Big Books of 2026

Ashmit > Ashmit's Quotes

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  • #1
    Frank Zappa
    “So many books, so little time.”
    ― Frank Zappa
    tags: books, humor
    151333 likes

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  • #2
    Mae West
    “You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”
    ― Mae West
    tags: humor, life
    119048 likes

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  • #3
    Dr. Seuss
    “From there to here, from here to there, funny things are everywhere!”
    ― Dr. Seuss, One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish
    tags: humor
    3181 likes

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  • #4
    Mae West
    “I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.”
    ― Mae West
    tags: humor
    3107 likes

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  • #5
    Cassandra Clare
    “You're an idiot."
    "I've never claimed to be otherwise.”
    ― Cassandra Clare, City of Bones
    tags: humor, idiocy
    3086 likes

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  • #6
    Nikolai Gogol
    “The longer and more carefully we look at a funny story, the sadder it becomes.”
    ― Nikolai V. Gogol
    tags: humor, sadness
    3087 likes

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  • #7
    Rick Riordan
    “It's hard to enjoy practical jokes when your whole life feels like one.”
    ― Rick Riordan, The Last Olympian
    tags: enjoy, humor, joke, prank
    3062 likes

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  • #8
    Phyllis Diller
    “A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.”
    ― Phyllis Diller
    2812 likes

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  • #9
    Cassandra Clare
    “My rapier wit hides my inner pain.”
    ― Cassandra Clare
    tags: humor, jace-wayland, the-mortal-instruments, tmi
    2781 likes

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  • #10
    Charles Lamb
    “I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.”
    ― Charles Lamb
    2827 likes

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  • #11
    Mark Twain
    “I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.”
    ― Mark Twain
    tags: humor
    3019 likes

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  • #12
    “You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.”
    ― Pat Monahan
    tags: humor, immature, young
    2645 likes

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  • #13
    Mae West
    “Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.”
    ― Mae West
    tags: humor, sex
    2572 likes

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  • #14
    Oscar Wilde
    “No good deed goes unpunished.”
    ― Oscar Wilde
    tags: humor
    2591 likes

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  • #15
    Groucho Marx
    “Humor is reason gone mad.”
    ― Groucho Marx
    tags: humor, reason
    2514 likes

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  • #16
    Isaac Asimov
    “If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood. I'd type a little faster.”
    ― Isaac Asimov
    tags: humor, writing
    2374 likes

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  • #17
    Alfred Hitchcock
    “Puns are the highest form of literature.”
    ― Alfred Hitchcock
    tags: funny, humor, literature, puns
    2179 likes

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  • #18
    George Carlin
    “Meow” means “woof” in cat.”
    ― George Carlin
    tags: animals, cats, dogs, humor, language
    2147 likes

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  • #19
    Oscar Wilde
    “I like men who have a future and women who have a past.”
    ― Oscar Wilde
    tags: epigram, humor, men, women
    2171 likes

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  • #20
    Oscar Wilde
    “The world is a stage and the play is badly cast.”
    ― Oscar Wilde
    2185 likes

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  • #21
    Jim Butcher
    “Are you always a smartass?'

    Nope. Sometimes I'm asleep.”
    ― Jim Butcher, Blood Rites
    tags: humor, impudence, sarcasm, smartass
    2108 likes

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  • #22
    John Green
    “As long as we don't die, this is gonna be one hell of a story.”
    ― John Green, Paper Towns
    tags: humor
    1997 likes

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  • #23
    Stephen King
    “That wasn't any act of God. That was an act of pure human fuckery.”
    ― Stephen King, The Stand
    tags: god, humor
    2035 likes

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  • #24
    Christopher Paolini
    “People have an annoying habit of remembering things they shouldn't.”
    ― Christopher Paolini, Eragon
    tags: history, humor, memory, recall
    1999 likes

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  • #25
    Woody Allen
    “To you, I'm an atheist.
    To God, I'm the loyal opposition.”
    ― Woody Allen
    tags: absurd, atheism, humor
    1953 likes

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  • #26
    Mark Twain
    “A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory.”
    ― Mark Twain
    tags: conscience, humor, memory
    1972 likes

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  • #27
    Brandon Sanderson
    “You see, that is the sad, sorry, terrible thing about sarcasm.

    It's really funny.”
    ― Brandon Sanderson, Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians
    tags: humor, sarcasm
    2018 likes

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  • #28
    L.M. Montgomery
    “Life is worth living as long as there's a laugh in it.”
    ― Lucy Maud Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables
    tags: humor, laughter, life
    2035 likes

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  • #29
    Stephanie Perkins
    “French name, English accent, American school. Anna confused.”
    ― Stephanie Perkins, Anna and the French Kiss
    tags: anna, humor
    1798 likes

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  • #30
    Carolyn G. Heilbrun
    “A literary academic can no more pass a bookstore than an alcoholic can pass a bar.”
    ― Amanda Cross
    1715 likes



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Tags From Ashmit’s Quotes

books
humor
life
idiocy
sadness
enjoy
joke
prank
jace-wayland
the-mortal-instruments
tmi
immature
young
sex
reason
writing
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literature
puns
animals
cats
dogs
language
epigram
men
women
impudence
sarcasm
smartass
god
history
memory
recall
absurd
atheism
conscience
laughter
anna