“I push the kitchen door open and go to the garage in search of something that can take care of at least one problem in my life. I really want a machete, or an ax, but all I find is a hammer. I take it back to the kitchen with me to take care of this damn door once and for all. I swing the hammer at the door. It makes a nice dent. I swing at it again, wondering why I didn’t just try to take the door off the hinges. Maybe I just really needed something to take out my aggression on. I hit the door in the same spot, over and over, until the wood begins to chip. Eventually, a hole begins to form, and I can see from the kitchen into the living room. It feels good. That kind of worries me. I keep hacking away, though. Every time I swing at the door, the door swings away from me. I swing again when it comes back. My hammer and I fall into a rhythm with the door until there’s at least a twelve-inch hole. I put all my strength behind the next swing, but the hammer gets stuck in the wood and slips out of my hands. When the door swings back toward me, I stop it with my foot. I can see Clara through the hole in the door. She’s standing in the living room, staring at me. She looks bewildered. My hands are on my hips now. I’m breathing heavily from the physical exertion this hole took to make. I wipe sweat from my forehead. “You have officially lost your mind,” Clara says. “I’d be better off as a homeless runaway.” I push at the door, holding it open with my hand. If she really thinks it’s so bad, being here with me . . . “Run away, then, Clara,” I say flatly. She shakes her head, as if I’m the disappointing one, then walks back to her bedroom. “That’s not the way to the front door!” I yell. She slams her bedroom door, and it only takes three seconds for me to regret yelling at her.”
―
Colleen Hoover,
Regretting You
