Jay > Jay's Quotes

“Wendy, Wendy, when you are sleeping in your silly bed you might be flying about with me saying funny things to the stars.”
― J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan

“And how do you know that you're mad? "To begin with," said the Cat, "a dog's not mad. You grant that?" I suppose so, said Alice. "Well then," the Cat went on, "you see a dog growls when it's angry, and wags it's tail when it's pleased. Now I growl when I'm pleased, and wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm mad.”
― Lewis Carroll, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland / Through the Looking-Glass

“Error can point the way to truth, while empty-headedness can only lead to more empty-headedness or to a career in politics.”
― Barry Hughart, Bridge of Birds

“The supernatural can be very annoying until one finds the key that transforms it into science," he observed mildly... "Come on, Ox, let's go out and get killed.”
― Barry Hughart, Bridge of Birds

“Fable has strong shoulders that carry far more truth than fact can.”
― Barry Hughart, Bridge of Birds

“The emotional health of a village depended upon having a man whom everyone loved to hate, and Heaven had blessed us with two of them.”
― Barry Hughart, Bridge of Birds

“Immortality is only for the gods," he whispered. "I wonder how they can stand it.”
― Barry Hughart, Bridge of Birds

“O great and mighty Master Li, pray impart to me the Secret of Wisdom!" he bawled.

"Take a large bowl," I said. "Fill it with equal measures of fact, fantasy, history, mythology, science, superstition, logic, and lunacy. Darken the mixture with bitter tears, brighten it with howls of laughter, toss in three thousand years of civilization, bellow kan pei — which means 'dry cup' — and drink to the dregs."

Procopius stared at me. "And I will be wise?" he asked.

"Better," I said. "You will be Chinese.”
― Barry Hughart, Bridge of Birds

“Blessed are the idiots, for they are happiest people on earth.”
― Barry Hughart, Bridge of Birds

“Master Li, how are we going to murder a man who laughs at axes?" I asked.

We are going to experiment, dear boy. Our first order of business will be to find a deranged alchemist, which should not be very difficult. China," said Master Li, "is overstocked with deranged alchemists.”
― Barry Hughart, Bridge of Birds

“Ox, what occupation is most closely linked to insanity?'

'Emperor,' I said promptly.”
― Barry Hughart, The Story of the Stone

“...the problem with poetic justice is that it never knows when to stop.”
― Barry Hughart, Bridge of Birds

“Don't be ashamed of reliving your childhood, Ox, because all of us must do it now and then to maintain our sanity.”
― Barry Hughart, Bridge of Birds

“Ox, at an early age a Chinese genius gazes at the path that lies ahead and reaches for a wine jar," Master Li said. "Is it any wonder that our greatest men have lurched rather than walked across the landscape as they hiccuped their way into history?”
― Barry Hughart, The Story of the Stone

“Show me a quest for personal immortality and I'll show you a path through a slaughterhouse, and the incense of personal divinity is the stench of other people's corpses.”
― Barry Hughart, The Story of the Stone

“Coge un cuenco grande, dije. Llénalo con medidas iguales de hechos, fantasías, historia, mitología, ciencia, superstición, lógica y locura. Oscurece la mezcla con lágrimas amargas, aclárala con carcajadas, viértele tres mil años de civilización, grita kan pei, que significa "copa seca", y bébela hasta las heces."
Propocio me clavó los ojos. "¿Y seré sabio?", preguntó.
"Mejor que eso", le respondí. "Serás chino.”
― Barry Hughart, Bridge of Birds

“I have never been able to understand why perfectly sensible people waste time being wittily obscure instead of just saying what they want and going on about their business.”
― Barry Hughart, The Story of the Stone

“The problem with 'the crown jewel of Chinese literature' [Dream of the Red Chamber] is that it has two thousand pages and an equal number of characters, and the hero is an effeminate ass who should have either been spanked or decapitated, both ends being equally objectionable.”
― Barry Hughart, The Story of the Stone

“The mind is a miser," he said. "Nothing is ever thrown away, and it's amazing what you can find if you dig deep enough.”
― Barry Hughart, The Story of the Stone

“A fool will study for twenty or thirty years and learn how to do something, but a wise man will study for twenty or thirty minutes and become an expert. In this world, it isn't ability that counts, but authority.”
― Barry Hughart, The Story of the Stone

“...the emotional health of a village depended upon having a man whom everyone hated.”
― Barry Hughart, Bridge of Birds

“Mystery and terror are the bulwarks of tyranny.”
― Barry Hughart, Bridge of Birds

“Schizophrenia may be a necessary consequence of literacy. [p. 32]”
― Marshall McLuhan, La galaxia Gutenberg: Génesis del homo typographicus

“But you were always a good man of business, Jacob,' faltered Scrooge, who now began to apply this to himself.

Business!' cried the Ghost, wringing its hands again. "Mankind was my business; charity, mercy, forbearance, and benevolence, were, all, my business. The deals of my trade were but a drop of water in the comprehensive ocean of my business!”
― Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol

“You fear the world too much,' she answered gently. 'All your other hopes have merged into the hope of being beyond the chance of its sordid reproach. I have seen your nobler aspirations fall off, one by one, until the master passion, Gain, engrosses you. Have I not?”
― Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol

“They are Man's and they cling to me, appealing from their fathers. This boy is Ignorance and this girl is Want. Beware them both, and all of their degree, but most of all beware this boy for on his brow I see that written which is Doom, unless the writing be erased.”
― Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol

“Let us do something, while we have the chance! It is not every day that we are needed. Not indeed that we personally are needed. Others would meet the case equally well, if not better. To all mankind they were addressed, those cries for help still ringing in our ears! But at this place, at this moment of time, all mankind is us, whether we like it or not. Let us make the most of it, before it is too late! Let us represent worthily for one the foul brood to which a cruel fate consigned us! What do you say? It is true that when with folded arms we weigh the pros and cons we are no less a credit to our species. The tiger bounds to the help of his congeners without the least reflexion, or else he slinks away into the depths of the thickets. But that is not the question. What are we doing here, that is the question. And we are blessed in this, that we happen to know the answer. Yes, in the immense confusion one thing alone is clear. We are waiting for Godot to come -- ”
― Samuel Beckett, Waiting for Godot

“...I doubt very seriously whether anyone will hire me.'

What do you mean, babe? You a fine boy with a good education.'

Employers sense in me a denial of their values.' He rolled over onto his back. 'They fear me. I suspect that they can see that I am forced to function in a century I loathe. This was true even when I worked for the New Orleans Public Library.”
― John Kennedy Toole, A Confederacy of Dunces

“Apparently I lack some particular perversion which today's employer is seeking. ”
― John Kennedy Toole, A Confederacy of Dunces

“He wrapped himself in quotations - as a beggar would enfold himself in the purple of Emperors.”
― Rudyard Kipling, Many Inventions