Chance > Chance's Quotes

“Any man can fart in a closed room and say that he commands the wind”
― Scott Lynch, Red Seas Under Red Skies

“Mew," the kitten retorted, locking gazes with him. It had the expression common to all kittens, that of a tyrant in the becoming. 'I was comfortable, and you dared to move,' those jade eyes said. 'For that you must die.' When it became apparent to the cat that its two or three pounds of mass were insufficient to break Locke's neck with one mighty snap, it put its paws on his shoulders and began sharing its drool-covered nose with his lips. He recoiled.”
― Scott Lynch, Red Seas Under Red Skies

“That's a sweet piece," said Jean, briefly forgetting to be aggravated. "You didn't snatch that off a street."

"No," said Locke, before taking another deep draught of the warm water in the decanter. "I got it from the neck of the governor's mistress."

"You can't be serious."

"In the governor's manor."

"Of all the -"

"In the governor's bed."

"Damned lunatic!"

"With the governor sleeping next to her."

The night quiet was broken by the high, distant trill of a whistle, the traditional swarming noise of city watches everywhere. Several other whistles joined in a few moments later.

"It is possible," said Locke with a sheepish grin, "that I have been slightly too bold.”
― Scott Lynch, Red Seas Under Red Skies

“Difficult" and "impossible" are cousins often mistaken for one another, with very little in common.”
― Scott Lynch, Red Seas Under Red Skies

“ I want to hug you. And I want to tear your gods-damned head off. Both at once."

"Ah," said Locke. "Near as I can tell, that’s the definition of 'family' right there.”
― Scott Lynch, Red Seas Under Red Skies

“I'll wager I would have screwed things up regardless. But. . .can you imagine those poor bastards grappling their prey, leaping over the rails, swords in hand, screaming, 'Your cats! Give us all your gods-damned cats!”
― Scott Lynch, Red Seas Under Red Skies

“Only one way to win when you're being chased by someone bigger and tougher than you. Turn straight around, punch their teeth out, and hope the gods are fond of you.”
― Scott Lynch, Red Seas Under Red Skies

“Maxilan, darling." Locke raised one eyebrow and smiled. "I knew you were driven, but I had no idea you could smoulder. Come, take me now! Jean won't mind; he'll avert his eyes like a gentleman.”
― Scott Lynch, Red Seas Under Red Skies

“I hope a shark tries to suck your cock!”
― Scott Lynch, Red Seas Under Red Skies

“As for history, we are living in its ruins. And as for biographies, we are living with the consequences of all the decisions ever made in them. I tend not to read them for pleasure. It’s not unlike carefully scrutinizing the map when one has already reached the destination.”
― Scott Lynch, Red Seas Under Red Skies

“I think piracy is a bit like drinking. You want to stay out all night doing it, you pay the price the next day.”
― Scott Lynch, Red Seas Under Red Skies

“Congratulations! We’re reverse burglars, here to give you fifty gold solari!”
― Scott Lynch, Red Seas Under Red Skies

“We may need to ready ourselves to repel boarders.” “With what? One stiletto and hurtful insinuations about their mothers?”
― Scott Lynch, Red Seas Under Red Skies

“Jean grinned down at her, and she handed him something in a small silk bag.
'What's this?'
'Lock of my hair, ' she said. 'Meant to give it to you days ago, but we got busy with all the raiding. You know. Piracy. Hectic life. '
'Thank you, love, ' he said.
'Now, if you find yourself in trouble wherever you go, you can hold up that little bag to whoever's bothering you, and you can say, "You have no idea who you're fucking with. I'm under the protection of the lady who gave me this object of her favour. "'
'And that's supposed to make them stop?'
'Shit no, that's just to confuse them. Then you kill them while they're standing there looking at you funny.”
― Scott Lynch, Red Seas Under Red Skies

“You’re ten pints of crazy in a one-pint glass.”
― Scott Lynch, Red Seas Under Red Skies

“Look for us in history books and you’ll find us in the margins. Look for us in legends, and you might just find us celebrated.”
― Scott Lynch, Red Seas Under Red Skies

“They kissed for the sort of endless moment that only exists between lovers whose lips are still new territory to one another.”
― Scott Lynch, Red Seas Under Red Skies

“Can you imagine those poor bastards grappling their prey, leaping over the rails, swords in hand, screaming 'Your cats! Give us all your god-damned cats!”
― Scott Lynch, Red Seas Under Red Skies

“If you must play, decide upon three things at the start: the rules of the game, the stakes, and the quitting time.” Chinese Proverb”
― Scott Lynch, Red Seas Under Red Skies

“As Chains had once said, feeling like you wanted desperately to die was fine evidence that you had yet to do so.”
― Scott Lynch, Red Seas Under Red Skies

“You needed a bath," Jean interrupted. "You were covered in self-pity.”
― Scott Lynch, Red Seas Under Red Skies

“... It's perfect! Locke would appreciate it."

"Bug," Calo said, "Locke is our brother and our love for him knows no bounds. But the four most fatal words in the Therin language are 'Locke would appreciate it.'"

"Rivalled only by 'Locke taught me a new trick,'" added Galo.

"The only person who gets away with Locke Lamora games ..."

"... is Locke ..."

"... because we think the gods are saving him up for a really big death. Something with knives and hot irons ..."

"... and fifty thousand cheering spectators.”
― Scott Lynch, The Lies of Locke Lamora

“There’s no freedom quite like the freedom of being constantly underestimated.”
― Scott Lynch, The Lies of Locke Lamora

“Someday, Locke Lamora,” he said, “someday, you’re going to fuck up so magnificently, so ambitiously, so overwhelmingly that the sky will light up and the moons will spin and the gods themselves will shit comets with glee. And I just hope I’m still around to see it.”
“Oh please,” said Locke. “It’ll never happen.”
― Scott Lynch, The Lies of Locke Lamora

“I cut off his fingers to get him to talk, and when he'd confessed everything I wanted to hear, I had his fucking tongue cut out, and the stump cauterized."

Everyone in the room stared at him.

"I called him an asshole, too," said Locke. "He didn't like that.”
― Scott Lynch, The Lies of Locke Lamora

“I only steal because my dear old family needs the money to live!"
Locke Lamora made this proclamation with his wine glass held high; he and the other Gentleman Bastards were seated at the old witchwood table. . . . The others began to jeer.
"Liar!" they chorused
"I only steal because this wicked world won't let me work an honest trade!" Calo cried, hoisting his own glass.
"LIAR!"
"I only steal," said Jean, "because I've temporarily fallen in with bad company."
"LIAR!"
At last the ritual came to Bug; the boy raised his glass a bit shakily and yelled, "I only steal because it's heaps of fucking fun!"
"BASTARD!”
― Scott Lynch, The Lies of Locke Lamora

“There are only three people in life you can never fool--pawnbrokers, whores, and your mother. Since your mother's dead, I've taken her place. Hence, I'm bullshit-proof.”
― Scott Lynch, The Lies of Locke Lamora

“When you don't know everything that you could know, it's a fine time to shut your fucking noisemaker and be polite.”
― Scott Lynch, The Lies of Locke Lamora

“Nice bird, asshole!”
― Scott Lynch, The Lies of Locke Lamora

“I don't have to beat you. I don't have to beat you, motherfucker. I just have to keep you here... until Jean shows up.”
― Scott Lynch, The Lies of Locke Lamora