Quotes - Aidan (Hopkinsville, KY) Showing 1-30 of 56

#1

“′Classic′ - a book which people praise and don't read.”
― Mark Twain

tags: books, classic, reading

18882 likes

#2

“Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.”
― Mark Twain

tags: humor, politics

9109 likes

#3

“Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.”
― Mark Twain

tags: living, world

8288 likes

#4

“I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”
― Mark Twain

tags: classic-insult, funeral, funny, humor

7635 likes

#5

“But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?”
― Mark Twain

tags: humor-satan

6214 likes

#6

“Loyalty to country ALWAYS. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it.”
― Mark Twain

tags: patriotism, politics

6007 likes

#7

“I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.”
― Mark Twain

tags: death, inspirational

6382 likes

#8

“Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination.”
― Mark Twain

tags: happiness, sanity

4459 likes

#9

“Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.”
― Mark Twain

tags: darkness, human-nature, moon

3791 likes

#10

“If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.”
― Mark Twain

tags: misattributed-mark-twain, newspapers

3560 likes

#11

“Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.”
― Mark Twain

tags: courage

3359 likes

#12

“Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.”
― Mark Twain

tags: inventing-humor

2594 likes

#13

“A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.”
― Mark Twain

tags: bank, bankers, humor

1600 likes

#14

“I didn't have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead.”
― Mark Twain

1681 likes

#15

“April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.”
― Mark Twain, Pudd'nhead Wilson and Other Tales

tags: humor

1446 likes

#16

“Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.”
― Mark Twain

1574 likes

#17

“I have found out that there ain't no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.”
― Mark Twain, Tom Sawyer Abroad

tags: humor, travel

1405 likes

#18

“When angry, count four. When very angry, swear.”
― Mark Twain

tags: anger

1318 likes

#19

“Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.”
― Mark Twain

tags: animals, dogs, heaven

1261 likes

#20

“The Bible has noble poetry in it... and some good morals and a wealth of obscenity, and upwards of a thousand lies.”
― Mark Twain

1001 likes

#21

“The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven not man's.”
― Mark Twain

tags: animals, dogs, heaven, inspirational, man, religion

951 likes

#22

“Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.”
― Mark Twain

tags: humor

813 likes

#23

“I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie; I can, but I won't.”
― Mark Twain

tags: lies

699 likes

#24

“All right, then, I'll go to hell.”
― Mark Twain, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn

tags: hell, resignation

683 likes

#25

“My books are water; those of the great geniuses is wine. Everybody drinks water.”
― Mark Twain, Notebook

tags: books, writing

601 likes

#26

“The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.”
― Mark Twain

tags: remaining-silent, reticence

562 likes

#27

“If Christ were here there is one thing he would not be—a Christian.”
― Mark Twain, Notebook

548 likes

#28

“Thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is lightning that does the work.”
― Mark Twain

466 likes

#29

“There's one way to find out if a man is honest: ask him; if he says yes, you know he's crooked.”
― Mark Twain

tags: honesty

413 likes

#30

“In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards.”
― Mark Twain, Following the Equator: A Journey Around the World

tags: education, humor

418 likes

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