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#1

“Let us find the dam snack bar," Zoe said. "We should eat while we can."
Grover cracked a smile. "The dam snack bar?"
Zoe blinked. "Yes. What is funny?"
"Nothing," Grover said, trying to keep a straight face. "I could use some dam french fries."
Even Thalia smiled at that. "And I need to use the dam restroom."
...
I started cracking up, and Thalia and Grover joined in, while Zoe just looked at me. "I do not understand."
"I want to use the dam water fountain," Grover said.
"And..." Thalia tried to catch her breath. "I want to buy a dam t-shirt.”
― Rick Riordan, The Titan’s Curse

tags: humor

9774 likes

#2

“Ever had a flying burrito hit you? Well, it's a deadly projectile, right up there with cannonballs and grenades.”
― Rick Riordan, The Titan’s Curse

5395 likes

#3

“Deadlines just aren't real to me until I'm staring one in the face.”
― Rick Riordan, The Lightning Thief

tags: deadlines, humor, procrastinate

6469 likes

#4

“Grover was sniffing the wind, looking nervous. He fished out his acorns and threw them into the sand, then played his pipes. They rearranged themselves in a pattern that made no sense to me, but Grover looked concerned.
"That's us," he said. "Those five nuts right there."
"Which one is me?" I asked.
"The little deformed one," Zoe suggested.
"Oh, shut up.”
― Rick Riordan, The Titan’s Curse

tags: acorns, percy-jackson, zoe-nightshade

4029 likes

#5

“In a way, it's nice to know that there are Greek gods out there, because you have somebody to blame when things go wrong. For instance, when you're walking away from a bus that's just been attacked by monster hags and blown up by lightning, and it's raining on top of everything else, most people might think that's just really bad luck; when you're a half-blood, you understand that some devine force is really trying to mess up your day.”
― Rick Riordan, The Titan's Curse

tags: books, humor, olympians

3409 likes

#6

“The real story of the Fleece: there were these two children of Zeus, Cadmus and Europa, okay? They were about to get offered up as human sacrifices, when they prayed to Zeus to save them. So Zeus sent this magical flying ram with golden wool, which picked them up in Greece and carried them all the way to Colchis in Asia Minor. Well, actually it carried Cadmus. Europa fell off and died along the way, but that's not important."
"It was probably important to her.”
― Rick Riordan, The Sea of Monsters

tags: annabeth-chase, gold, humor, percy-jackson

3777 likes

#7

“You deal with mythological stuff for a few years, you learn that paradises are usually places where you get killed.”
― Rick Riordan, The Battle of the Labyrinth

tags: humor, mythological, paradise

2657 likes

#8

“Wow," Thalia muttered. "Apollo is hot."
"He's the sun god," I said.
"That's not what I meant.”
― Rick Riordan, The Titan’s Curse

tags: apollo, gods, hot, olympians, percy-jackson, sun, thalia

6051 likes

#9

“What if it lines up like it did in the Trojan War ... Athena versus Poseidon?"
"I don't know. But I just know that I'll be fighting next to you."
"Why?"
"Because you're my friend, Seaweed Brain. Any more stupid questions?”
― Rick Riordan, The Lightning Thief

tags: annabeth-chase, athena, percy-jackson, poseidon

3877 likes

#10

“It seemed weird calling a teenager 'sir' but I'd learned to be careful with immortals. They tended to get offended easily. Then, they blew stuff up.”
― Rick Riordan

tags: explosions, humor, immortals, teenager

1883 likes

#11

“How did you die?"
"We er....drowned in a bathtub."
"All three of you?"
"It was a big bathtub.”
― Rick Riordan, The Lightning Thief

4869 likes

#12

“Hades raised an eyebrow. When he sat forward in his throne, shadowy faces appeared in the folds of his black robes, faces of torment,as if the garment was stitched of trapped souls from the Fields of Punishment, trying to get out. The ADHD part of me wondered, off-task, whether the rest of his clothes were made the same way. What horrible things would you have to do in your life to get woven into Hades' underwear?”
― Rick Riordan, The Lightning Thief

tags: hades, percy-jackson

2268 likes

#13

“Families are messy. Immortal families are eternally messy. Sometimes the best we can do is to remind each other that we're related for better or for worse...and try to keep the maiming and killing to a minimum.”
― Rick Riordan, The Sea of Monsters

tags: family

3270 likes

#14

“Rachel: You're a half-blood, too?
Annabeth: Shhh! Just announce it to the world, how about?
Rachel: Okay. Hey, everybody! These two aren't human! They're half Greek god!...They don't seem to care.”
― Rick Riordan, The Battle of the Labyrinth

tags: annabeth-chase, half-blood, humor, rachel-elizabeth-dare

2262 likes

#15

“Don't feel bad, I'm usually about to die.”
― Rick Riordan, The Battle of the Labyrinth

tags: death, greek, humor, mythology, percy-jackson, sorry

4191 likes

#16

“She glared at me like she was about to punch me, but then she did something that surprised me even more. She kissed me.
"Be careful seaweed brain." She said putting on her invisible cap and disappearing.
I probably would have sat there all day, trying to remember my name, but then the sea demons came.”
― Rick Riordan

tags: demons, god, gods, greek, kiss

1683 likes

#17

“God alert!" Blackjack yelled. "It's the wine dude!
Mr. D sighed in exasperation. "The next person, or horse, who calls me the 'wine dude' will end up in a bottle of Merlot!”
― Rick Riordan, The Titan’s Curse

tags: blackjack, dionysus, percy-jackson

2585 likes

#18

“Percy: Don't I get a kiss for luck? It's kind of a tradition, right?
Annabeth: Come back alive, Seaweed Brain. Then we'll see.”
― Rick Riordan

tags: annabeth-chase, percy-jackson

2290 likes

#19

“We only came close to dying six or seven times, which I thought was pretty good. Once, I lost my grip and found myself dangling by one hand from a ledge fifty feet above the rocky surf. But I found another handhold and kept climbing. A minute later Annabeth hit a slippery patch of moss and her foot slipped. Fortunately, she found something else to put it against. Unfortunately, that something was my face.
"Sorry," she murrmured.
"S'okay," I grunted, though I'd never really wanted to know what Annabeth's sneaker tasted like.”
― Rick Riordan, The Sea of Monsters

1618 likes

#20

“Can you surf really well, then?"
I looked at Grover, who was trying hard not to laugh.
"Jeez, Nico," I said. "I've never really tried."
He went on asking questions. Did I fight a lot with Thalia, since she was a daughter of Zeus? (I didn't answer that one.) If Annabeth's mother was Athena, the goddess of wisdom, then why didn't Annabeth know better than to fall off a cliff? (I tried not to strangle Nico for asking that one.) Was Annabeth my girlfriend? (At this point, I was ready to stick the kid in a meat-flavored sack and throw him to the wolves.)”
― Rick Riordan

tags: annabeth-chase, athena, funny, humor, myth, mythology, olympians, percy-jackson, posiedon, the-lightning-thief, zeus

2760 likes

#21

“Afterward, I had the last laugh. I made an air bubble at the bottom of the lake. Our friends kept waiting for us to come up, but hey-when you are the son of Poseidon, you don't have to hurry. And it was pretty much the best underwater kiss of all time.”
― Rick Riordan

tags: cute, isaiat, kiss, love, mart, percy-jackson, underwater

2017 likes

#22

“Dance you guys!" Thalia ordered. "You look stupid just standing there."
I looked nervously at Annabeth, then at the groups of girls who were roaming the gym.
"Well?" Annabeth asked.
"Um, who should I ask?"
She punched me in the gut. "Me, Seaweed Brain."
"Oh. Oh right.”
― Rick Riordan

1256 likes

#23

“[My mom's] funny that way, celebrating special occasions with blue food. I think it's her way of saying anything is possible. Percy can pass seventh grade. Waffles can be blue. Little miracles like that.”
― Rick Riordan, The Sea of Monsters

tags: humor

1614 likes

#24

“The world was collapsing, and the only thing that really mattered to me was that she was alive.”
― Rick Riordan, The Last Olympian

tags: infatuation, love, obsession

3148 likes

#25

“Even strength must bow to wisdom sometimes.”
― Rick Riordan, The Lightning Thief

3578 likes

#26

“Jason scratched his head. "You named him Festus? You know that in Latin, ‘festus’ means ‘happy’? You want us to ride off to save the world on Happy the Dragon?”
― Rick Riordan, The Lost Hero

tags: jason, names

2078 likes

#27

“All I could think of was that the teachers must've found the illegal stash of candy I'd been selling out of my dorms room. Or maybe they'd realized I got my Essay on Tom Sawyer from the Internet without ever reading the book and now they were going to take away my grade. Or worse, they were going to make me read the book.”
― Rick Riordan, The Lightning Thief

tags: conscience, guilt, plagiarism

1217 likes

#28

“Monkey bar," Annabeth said. "I'm great at these." She leaped onto to the first rung and start swinging her way across. She was scared of tiny spiders, but not of plummeting to her death from a set of monkey bars. Go figure.”
― Rick Riordan, The Battle of the Labyrinth

tags: annabeth-chase, percy-jackson

1583 likes

#29

“Um...is that thing tame?" Frank said.
The horse whinnied angrily.
"I don't think so," Percy guessed. "He just said, 'I will trample you to death, silly Chinese Canadian baby man'.”
― Rick Riordan, The Son of Neptune

tags: funny, silly-chinese-canadian-baby-man

2814 likes

#30

“It's him," I said. "Typhon."
I was seriously hoping Chiron would say something good, like 'No, that's our huge friend Leroy! He's going to help us!”
― Rick Riordan

tags: chiron, percy-jackson

1109 likes

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