha Asher > Twisha's Quotes

“Commander, I always used to consider that you had a definite anti-authoritarian streak in you.”
“Sir?”
“It seems that you have managed to retain this even though you are authority.”
“Sir?”
“That’s practically zen.”
― Terry Pratchett, Feet of Clay

“The important thing is not to shout at this point, Vimes told himself. Do not…what do they call it…go postal? Treat this as a learning exercise. Find out why the world is not as you thought it was. Assemble the facts, digest the information, consider the implications. THEN go postal. But with precision.”
― Terry Pratchett, Thud!

“Vimes took the view that life was so full of things happening erraticaly in all directions, that the chance of any of them making some kind of relevant sense were remote in the extreme.”
― Terry Pratchett, Feet of Clay

“You build little worlds, little stories, little shells around your minds, and that keeps infinity at bay and allows you to wake up in the morning without screaming.”
― Terry Pratchett

“There was no safety. There was no pride. All there was, was money. Everything became money, and money became everything. Money treated us as if we were things, and we died.”
― Terry Pratchett, Going Postal

“Tao of Pratchett. I live by it.”
― Harry Dresden

“Fortune favours the brave, sir," said Carrot cheerfully.

"Good. Good. Pleased to hear it, captain. What is her position vis a vis heavily armed, well prepared and excessively manned armies?"

"Oh, no–one's ever heard of Fortune favouring them, sir."

"According to General Tacticus, it's because they favour themselves," said Vimes. He opened the battered book. Bits of paper and string indicated his many bookmarks. "In fact, men, the general has this to say about ensuring against defeat when outnumbered, out–weaponed and outpositioned. It is..." he turned the page, "'Don't Have a Battle.”
― Terry Pratchett, Jingo

“A banker? Me?"
"Yes, Mr. Lipwig."
"But I don't know anything about running a bank!"
"Good. No preconceived ideas."
"I've robbed banks!"
"Capital! Just reverse your thinking," said Lord Vetinari, beaming. "The money should be on the inside.”
― Terry Pratchett, Making Money

“Be generous, Sir Samuel. TRULY treat all men equally. Allow Klatchians the right to be scheming bastards, hmm?”
― Terry Pratchett

“No, we do it for the money.
'And, because we above all must know the value of a human life, we do it for a great deal of money.
'There can be few cleaner motives, so shorn of all pretence.
'Nil mortifi, sine lucre. Remember. No killing without payment.'
He paused for a moment.
'And always give a receipt,' he added.”
― Terry Pratchett, Pyramids

“Nanny Ogg usually went to bed early. After all, she was an old lady. Sometimes she went to bed as early as 6 a.m.”
― Terry Pratchett, Maskerade

“Once people get the idea that they can listen to music for nothing, where will it end?”
― Terry Pratchett, Soul Music

“He was, in fact, dead. It would be hard to be deader without special training.”
― Terry Pratchett, Theatre of Cruelty

“Sometimes glass glitters more than diamonds because it has more to prove.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Truth: Stage Adaptation

“A lie can run round the world before the truth has got its boots on.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Truth: Stage Adaptation

“William: "I'm sure we can all pull together, sir."
Vetinari: "Oh, I do hope not. Pulling together is the aim of despotism and tyranny. Free men pull in all kinds of directions.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Truth: Stage Adaptation

“And these are your reasons, my lord?"
"Do you think I have others?" said Lord Vetinari. "My motives, as ever, are entirely transparent."
Hughnon reflected that 'entirely transparent' meant either that you could see right through them or that you couldn't see them at all.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Truth: Stage Adaptation

“...William wondered why he always disliked people who said 'no offense meant.' Maybe it was because they found it easier to to say 'no offense meant' than actually to refrain from giving offense.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Truth: Stage Adaptation

“Ah," said Mr Pin. "Right. I remember. You are concerned citizens." He knew about concerned citizens. Wherever they were, they all spoke the same private language, where 'traditional values' meant 'hang someone'.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Truth: Stage Adaptation

“WHO KNOWS WHAT EVIL LURKS IN THE HEART OF MEN?

The Death of Rats looked up from the feast of the potato. SQUEAK, he said.

Death waved a hand dismissively. WELL, YES, OBVIOUSLY ME, he said. I JUST WONDERED IF THERE WAS ANYONE ELSE.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Truth: Stage Adaptation

“When people say "clearly" something that means there's a huge crack in their argument and they know things aren't clear at all.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Truth: Stage Adaptation

“Nothing has to be true forever. Just for long enough.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Truth: Stage Adaptation

“For example, the dwarfs found out how to turn lead into gold by doing it the hard way. The difference between that and the easy way is that the hard way works.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Truth: Stage Adaptation

“Character assassination. What a wonderful idea. Ordinary assassination only works once, but this one works every day.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Truth: Stage Adaptation

“The dwarfs can turn lead into gold...
It reached the pointy ears of the dwarfs.
-Can we?
-Damned if I know. I can't.
-Yeah, but if you could, you wouldn't say. I wouldn't say, if I could.
-Can you?
-No!
-Ah-ha!”
― Terry Pratchett, The Truth: Stage Adaptation

“I have certainly noticed that groups of clever and intelligent people are capable of really stupid ideas.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Truth: Stage Adaptation

“The brain works fast when it thinks it’s about to be cut in half.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Truth: Stage Adaptation

“Mr. Tulip lived his life on that thin line most people occupy just before they haul off and hit someone repeatedly with a wrench.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Truth: Stage Adaptation

“Mr Tulip raised a trembling hand. 'Is this the bit where my whole life passes in front of my eyes?' he said.

NO, THAT WAS THE BIT JUST NOW.

'Which bit?'

THE BIT, said Death, BETWEEN YOUR BEING BORN AND YOUR DYING.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Truth: Stage Adaptation

“Insofar as he'd formed any opinion of her, it was that she suffered from misplaced gentility and the mistaken belief that etiquette meant good breeding. She mistook mannerisms for manners.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Truth: Stage Adaptation