Michelle > Michelle's Quotes

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#1

“The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four people is suffering from a mental illness. Look at your 3 best friends. If they're ok, then it's you.”
― Rita Mae Brown

tags: humor, insanity

12672 likes

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#2

“Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead.”
― Charles Bukowski

tags: humor

22570 likes

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#3

“All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring.”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters

tags: god, humor, life

11627 likes

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#4

“There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.”
― Oscar Levant

tags: genius, humor, insanity

9912 likes

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#5

“I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer”
― Douglas Adams

tags: attributed-no-source, humor, misattributed-douglas-adams, wit

11390 likes

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#6

“Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like.”
― Lemony Snicket

tags: fate, humor, simile

13162 likes

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#7

“I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.”
― Mae West

tags: humor, temptation

7021 likes

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#8

“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”
― Steve Martin

tags: humor, obvious, simile

35272 likes

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#9

“Reality continues to ruin my life.”
― Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

tags: calvin-and-hobbes, humor, life

21248 likes

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#10

“Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.”
― Kurt Vonnegut

tags: humour, telekinetics

10133 likes

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#11

“I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it.”
― Rodney Dangerfield

tags: crime, funny, humour, neighborhoods

3719 likes

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#12

“What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife.”
― Rodney Dangerfield

tags: funny, humour, infidelity, parenthood, parenting, sexuality

2190 likes

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#13

“Hey. Sometimes life is a shit flavored Popsicle.”
― Carl Hiaasen, Nature Girl

tags: humour

645 likes

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#14

“Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking.”
― Dave Barry

tags: funny, humour, jokes

543 likes

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#15

“I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”
― Marilyn Monroe

tags: attributed-no-source, best, life, love, misattributed-marilyn-monroe, mistakes, out-of-control, truth, worst

166072 likes

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#16

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
― Oscar Wilde

179184 likes

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#17

“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
― Maya Angelou

89943 likes

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#18

“Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.”
― Marilyn Monroe

tags: attributed-no-source, be-yourself, inspirational

50073 likes

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#19

“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform (or pause and reflect).”
― Mark Twain

tags: individuality, majority, minority, pause, reflect, wisdom

43997 likes

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#20

“Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.”
― Dylan Thomas, In Country Sleep, and Other Poems

3461 likes

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#21

“What's the good of living if you don't try a few things?”
― Charles M. Schulz

tags: cartoonist, humor, inspirational

3307 likes

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#22

“My only advice is to stay aware, listen carefully, and yell for help if you need it.”
― Judy Blume

tags: inspirational, life

2126 likes

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#23

“And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand,
They danced by the light of the moon.”
― Edward Lear, The Owl and the Pussycat

tags: dance, happiness, nursery-rhymes

2198 likes

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#24

“Hard times require furious dancing. Each of us is proof.”
― Alice Walker, Hard Times Require Furious Dancing

1380 likes

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#25

“Begin at the beginning," the King said, very gravely, "and go on till you come to the end: then stop.”
― Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

tags: humor

5161 likes

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#26

“The beginning of love is the will to let those we love be perfectly themselves, the resolution not to twist them to fit our own image.”
― Thomas Merton, The Way of Chuang Tzu

3114 likes

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#27

“The time will come
when, with elation,
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror,
and each will smile at the other’s welcome.”
― Derek Walcott, Sea Grapes

1382 likes

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#28

“I have great faith in fools - self-confidence my friends will call it.”
― Edgar Allan Poe, Marginalia

tags: faith, fool, humor, self-confidence, self-irony

6469 likes

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#29

“If you can't go back to your mother's womb, you'd better learn to be a good fighter.”
― Anchee Min, Red Azalea: A Memoir

tags: fighting, mother, womb

1150 likes

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#30

“Never open the door to a lesser evil, for other and greater ones invariably slink in after it.”
― Baltasar Gracian, The Art of Worldly Wisdom: A Pocket Oracle

tags: choice, evil, invitation, strategy

1978 likes

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