Deborah Smith > Deborah's Quotes

“Yes, of course duct tape works in a near-vacuum. Duct tape works anywhere. Duct tape is magic and should be worshiped.”
― Andy Weir, The Martian

“Also, I have duct tape. Ordinary duct tape, like you buy at a hardware store. Turns out even NASA can’t improve on duct tape.”
― Andy Weir, The Martian

“As with most of life's problems, this one can be solved by a box of pure radiation.”
― Andy Weir, The Martian

“Actually, I was the very lowest ranked member of the crew. I would only be “in command” if I were the only remaining person.”
What do you know? I’m in command”
― Andy Weir, The Martian

“They say once you grow crops somewhere, you have officially ‘colonised’ it. So technically, I colonised Mars.
In your face, Neil Armstrong!”
― Andy Weir, The Martian

“Just three words? Nothing about his physical health? His equipment? His supplies?'

'You got me,' she said. 'He left a detailed status report. I just decided to lie for no reason.'

'Funny,' Venkat said. 'Be a smart-ass to a guy seven levels above you at your company. See how that works out.'

'Oh no,' Mindy said. 'I might lose my job as an interplanetary voyeur? I guess I'd have to use my master's degree for something else.'

'I remember when you were shy.'

'I'm space paparazzi now. The attitude comes with the job.”
― Andy Weir, The Martian

“I don’t want to come off as arrogant here, but I’m the best botanist on the planet.”
― Andy Weir, The Martian

“I need to ask myself, 'What would an Apollo astronaut do?' He'd drink three whiskey sours, drive his Corvette to the launchpad, then fly to the moon in a command module smaller than my Rover. Man those guys were cool.”
― Andy Weir, The Martian

“Once I got home, I sulked for a while. All my brilliant plans foiled by thermodynamics. Damn you, Entropy!”
― Andy Weir, The Martian

“Things didn’t go exactly as planned, but I’m not dead, so it’s a win.”
― Andy Weir, The Martian

“I tested the brackets by hitting them with rocks. This kind of sophistication is what we interplanetary scientists are known for.”
― Andy Weir, The Martian

“Message reads: 'Houston, be advised: Rich Purnell is a steely-eyed missile man.”
― Andy Weir, The Martian

“As usual, I’m working with stuff that was deliberately designed not to burn. But no amount of careful design by NASA can get around a determined arsonist with a tank of pure oxygen.”
― Andy Weir, The Martian

“On a scale from one to ‘invade Russia in winter,’ how stupid is this plan?”
― Andy Weir, Artemis

“Oh,” Lewis said, “well if you won’t let us then— Wait…wait a minute.… I’m looking at my shoulder patch and it turns out I’m the commander. Sit tight. We’re coming to get you.” “Smart-ass.”
― Andy Weir, The Martian

“But in the end, if everything goes to plan, I’ll have 92 square meters of crop-able soil. Hell yeah I’m a botanist! Fear my botany powers!”
― Andy Weir, The Martian

“They’re not much different from kitchen trash bags, though I’m sure they cost $50,000 because of NASA.”
― Andy Weir, The Martian

“I penetrated the outer cell membrane with a nanosyringe."
"You poked it with a stick?"
"No!" I said. "Well. Yes. But it was a scientific poke with a very scientific stick.”
― Andy Weir, Project Hail Mary

“It seemed to work well. The seal looked strong and the resin was rock-hard. I did, however, glue my hand to the helmet.”
― Andy Weir, The Martian

“To them, equipment failure is terrifying. To me, it’s “Tuesday.”
― Andy Weir, The Martian

“But seeing his status doesn’t help,” Mindy said. “It’s not like we can do anything about it if he falls behind. This is a pointless task.”
“How long have you worked for the government?” Venkat sighed.”
― Andy Weir, The Martian

“A clumsy, awkward success is still a success.”
― Andy Weir, Artemis

“Earth is about to set. Resume 08:00 my time tomorrow morning. Tell family I’m fine. Give crew my best. Tell Commander Lewis disco sucks.”
― Andy Weir, The Martian

“Hey,” Watney said over the radio, “I've got an idea.”
“Of course you do,” Lewis said. “What do you got?”
“I could find something sharp in here and poke a hole in the glove of my EVA suit. I could use the escaping air as a thruster and fly my way to you. The source of thrust would be on my arm, so I'd be able to direct it pretty easily.”
“How does he come up with this shit?” Martinez interjected.
“Hmm,” Lewis said. “Could you get 42 meters per second that way?”
“No idea,” Watney said.
“I can't see you having any control if you did that,” Lewis said. “You'd be eyeballing the intercept and using a thrust vector you can barely control.”
“I admit it's fatally dangerous,” Watney said. “But consider this: I'd get to fly around like Iron Man.”
“We'll keep working on ideas,” Lewis said.
“Iron Man, Commander. Iron Man.”
― Andy Weir, The Martian

“[09:09] MAV: You’re sending me into space in a convertible.
[09:24] HOUSTON: There will be Hab canvas covering the holes. It will provide enough aerodynamics in Mars’s atmosphere.
[09:38] MAV: So it’s a ragtop. Much better.”
― Andy Weir, The Martian

“Five a.m. was a largely theoretical concept to me. I knew it existed, but I rarely observed it.”
― Andy Weir, Artemis

“I used a sophisticated method to remove sections of plastic (hammer), then carefully removed the solid foam insulation (hammer again).”
― Andy Weir, The Martian

“This all sounds like a great idea with no chance of catastrophic failure. That was sarcasm, by the way.”
― Andy Weir, The Martian

“I pull the sheet off the bed and wrap it around my torso a couple of times. I pull one corner over my shoulder from behind my back and tie it to another from the front. Instant toga.

"Self-ambulation detected," says the computer. "What's your name?"
"I am Emperor Comatose. Kneel before me."
"Incorrect.”
― Andy Weir, Project Hail Mary

“So, in the face of overwhelming odds, I'm left with only one option: I’m going to have to science the shit out of this.”
― Andy Weir, The Martian